Saturday, October 31, 2015

I'm not much of a decorator. Like all these cool pinterest housing decorations...I have tried. Its just something I'm "eh" at. And in a  lot of ways it is just more to dust and clean up when the kids knock it down...etc...

But one thing that I got done (thanks dad) is (after YEARS of wanting to get it done) is salt and pepper shelves. And this year I got extra motivated and swapped out my standard collection for my Halloween collection.

And even though....none of them have salt and pepper in them...haha...I LOVE them. All. I added a few more to my collection this year.






 

And as soon as our spooky dinner is over tomorrow I am going to swap them out for my Thanksgiving ones.
 
I have collected salt and pepper shakers for a while now. I don't know why. I like them.
 
And now I have been collecting fondue pots. BAHAHAHAHA. I mean you need a lot of room to collect those. Haha. I have Corey's family fondue pot, a silver one my friend gave me and one I got yesterday at the thrift store that is all white. And both of the ones I got 2nd hand had never been used. Because people don't ever use them. Haha. I've never used them! Not once! But I love them. And when I have like six I am going to have a massive fondue party. But not until I have six. That's the rule.
 
So....I got an intern. I only ended up having one interview so far. They offered it to me and I accepted so I think it is mostly a done deal. Adult Probation and Parole. Who would have thunk it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

My mom is full of crazy talent

I hear Kate locked in the bathroom, talking to Grandma secretly because she knows her mom will not approve, "And I want a zoo keeper suit and an astronaut suit and a animal doctor suit...." and she was rattling off all of her new doll clothes she was wanting my mom to make.
 


Check out these cute doll clothes my mom made...





The astronaut suit-with REAL BOOTS she bought somewhere!
 
Elsa and Anna (I have to admit I have never watched the movie and am only mildly positive who is who....
 
 
 
 
 

The zoo keepers suit. Which melts my heart a little because it reminds me of my Steve. WHICH REMIND ME! Holy Cow!  I met a customer at the boot store who cried when Steve died and who also has a Crocodile Hunter board game. I haven't met anyone else who oved him as much as me.


 
And the veterinarian scrubs.
 
Seriously so cute! 



My girl is a lucky little girlie. And no, my mom doesn't take orders. :( Only from Kate apparently.
 
I had one intern interview so far. One of the positions I was after was filled by the cutest girl ever and the other one I want hasn't called me back. If I get this one that I interviewed for it will CERTAINLY be a new experience for me.
 
Shall I tell you?
 
Adult Probation and Parole!
 
What the what?!!!????
 
They might not want me now though. When they asked me what was one of the worst things I would be offended by and I gave them my honest answer it was a little shocking to all of us. I have been busting up over it ever since then. Last night as I was falling asleep I started cracking up and almost woke Corey up. Why can't I just be a little less myself sometimes!
 
I think I might not be very good at interviews. They were super nice to me though.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Good Grandpa

Yesterday I had to work ALL day. Boo. But I so love my coworkers. They make work the best ever.

My parents baby sat for the day and since my mom has had less energy for a while now due to her illness, I suggested to my dad that maybe he should carve pumpkins with the little kids.
He did not disappoint! And my dad let kids pick the biggest pumpkins they have ever had.
My dad was impressed with Kate's very precise carving. Bo had more fun stabbing knives into the pumpkin and making it pretty slaughterish!








And this because I adore. Look at those sharks little fins!!! So cute.










I had a few tastes of the adult world the other day in an internship fair. I had to walk around from table to table and have little mini get to know each others with agencies who might allow me to have an internship with them. Then they get to decide if I impressed them well enough to want me to come back for an interview. I died. It was so stressful I died. Seriously. I felt so insecure and out of place I died.
Three places chose me for an interview. I think that is decent enough. The exciting and stressful part is that MY top three choices were the ones who chose me. And I want every single one and I am scared to do every single one.
I will probably make my blog private when I start my interns. :( I don't really want to but I feel like it is wise. I know no one reads private blogs. Haha. But I still am going to.


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Dear Corey,

I ate all the DOTS too.

DOTS are the only candy I even like. Why would one buy Junior mints and DOTS, my two favorite treats for Halloween. I can't stand it.

Okay. So for reals. I keep trying plan after plan after plan to figure out why I can't get my weight under control again. It is super painful and hard for me to fail at this. I have been trying and trying. I have tried to only eat super clean foods, no meat, only natural stuff, no sugar, I have tried to be "good" five days a week and have 2 day off. I have tried to look at it as an addiction (which I believe it is). I have tried all these different methods. I have tried to be extreme and I have tried to be not extreme. I have given up pop and then not given up pop. I can't seem to get my act together. I have read and googled and listened to what other people do.

And so. I finally decided to go back to the time when I was losing weight. And when I was successful. It was when I counted calories. I gave up nothing. I just counted my calories. (Just for the record, I do believe that eating super clean, veganish, will keep disease and addiction away. But I am not successful at it right now. I mentally just can't do it right now.)

So when I was losing weight I didn't do this "I quit sugar". What I am learning is...when I have a slip it leads to massive binging. MASSIVE. When I was losing weight I didn't binge. I just said...I can have a treat later that night so I don't need to have this pumpkin cake right now that I don't even like. It's not the last treat in the world I am going to ever have. So I am trying to just go back to that. I am trying to not lose all my weight gain in one month like I have been trying to do. I am just going to eat less calories then is in my "allotment" every day and cheer for myself (like my friend taught me way back when I began). So that is my new game plan. Stick with the old game plan. My new game plan is to stick with my old game plan. I had a pretty decent heartbreak happen a few months ago and it literally just threw me so far off kilter, mentally, that I am just going to hang in here the best I can. So for now I really just have to go back to what I know. And I know how to count my calories.


School, you guys. This semester is the most fabulously fun semester on planet earth. I really think I am headed in the right direction here with what I want to be when I grow up. I am loving so much what I am learning that I can't help but believe I am. It is sort of like a lot of emotional stuff though. I have two classes back to back that really brings up your own crap. I mostly have all of mine brought up because I have done so much therapy but sometimes there are triggers that still make it emotional.

I am very thankful for all of the things I was taught by my first therapist. He believed in facing your fears. I learned the greatness and power in doing that. I have really worked on doing that. And Kassidy made reference to it one day. That she was trying to face her fears because she knew I was facing mine and that made me very happy.

So in this class that I take it is so terrifying. The teacher makes you interview people as a social worker. There doesn't seem to be anyway to prepare because the questions you need to ask change depending on the questions that were asked previously. Visualize speed dating. We are all interviewing the same person. So it is just like you basically have to wing it. It is scarier then I am making it sound. It is a teensy bit terrifying! AND the whole class can listen because we are all in one big circle with the interviewee in the middle.

AND

the teacher video tapes it so he can tear you apart the next day critique how you did and give you learning tips, etc. He comments on facial expressions, brow furrows, if you even fidget. the. slightest. bit, shallow breathing..... everything. Watching someone shallow breath on slo mo is a thing. And you can see it and it demonstrates you being nervous.

And as the teacher is showing the video in slow mo and critiquing you in front of the whole class you die. So that is my fear. I AM TERRIFIED TO SEE MY SELF ON VIDEO. TERRIFIED. I hate it desperately. It literally injures my self esteem. I just hate it so so so so much. So today I had my turn to interview and Friday I will watch myself in front of the whole class and he will tear me apart critique me. You guys. I don't want to see my weight gain. I don't want to see my crooked smile from when I had bells Palsy, I don't want to hear my voice. I am so grossed out and scared by this whole thing. I told myself I was just going to look down and not wathc the video. I would still listen to his tearing apart critiques but I just wouldn't watch.



And then I thought...."Dad Burnett! I am going to kick that stupid fear in the face and I am going to own myself on that video, the goods and the bads.

And my weak feelings turned into powerful feelings.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Corey just went to bed. I am waiting for him to fall asleep so I can email him and tell him I have eaten all the junior mints out of the Halloween mix he had hidden in the garage. He should KNOW BETTER. It's his own fault really. If it had just been candy I'd totally be fine. I really don't care about candy. But chocolate, come on. That's just a beginner mistake right there. He should know better. Who buys Halloween candy this early anyway? THat is just asking for trouble!


Rhett had a birthday. He didn't care what kind of a cake. I wanted to do something easy so I found this donut hole tower! It was easy. But apparently he isn't a fan of donut holes. LIES. I effuse to believe it. They are delicious.
 
The only problem is that you can see the Styrofoam from under the holes. So I am not sure what you are supposed to do about that to fix it. But from afar it looks cute and it was pretty easy and good to eat. every one just ate the ones they wanted. :)
 


Bo couldn't leave the tower alone. I caught him doing this several times. Not really licking it but wishing he could!
 
 
Rhett is a pretty sweet boy.
 

 
"Gators" for hunting. He is ALL about camping and hunting. Bleck.



Hello, my old friend.

It's been about six months since I have seen your face. I decided today that I needed you again, back in my life. School is all but a mi...