Craziness!

A few weeks ago I was driving my kids to school. Because....it was FREEZING and I didn't want them to wait at the bus stop. So I am in the car with all my kids and Bo tells me that his friend's mom told him she didn't like Bo because he was crazy. Bo told me this very matter of fact. Like it was just the way it was and he was not affected by it. 

(I realize that his words and interpretations may just be his own version. But still...this is the conversation we had.) 

Me...(Annoyed because I really adore Bo) "Well maybe I will go have a chat with this kids mom." (which I actually probably wouldn't do)

Bo...."Then she wont like you either."

Me...."I don't really care!"

Me...."Bo! You are not crazy!"

Him....completely not a care in the world....."Yes I am."

Me....."Well...not after you take your pill." 

*crickets*  

Because he is a little crazy. I admit it.

Here is the thing. I am in debate in my head whether or not it is okay to protect our own children at the expense of one of God's children. I can see not playing with a kid because of a certain situations or certain influences...but then I can't see it. They are just kids who need love and help as well. Do we really just protect our own at all costs?

Part of me says YES.

And part of me with the beautiful crazy child says no. NO. We grab a hold of all the children and love them. Bad influences or not. But then I think yes. I want to protect my kid and not have them have any bad influences or be around any kid that is going to take away from the best experience my kid can have on earth life. But then part of me says NO. We grab hold of all the children and do the best we can to protect ours...and theirs. 

These are just some thoughts, I have no answers. I am learning though...that writing my blog helps me be less depressed. I have quit a little bit because I feel sort of judged, or lame, or annoying, and I have some very deep feelings to write but I don't know if I want it out there so I just have quit blogging. But I think writing really helps me be less depressed. 

Back to my inner struggle...

Recently at college we had a speaker, who was a kid, come and talk about how he suddenly became paranoid schizophrenic. And he started doing odd behaviors, really odd behaviors. Really odd that I don't want to share because he is in our community and it might be private. This amazing kid lost all his friends. And parents told their children not to hang with this kid because he was so odd. And I can see how one might have thought this person was on drugs or what not. But he lost all his friends. And he was a kid. And he needed friends. And he had a mental illness.

Do we protect our own and hurt others? I really don't know. Do we actually tell children, do not be friends with that kid? 

I wasn't really mad at this mom who said that about Bo. If that really is how the story even goes. And Bo seemed completely   un-bothered by it. If he really is I am not sure. I actually am pretty convinced he is not bothered by it. 

But it made me think of that annoying French article that circulates FaceBook. Basically about how ADHD is really just parents not disciplining and being good parents. 

And THAT ANNOYS me.

Because I have a child with ADHD. And while it is true I may often be parenting him badly, he has ADHD. It is a BRAIN DISORDER. Kids with ADHD are often three years behind in maturity. Although their brain is consistently progressing. I can see that with my sweetie.  He is not crazy behaving because he has bad parenting. I could totally discipline him better. And you will just have to believe me (or not) when I say, in order to get him to settle down, or not make little spazy noises, I would end up abusing him. Because he cannot control himself like that.

 If you see him at church and he is wiggly and I am half way holding him down and petting him and not taking him out for a spanking like people may believe I should do....his pill hasn't kicked in yet or his pill just isn't a perfect fix. And he has ADHD. And I literally cannot discipline it out of him even if I try. So I don't try so much. I just love him. 

I have seen this before anyway. With my two other sons who are pretty mello guys. They out grow it, not ADHD, but spaziness.

Bo has a brain disorder. Not a bad mother. And if you don't want your child to play with him because he is crazy...that is just mean.

I want to talk about what is special about my kid. I wish you guys could see him at home. I wish you guys could see the amazing things he spends his time doing....

He and his ADHD brain are constantly figuring things out. And if you don't believe in medicine you need to meet Bo before his pill kicks in. Or talk to his teachers if I have forgotten to give it to him. (I race to the school when that happens) They testify he is not the same kid.

He plays and keeps himself busy all day doing really hard puzzles, organizing his Pokemon cards over and over, coming up with the most intricate questions full of detail and thought out concepts. He is SMART. 

Today he spent about two hours spelling his name on his wall in Christmas lights. He worked dang hard to get it right. His room looks like it is on fire because of all those blinking lights. Look at his scary step stool!

See his awesome name?

The other day he was asked to wash the walls by his dad. He stapled a wash cloth to this piece of board and he washed like that....So creative!

Also.....my kid makes one heck of a mouse maze for our pet mouse that Kate saved from the snake. Bo spent hours figuring this masterpiece out all by himself. And then he played with "Winter" for a good couple of hours. This is over kill of pictures...

He used paper towel rolls, sun chip bags, tinfoil boxes, anything he could find that would work. Serious guys, he is such a lovey dovey.

  

Justine loves Bo. Bo is fairly grumpy with her at this point. He says she bugs him. Justine really mothered him a lot and so she can't understand. I think it is him trying to grow up and be part of the boys in the family. 

I adore words.

hi.

I have spent my whole life practically in love with words. And quotes. And statements. And sayings. And thoughts.

I collected them when I was young, I put them on my bulletin board, wrote them in books, collected them, "pinned" them, put them on my vision board, decorated my house with them. 

My dad one day came in my house and didn't get it. Why I hung sentences up in my house. He didn't get it. 

But I did so it didn't matter.

I displayed things like...

Kindness counts, 

It is what it is, 

It's more important to be good than popular, 

 Be still.

Simple Abundance.

I don't know. But they sing to me. 

So imagine how very excited I was to find this DARLING new friend (friend through loving her mission and jewelry so now I'm claiming her as a friend) and her FABULOUS company. 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/lovesquareddesigns

She donates a TON of her profit an organization that saves humans from sex trafficking. It's amazing.

I bought a few of these cuffs. Because these words soothe and honor and show love to my soul. My very favorite thing is when other people want to read them and it does the same for them as well. 

Today....I took a step. All on my own. I thought it would kill me. But I lived. But not without heartbreak. It was a day of great loss for me, but still, great opportunity. A day of grieving. Deeply. And a day of being filled with so much love I cry over it. Sometimes letting go hurts so much. Even if it is the right choice. 

(btw...this has nothing to do with marriage. I know it sounds that way.) 

I'm grateful tomorrow to wear this to give me some love.

And I am thankful tonight to remember this. When things hurt it is because I am being and have been redeemed. (This cuff has a special purpose. Check it out HERE )

 I am grateful for Lisa and her God inspired company. I think it's beautiful, and worthy of notice. Please check it out.

Here is the problem with Pinterest.....

Pinterest....

Mine....

And the girl on Pinterest was doing it with her children gently around her....

I was trying to keep the kids away because all they wanted were the rolos. I think because we had already attempted this once last week they didn't care any more. And they were not the best kids project really. Because candy corns just start falling off the pretzels every where. But I got enough semi cute ones to mail to Kassidy so that made me happy. 

I also made Kassidy and her companion these turkey legs filled with candy. I love them!

I have about three weeks left of school. Lots of major assignments but I am truly enjoying it. 

Somehow with all the research I have been doing I discovered this whole time me saying I was burned out just so happens to be a real life thing!!!! Feels good to be validated a bit. 

sheesharama

BIG

HUGE

MASSIVE

sigh.

I am a bit stressed out. 

It feels wrong to complain about it when I have done it to myself by going back to school. But sheesh every thing is stressful right now. 

Apparently Kassidy is freezing and we didn't plan for her to have enough warm clothes so I am worried about her and scrambling to get stuff sent off to her. 

 I have one million MASSIVE school assignments due that I don't even feel capable of getting done. They are just huge and scary. Like presentations. My teacher was so nice today very sincerely telling me I could do it.

My sil sent me this picture. I totally need to make it. I think it is very funny.

 

Today when I went to math tutoring my tutor told me we were meeting is a different spot. so we had to meet in a room and not by my African friend. I was in trouble. Because I did poorly on my last test. So Andy decided I needed to be in a room where I could concentrate. Totally pathetic! But it worked and we got lots of tutoring done but no joking around and no learning about African dialects. But it was actually nice of my tutor to care about my grade.

I am too tired to type any more. I have had a headache for two days now. The kids at school were talking about pulling all nighters. I can't. My brain literally shuts off. 

this and that and this....and that.

So....the turkey's didn't work out. 

 I had two kiddos willing but apparently I needed the medium size pretzels. So I gave up and told the kids we'd try again next week. It is really hard to balance three candy corns on a baby pretzel. So we consumed all the chocolate and now I will have to re buy the Rolo's and Reese's pieces.

Kassidy seems to be doing very well. 

(Apparently she doesn't know how to fix the date on her camera)

It is my favorite thing on earth to mail her an envelope with a letter and a tiny treat in it each week. It might seem over board. But when I she was first out and homesick I started it and now I like it and of course she does. This week I am sending her these awesome babies. 

I always send two of everything for her companion. Then after she switched companions I felt so bad for her old companion thinking of her not getting her weekly package that I had to send her one too!

Brody is getting to be about the best trained dog ever. He still growls at people. He is getting better and better though as I (yes, it is apparently all my job) socialize him more and more. I take him in the car whenever I can and HE LOVES it. His growling is apparently just due to anxiety. He is just so timid. The dog trainer brings her little puppy who is running around like a puppy and Brody just lays under my chair and hides. He doesn't like little spazy kids or dogs, I guess.

Here are all the things we are working on and that he can do...

Sit, shake, sit pretty, down, play dead, come, be ashamed, stay (which includes if I leave the room, he is expected to sit there and wait) leave it (which means if I tell him to leave something alone he does, I can drop a treat right next to him and he leaves it), look (he has to look me in the eye) and the most important one, wait ( when I don't want him to go through the door first, which is always, or if I don't want him to race in the car or go in a room with me, I tell him to wait and he is still learning but he is suppose to wait until I tell him so.) It's fun to have a dog who can learn so quickly. Right now we are really working on teaching him to speak (bark, of course, he's not that smart!) on command. 

Here is the last thing I had to do to get Kassidy's Christmas stuff all organized...It is an advent calendar. 

So each day she and her companion pull the top of the card, read the scripture and sing the song (hmm. I don't know how that will go with just the two of them) and then it uncovers a picture of Jesus.

I got a new church job (in our church it is all just volunteer and you regularly get switched around). I am the secretary now for the primary. It shouldn't be too much added stress and I get to work with great friends so that is awesome. 

Justine came home for a night. It was nice. I miss her and her good buddy, Cheyenne, coming around. They are both so cute. 

At the Halloween Carnival Kate wanted me to do the donut eating contest with her. I did not want to waste calories on some dry old donut that had been handled by teenagers to get on the string! Ewe! 

But I Kate wanted me to and so I had to say yes. My kids can get me to do almost anything. Today I was sliding down the deck that the kids had turned into a sled hill in my pajamas! I biffed it three times which they all just thought was the best. Always fun to laugh at mom.

Little update. And my son sews.

Hi friends, I am hanging in there. I started out the beginning of the week working hard on my weight and lost a pound and gained it back in two days. SO FRUSTRATING. But all I can do is start again tomorrow and NOT GIVE UP. 

STILL adoring my classes. Every one of them I am loving so much. Well....math....Boo. Not loving it. But I have a math tutor and he is a young married guy with a new baby and he and I joke around so much with another kid we became friends with who is from Africa and so that is fun but not great for my education! But I just love the kids up there. They are so fun. 

Tomorrow I am excited because I bought the stuff to make these little turkeys. It will be fun to do a little project with my little kids. We are going to mail some to Kassidy.

My mom was so nice to make my girlie and her 

companion these darling Christmas socks.

Aren't they so great???? They are stuffed with sweets and ready to be mailed tomorrow with her tree and a message not to open until it's time!

Thanks, MOM!

 Speaking of sewing...my Rhett has been BEGGING for me to teach him how to sew. I have resisted because I knew what it would entail.....And I was right. About four bobbin rethreadings, 1 needle breakage and changeage, about four needle rethreading, and him touching and playing with every knob on the machine. He had a great time. He sewed his shorts and then just sewed on material around and around. I love him and his personality to know and do!