Thursday, December 13, 2012

I am so "words of affirmation"


Today I saw my friend Terri at a school activity.

I. LOVE. HER.

She is funny, has an ENORMOUS heart, and is feisty. She always pulls off cool parties and fun fundraisers and has huge plans and ideas. I always want to be her friend and be taken along with her on her great ideas. I don't know what is about our friendship....but I just know know know she "loves me back".




Isn't she all gorgeousness?

When I came up to her today at the school she said, "Hi cutie" all happy to see me.

I have been loving that all day. Seriously. I have been. It made me feel so good. I told you I love pet names anyways and it is a gift for someone to be happy to see you.

For some reason I feel like I have made Terri the very most proudest of my weight loss. She always wanted me to lose weight. But it was never because she was annoyed by heaviness or heavy people. It was because she genuinely loved me, wanted me healthy, and wanted me to feel better. And I do. And as I said before I am full of relief.

Love you, Terri!!!!!!

I will admit though, the holidays are kicking my trash. My other friend told me today..."It's just food. It will be here after the holidays..."

 Uh.... NO....., IT WONT!!!!! Not the same wonderful way it feels to eat food during the holidays, it wont.

But actually it is not just the Holidays.  I am struggling a tad to keep up with my same motivation that I had before. Because now that I have lost this much (60lbs) it isn't as easy to lose as fast and my motivation has decreased just a bit. I am still working on it though. Still tracking calories, still eating super healthy mostly, still  have "try in my eye". But I will admit, the decline in motivation terrifies me a bit.

So my Christmas goal is to still lose..even if it is slowwwww. As long as I am going downward, even if it is a tiny bit, I am happy. Or I am going to be happy. I am choosing to be happy. I want to be gentle to myself. I want to be realistic.

 I read a quote on Thanksgiving day from a girl who was blogging about her weight loss. It was from this blog and her name is Liz. She said "I am thankful that I keep fighting even when I slip up. I am thankful." That jut struck me. As a person who was struggling with control over food for a very long time it does make me extraordinarily thankful that I can slip up and start the fight again. THAT IS HUGE FOR ME. Thanks Liz. I hung that on my vision board and I read it every day.

Today was Kristopher. It is getting to the point where he has supported me and guided me and been super kind to me long enough. But now it is "this is your therapy, where do you want it to go, whatever you choose is fine with me" type of attitude. I miss "sympathetic, buoy me up" Kristopher, but I also know this is good for me. I think. Sometimes it doesn't feel good. But he won't be around forever so I need to learn the skills and move on.

Nathan just had me read his spelling test to him. He is in 8th grade.

soliloquy
loquacious
colloquial

Can you even pronounce those? I can't?

1 comment:

Susan said...

Jill said...I had an English teacher in high school that LOVED to say the word colloquial. It was funny.

Hello, my old friend.

It's been about six months since I have seen your face. I decided today that I needed you again, back in my life. School is all but a mi...