How to keep piano scratchers from scratching the piano!

Build a fort of course!!

Step number 1) Pull out the coach and vacuum behind. Leave pulled out 12 inches. (HEY! Did I tell you about the time we had Home Teachers come over and Corey actually pulled a coushion off the couch because it had something spilled on it? Maybe you didn't hear correctly. PULLED THE COUCH Cushion OFF!!!! With a family of 6! Do you know what can live under the coach cushions with this many kids? And he dared to expose it? But guess what? I was safe. I had just vacuumed under it. I am a studious fridge cleaner and under the couch cousin cleaner. I vacuum under them every time I vacuum the living room. Every.time.)

Step number 2) Put cute little chairs behind the couch for the piano scratchers to sit on.

Step number 3) Stack pillows all along the back to cover the fort.

Step number 4) Try not to eat any calories while doing all this because later at lunch you eat 800. True Story. (Note to self: You can't resist the taco shell on an otherwise perfect low calorie salad. You think you will. You think you will just eat the salad but you won't. Trust me, self. I know.)







*Defintion of Home Teacher in the LDS religion: Home teaching is the responsibility of men to watch over the members of the Church. Home teachers visit their assigned families at least once each month to teach and strengthen them. Home teachers establish a relationship of trust with these families so that the families can call upon them in times of need.

Why we don't buy anything nice!

Curses! Curses! Curses!

Some little scoundrel scratched up my already totally old and scratched up piano.... MORE!

This old piano survived a fire! It doesn't have matching legs! The principal's son engraved his name in it and then later it was sanded out! It has been through enough!

I bought it at a school auction. I have deep feelings for it. Because of it, hard work is all that now stands in my way of sending a missionary son out knowing how to play church hymns. That means ever so much to me.

So I am getting ready to go to bed Sat night when I see this!

I gasp, sucking all the air out of the room! I assumed little Khronicles of Kate did it until Corey notices this.

The next day I ask Bo about it. He said Kate did it....with a knife.

I don't know....he looks pretty suspicious!

Corey and I own nothing new. We have learned our lesson more than once. I think one of our first things we did buy new was a fridge when we moved into this house. About a week year later Rhett hammered it. Little dents all over.

This is the only thing I have ever actually purchased as furniture (aside from a bunk bed).

I think I paid $60 bucks for it and, at the time, was choking over the price. But I really wanted a cute little table as my night stand. To go in front of my wonderful grandpa's screen.

I still love it.

What are you reading?

Here is what I am reading.

Trying to keep up with my New Years goal and get through the Book of Mormon, Sarah's Key which I heard was so good but I am slightly scared of it after the first few chapters,

a book a friend gave me to read called, Confessions of an Unbalance Woman. Does that fit me? Sadly so. And a book called The Help, which I am enjoying until it comes to the part where the little toddler is loved more by her nanny than her "mom". That story line kills me. I don't get through books very fast. I only read at night and then I fall asleep.

I can't stand it if there are messages on my answering machine. I have to clear them out the second I can. It feels like unfinished business if they are left on there and it bugs me.

Does anyone else have to hang their food in their closet to keep it away from the bears? We do! Seriously, any food that is for a recipe or a treat has to be tucked away or the kids eat it all.

So later to keep the kids busy I gave them a new color wonder marker set with some special paper. I go off to read my scriptures.....I mean to check out Face Book and when I come back a scarey native man greeted me.

No seriously. This scares me. He looks FREAKY.

And last but not least...In an unappreciated effort to be healthier I put spinich on the little kids sandwich as lettuce.

Think they noticed?

Bye!

Oh yeah...Kate wore a dress to church with sweatpants and snowboots. I was late getting there and the other responsible party didn't seem to notice....or more likely, care.

Gotta love it!

Khronicles of Kate and Stupid daddies!

"Calories in Calories out"-you are a big poopy head!

Anyhoo, Well, look what little moo moo pants has done now!


Notice the problem?

She cut off the end of her pony tail! The little bugger! I thought she was done with the hair chopping but apparently not. I am just lucky it wasn't worse!

She and Pig watching TV.

I love how he is facing the right direction.

Her hair is getting long and I have been asked if I am going to cut it. Uhhhh.....NOOOO!!!! She needs every inch so when SHE cuts it it isn't as obvious!

Tonight Corey told Kate to be quiet because she was disrupting...hello? Celebrity Apprentice! Corey, Justine and I love that show.

So Kate says to me "stupid dad". I told her not to say that and she kept at it and I kept reprimanding her and Corey asked me three times

"what did she say"

"she said stupid daddy."

"about you?"

"no, you!"

"is she saying that to me?"

"yes" and by that point I was beginning to understand why!

It was as if he just couldn't fathom it.

Then a few minutes later she told Bo to shut up and also she said "Oh crap" when she couldn't buckle her shoe! She is getting to be quite the little potty mouth!

When my oldest kids were little and had no older siblings to be the bad examples, they didn't even know the word "Fart". They actually said "passed gas"! I had them trained so well.

It's a new day!

Well, I am finally committing myself to a "Calorie in, calorie out" food plan.

I have been much inspired by a friend who just lost 100 pounds this way. I say "just lost" but I really mean in a year! She looks incredible.

You basically do some crazy math scenario which tells you how many calories you can eat in a day to lose approx 2 pounds a week and then as you lose weight you reconfigure that crazy math scenario and you eat less calories. I think it is sort of the weight watchers plan also. But because of a kid needing $5,000 in braces I am going to try to do it with the support of friends instead of WW.

So I am not going to tell you how many calories I am eating in a day because I don't want you all doing the math and figuring out how much I weigh! I know you people! Trying to hurry and whip out the calculator in anticipation. Rude!

But did you know FOUR cups of spinach is only 20 calories????? I can do that!

So here is my breakfast this morning in case you care. I know some people might think gag but I think it is delish!

Scrambled egg with onions and spinach. No mushrooms. Boo.

So also because Gillian from biggest loser said so I can also have a treat every dang day!!!! Hallelujah! As long as it is under 200 calories. Wish me luck!

I have a blog stalker!

Soooo...... I just got an annoying comment from "anonymous"!....again.


Every so often I will get an annoying comment from anonymous and they always have the same creepy feeling about them. They are from my husband.


And I always know they are from him because of that creepy little feeling in my gut. He lies and tells me they aren't his comments but I know better. My spidey senses are on over drive.



One time he told me to quit blogging and get back to house work.


He swore when he saw the huge amount of salt and pepper shakers I own.

and just now he told me my post a few days ago was way too long!



So it made me think! Hardly anyone entered my contest for the awesome free soap nest! What is up with that? I have gone to more work to get a free sample of travel size tide!


So maybe my post was too long nobody read it and knew there was a contest.

Or maybe you thought it cost money to join Kim's birthday club. It's free!!!!!!! and EASY!!! And you get free soap on your b-day! That is more than I have gotten some years!



Or maybe you guys just don't like competition!

Or maybe you don't like winning free things.


Or maybe you don't wash your hands.

I don't know. But it is still open to contenders for another week.


Oh and Corey, get off my blog!

Cool home school kid!

The other day one of my kid's friend came over. She needed a "babysitter" while she took an online test. I had to make sure she didn't cheat. She is homeschooled.

She is a pretty cool kid. She is funny and smart and says it how it is.

Since I am always intrigued by homeschooling I was quizzing her. Have you ever gone to real school? Do you know what grade you are in? Hmmm....Do you get grades? Do you work on school everyday?

So she was sharing with me about how stupid some of the test questions were.

I mean...... uh duh!!! Crystal starts CRACKING up laughing. Cracking up!!! And she reads me the first question....

What is chemical energy? BAAAaaaAhhh HAaaaaaaaa Haaaaa. BAAAAAhaaaa hhaaaa haaaahAAAAAAAAAAAAA! She continues to laugh. her. head. off. at the atrocity of such a stupid question! (yep. Still not tired of putting those periods between words)

Then I start laughing my head off.

And we are laughing our heads off at each other.

Only.... she is laughing at how some idiot wouldn't know that answer....

and.....I am laughing because. I. don't. know...... What. is. chemical. energy?......

Yea. I felt like a moron.

So in case any of you don't know either, here is the definition.....

Chemical Energy-Energy of a chemical compound which, by the law of conservation of energy, must undergo a change equal and opposite to the change of heat energy in a reaction; the rearrangement of the atoms in reacting compounds to produce new compounds causes a change in chemical energy.

I still don't know what it is.

A give away! I feel so copy cat even saying that but won't it be fun?

Isn't Face Book and blogging kind of a weird thing? You become friends with people you have never even met before? Or reconnect with people you barely knew in high school and now you are fast friends? I am actually quite thankful for the way Face book and blogs bring together so many people who share similar experiences or a past history together. I really like it. And I know people think it is a waste of time, and it is if it is not done in moderation, but I also can see how it really brings us all together as people on the earth.

One of my Face Book friends I met through my husband. Her name is Kim. He would tell me things about her here and there. He went to high school with her. I would occasionally see her comments on his statuses. He told me she made soap in her basement which I thought was interesting.

No one who knows me now would believe it (because I am too busy with other parts of my life) but I like earthy natural stuff. Not camping or hiking earthy but tree hugging grow a garden earthy. Make your own soap earthy.

I own land in the rain forests, you know. I bought it and donated it to the National Geographic so it wouldn't be developed.

One of my most treasured books growing up was about Diane Fossey and her story about trying to stop the poaching of the Gorillas. I found it facinating. And her bravery dealing with the poachers was amazing. She was eventually killed by them.

I was once a vegetarian for a whole year just because I read this terrible book about the mistreatment of animals.

I hatched baby turtles out of eggs when Corey and I first married! That isn't easy to do I tell ya!

Aren't they darling? I was so very proud of them. It isn't easy just to hatch a turtle egg, mind you.

I trained parrots that had been wild caught so they could be pets. I was so relieved when the pet stores quit buying wild caught birds and started buying ones that had been hatched out of eggs. Can you imagine the terror of being a wild bird and then put in a cage? I trained these wild birds not to encourage the sales of wild caught birds, but because now that they were caught, they couldn't go back and I wanted them to have a home.

I was mentored by an older man who was a bird whisperer. He taught me what to do.

You don't use gloves. Gloves scare the holy heck out of them. You use a towel. You wrap them up in a towel like a little baby and you hold their head so they can't bite you. You start by scratching their heads. They are terrified and their eyes are wild. And they are FREAKED out. Poor little things. You scratch them as you have a hold of their heads. You scratch all around their head and neck, by their ears. Slowly, sometimes after weeks, you start to let go of their heads and scratch, occasionally getting bit. If you can get them to forget they are wild and mad they get distracted by the scratching and like it. But then when they remember they bite you. Have you seen how birds can crack a nut?

After more and more work you can eventually perch them on your arm and you practice picking them up, getting bit steadily along the way. Slowly, they learn to trust you. Their eyes lose their wild. And they begin to bond with you. And you become theirs. It takes months sometimes. I would get so attached to them.

Look at what a girl I was. I hate getting old.

I still can't wait to get my own little parrot. As soon as Kate hits 5 I think it will be safe. Corey might fight me on the idea. But I have been waiting for a long time for the time to be right.

I use to wear shirts that said love your mother earth. and I would wear tie dye. Dyed from beets and berries I grew in my back yard. Okay, not really, that part is a lie.

Me,at my beloved place of employment. Animal Crackers Pet Store. Some of the happiest moments of my life was working there.

I churned home made butter! Does that count as being earthy?

So when I found out about Kim who makes soap I was kind of jealous. I want to make soap in my basement. I want to pour it and cut it and experiment with natural oils, herbs, and scents myself. I do I do!

Sometimes I dream of myself being a writer. And when I am taking a break from writing (strange and a bit creepy that I picture myself in a moo moo) I will wander out to my three tierd lush back yard and eat some home grown berries or snap peas. Feed the fish in my elaborate pond. That will be my version of making homemade soap.

Anyway, Corey bought me several bars of Kim's soap. They are really nice. And I learned for me the chunkier the better! I like the soap that is chuck full of oatmeal and spices and twigs. Okay maybe not twigs. But I like it to be gritty or textured as I am washing because I am exfoliating my skin. (P.S. A girl who hasn't worn make up in three days likely has NO business using the word exfoliate.)

So when I saw Kim's newest soapy invention on Face book (because of course we are friends now also) I was in love. It made me curious about her website. I mean, here is just a normal mom like me and she has created a really great little website ALL. BY. HERSELF. I thought her website was just perfect. Her soapy descriptions, her font, her great entrepreneurial ideas, I just loved the WHOLE thing.

And in case you care, Kim just might have the most loved daughter around. Her little daughter just shines with love. She also has her own soapy line.


So because I love earthy stuff and I love Kim and I like to wash my hands 400 times a day (yes it has given me man hands, boo!) I want you all to go check out her site.

If you join her birthday club (you can get free soap there also on you b-day, how cool is that?)and if you mention my blog in your email and if you comment in my comments on this post, you might just win this sweet little nest. And the fact that it is resting on that to die for zig zag paper makes it all the more wonderful. And the fact that it is brown makes it even better! Remember I like brown? Anyway, I love that paper.

Super cute, huh?

I just love the nest and those little eggies! The nest is made out of the kitchen soap. The kitchen soap just might be my favorite because it is loaded with chunkiness. Is it coincidental that a chunky girl likes chunky soap?

Remember you have to join her birthday club and comment on my blog to be entered in the drawing!

We will draw the winner March 25th and then I will announce it on my blog. I haven't done this before so I am not a pro but make sure I know who you are!

And make sure to check out her website and be impressed at how well done it is!

Okay...good luck!

P.S.Has anyone else had this problem where you comment on blogs and it won't accept it until like the third try? That happens to me all the time! So when you comment you might want to make sure it goes through. As in it will tell you if it went through. If it doesn't tell you, assume it didn't.

Khronicles of Kate

So sorry to wake up and hear about the devastation occurring today. I can't imagine the suffering. Sometimes I don't even want to. Is that horrible? It fill me with anxiety. Hoping and praying for our brothers and sisters around the world. :(



Kate is growing up so much. Life is getting a little easier. A little more under control and I am grateful. A little more cleaner although don't ask Corey about that one. he'd never believe it.


Today Kate asked me, "Where's Josie? Josie sick? I love Josie." I sure feel sad for Kate to have lost her wallowing buddy. Every day Kate would lay all over Josie and love her.

Although the time is not now, I hope Corey will let us get another dog. I just don't think kids should grow up without a dog. I think my blog has been too wordy lately and Corey quit reading it since he has been working so much overtime (thank you, thank you) so now I am safe to talk about him. Yay.


Kate cracked me up the other day. We were at Walmart (bleck) and she saw a little man that seriously looked like the toy collector (?) from Toy Story 2.


He had a strawish cow boy hat on, very short, big white beard. Kate saw him and said excitedly, "It's a Partner!"


It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about but I then realized she was calling him a partner! As in "Howdy partner". Because he was cow boyish.


Yep. I pretty much thought it was the funniest.


Also she knows her letters. Like big time. I am so happy and relieved. Hopefully academics will come a little easier for her.

Sucky things about putting your sweetie dog to sleep. Kelly-don't read!

Watching your sad and lonely husband dig a grave in the back yard in a snow storm in preparation for dooms day. Might I add I have never seen such a work of art involving dirt. He put such precision and care in this beautiful grave. It look like he did it with an angle square. Thanks, Corey.

Having your 9 year old try to hide his face in an adult man way so no one will see him cry and him trying to act tough about it. It KILLS me to watch my boys trying not to cry. What is it about boys that they just can't cry also? I feel sad for boys that they feel ashamed at crying. Nathan and Rhett both held it in while the girls just bawled.

Having that same 9 year old beg for me to just give her a pill or something to fix her. And later refusing to come see her buried.

Reading the saddest Face Book tributes ever from teenage girls.

Dear Josie, you have been the greatest dog my family could every have. I love you so very much and I will miss you forever. But I know that I will see you again soon and that we will all be together again. I know that Heavenly Father will comfort us of your passing tomorrow. Josie, you have been the best and greatest dog ever! And it is going to way hard to see you go.I love you and thanks for always being that dog that protected me and comforted me in the dark. You've always been there when I needed you. I can't express how much I love you, and I cry every time I think of you. You've been my best friend for the longest time. I love you so much Josie -Kassidy

She's gone. Josie is gone. :( -Kassidy

Love you Josie!!!!! ;( ;'( -Justine

Love to my dog Josie!! We will miss you!! :(:(- Justine

And they changed their profile pictures to Josie.

Trying to tell the most adorable ever 9 year old basketball coach that you couldn't sign your kid back up on his team because it was all full. You really aren't that crushed but you start to cry because you are upset about dooms day. So you tell him you aren't that upset over basket ball and tell him about your dog and cry and he tries to give condolences and you thank him and give him a thumbs up and walk away because you can't talk anymore.

Your husband hoping she would have held out for one more camping trip but you know it isn't possible or kind so you force dooms day asap and then you are the grim reaper.

Knowing your little ray of sunshine isn't so sunny anymore. Watching her slowly deteriorate with kidney failure.

Trying to have family prayer after discussing her and dooms day with the kids and then no one could or would say the prayer. So finally the five year old had to do it.

12 years ago we were offered a free pure bred golden retriever puppy from some very generous friends. The puppy was out of a litter of 11. I had lots of experience with animals and knew that Golden Retrievers were most excellent dogs. I had always said that would be the only dog I would ever pay money for and here was a free one. The one they were offering us wouldn't come out to greet us like the rest of the puppies. She just sat still in the kennel. Now that I look back I know that was a sign of the joy to come of having a mellow, calm dog. That was what I loved about Josie. She never annoyed you. If you had time to pet her great, if not she was fine with that also. She could speak human and would do the things I asked when I would just speak normal to her. She would patiently sit next to many a babies high chair waiting to be fed. Never begging or taking without asking. She loved all our other pets. She loved our children. We never worried about her temperament. Our children have no dog manners because they never needed them with our dog. The kids could wallow all over Josie and she never cared. She was smart and obedient and easy and lovable and just our darling dog for a long time. Oh- and this dog knew what to do when I brought out the camera. She knew how to pose and when to pose. I had her trained just like the kids. She could rock that camera.

I have five million more great pictures also in albums. I wish I had time to pull them all out and scan them in.

Not so sucky things:

Not sucky-Lots and lots of friends wishing us well even though she was a dog. One even called wondering what to say because she isn't really an animal lover but still wanted to offer condolences even though I am not sure she "gets" the animal thing. Another friend even crying for us. Teachers comforting my children at school. Friends from long ago that are now Face Book friends saying sorry. Thanks, guys.

Also not sucky-After we buried her we had a group family hug and a prayer of comfort and well wishes for Josie's journey and it was sweet.

More not sucky-A non hobbit like Samwise Gamgee type of guy was the veterinarian who put Josie to sleep. Even though he probably does it 80 times a month he was very sweet and compassionate to us and to our girl. I could just almost hear him saying just like Sam did..."Time is always against us".

It's weird and lonely here tonight.

Okay...and a little dramatic. But what can I say, we loved her.

Thanks for listening!

Sad day.

Hearts are breaking all over the place at our house today.

RIP

Josie Belle

1999-2011

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."- Milan Kundera

Good old fashioned fun!

What does your family do on a Sunday afternoon when you have been cooped up in the house under the most frigid winter temperatures for like 11 1/2 months?

Uhhhh......Play-doh of course! And I have the best ever recipe for Play-doh that is better than Play-doh itself!

Play Dough

2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 c salt
1T alum
1 1/2 T. vegetable oil
Color and flavoring

Mix all ingredients plus 2 cups boiling water. Knead until smooth. Add a little more flour if needed. Oh- I only knead a little bit and let the kids finish kneading it as they play.

Keep covered tightly, storing in refrigerator.

Too bad alum is a little pricey. I just got done at the grocery store. Does any one else shop with a sick feeling in there stomach? I have a list, I have a menu, I have done my best to be frugal but I shop the whole time feeling sick as the cart gets fuller and I know my price is getting higher. I literally feel sick inside. No exaggeration. I am going to have to start couponing again.

Anyway, a few Sunday's ago when the kids were bored I made Play-doh. It was a few hours of molding heaven. Even the big kids joined in. A lot of these Play-doh pieces were from my child hood and I love them. We have a lot of Play-doh toys from years of collecting.




























Play-doh toys from my childhood years.








My number and alphabet mold.




I loved my vegetable mold maker and grocery cart.



The wig maker!







"Love your pearls dahling!"

The end.