My internship rocks the house!

It has been my dream since I started going back to school in Social Work to have an internship at our Psychiatric Hospital. I had to wait until I was in graduate school to try but I AM THERE!!!!!!!! It has been an incredible experience. Dare I say, in the top of my best life experiences. Dare I say.... a spiritual experience. I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. the mentally ill. Specifically, those suffering from schizophrenia and those suffering from psychosis. And when I say suffering...they are suffering. Their lives have been hijacked by a brain disease. And I just can't help but deeply love them. They are cute and sweet and funny and scared and hurting and paranoid and delusional. I am excited every single time I enter the unit. When I smell the smell of the unit (which is hospitalish like) I feel like I am home. I am still scared sometimes. And sometimes it is for just reasons. But I am acclimating and my heart is so huge for them and I am learning. I still have so much to learn and experiences to work through and improve upon but as of now I am in love with this place and these people "my" team and I am so thrilled and feel very blessed to be at this internship. I am learning so much love and my heart is open so wide. I don't know if that is how it will stay, but for now, I am just so very happy and full of love.

One day a patient came and told us he was scared. We asked why and it was because the voices in his head were telling him some scary things. We were able to talk to him and tell him these things were just his brain and the chemicals playing tricks on him. We were able to physically verify with him that these things were not a problem and that he was okay and he went on his way feeling better. And my heart broke and fell in love all over again. This happens to me non-stop during the days at the hospital. 

It has never been a secret that I love to go to therapy. In my grad program, our teacher has actually told us she wants every single one of us in therapy. It helps us become better at our job and it also helps us deal with our problems so they don't ever try to explode on the patient/client. 

I see a therapist named Joel sometimes. He is really great to have a conversation with and I enjoy the really great things I am learning from him. He told me a story about a time he was looking into a new job and he drove into a very rural area and sat in on a group session with some very mentally ill people. He said the therapist was incredible and did the best job ever. Later Joel asked him about the people getting better from his treatment. The man told Joel they weren't there to get better. 

They were there to get love. 

That resonated to my core. 

When I think of my patient telling us he was scared and we appeased his fear and gave him some love and he went on his way, I remember that story that Joel told me. Many of the patients who are so very ill won't get better. But they can have some love. And have their fears put to rest. And I can lighten their burdens. That makes me so happy and honestly, it is enough for me. 

Winter camping!!!!!

Back to blogging!!!!! I will be making it private again but I after not blogging for months and months, I have found myself floundering a bit as to where to journal or write things I want to remember and I don't scrapbook anymore. Also, the company I use to use to turn my blog into a book for me quit and I have been trying and trying to find a good substitute and if I can't turn my blogs into books it seems kind of like a waste of time to blog! Sooo.....those have been my dilemma and why I have kind of been missing in action. But I really am missing having a place to document stuff. So I am going to start it again and soon I will be private again also and then I know that no one reads them but, whatever. 

I found these pictures sitting in a draft so I will start with these....Corey took the kids winter camping! Crazeee!!!!!!!!! I started graduate school to get my masters in social work and I had a big research paper do so I did not go. 

Corey made this little wood stove out of a propane bottle so they all stayed nice and toasty.

The kids all go by choice! This is not a punishment! Ha Ha. 

Graduate school has been so great. I have so enjoyed my new "cohorts" and the "team" we are. I have felt like I am definitely in the right field and I am loving this stage of life. I never knew I would. I wanted babies forever. But this is really great, too.