Kindness Counts! Nice matters! Sometimes grammar is hard!

Sometimes it is really scary to blog. I know people are critiquing my spelling, my grammar, my sensitive thoughts, my horrendous usage of comma's and over usage of dot dot dots .... in place of commas when I am confused when to use commas....and..... my lack of proof reading.

I know there are times when some posts are boring or weird or too religious or too family oriented or just not that funny.

But I keep reminding myself my reason for blogging. When I look back over my year plus of blogging I have an incredible amount of journaling for my posterity. I have things documented for my own mushy brain to remember. I could do it all in a private journal. And I hope there won't be a day when I regret putting my blog and feelings and privacy out there FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, but it really makes it so much more fun to write knowing others are reading and hopefully enjoying. Even if it is just my faithful mom and a few others who love me. I also love being able to add pictures with my journaling.

Anyway, I came across this concept the other day. I was led to it by a button I saw that said "I took the kind hearted blogger challenge and so can you!"

Basically the challenge is...Be nice to each other. And I love that. I am all for niceness. The cyber world can be MEAN and SCARY! I have read what they say about my Glenny! And it is harsh! I have heard stories from other bloggers who have been treated super mean via "comments".

Apparently the blogger that started this challenge some bad experience with some readers also so she decided to start this campaign. She has a lot of people committed. A LOT! That excites me. She changed the world a little. One bloggy at a time! Love it. Check it out at the link below!

The Kind-Hearted Blogger Campaign (sorry, I couldn't figure out how to post her button on this post!)

AS A KIND-HEARTED BLOGGER I PLEDGE TO:
•create, inspire, and admire rather than compete with fellow bloggers
•be understanding of each other-- in the blogging community, as well as in the world
•stay away from internet/blogging bullying
•speak my opinion freely, while still being mindful of other's feelings-- be tactful.
•make an effort--no matter how big or small the gesture, to spread kindness or joy to others
•acknowledge that I will make mistakes, (I am only human) but remember to learn from them
•know that at times I will post about the negative stuff in life, and maybe even some complaining (I am only human) but I will always follow up with something happy/positive too.
•believe that this world is a good place, filled with good people.

Now lets go out there and be good to each other!

Bo is a big fat lovey dovey! A BIG FAT ONE!

Ugh! Yep...I got the call. Bo is already misbehaving at school. He has been in for about two weeks. The teacher said he was smart, but that he has every sign of ADHD there is including... chewing on his shirts and making holes with his cute little vampire fangs. I guess that falls under the sign of having to be constantly fidgeting.

This isn't news to me. But yep. I cried. I have been having this little fantasy that he was doing so well! I was pretending that his little struggles had all gone away. I have been seeing him as the darling boy I know he is.


If it weren't for the knowledge that my sweetie...



was also a sufferer I might have more despair. But I see many a successful person with ADHD so I don't despair. It just needs to be addressed.

I really like Bo.


He was the most difficult baby. I knew from day one in the hospital I was going to be in trouble. He had 13 ear infections before he turn one. He had a stint with RSV....and he refused to take a pacifier. I held him his whole first year of life.


I was also up and down with him all night long the whole first year of his life. I was annoyed about that one at first because of course it is exhausting but then I remember one night... just sort of embracing it and using my favorite saying "it is what it is" and I surrendered to it. And I found peace in it. As in, I wasn't annoyed by it any more. (At least that is how I remember it 5 plus years later... *wink*)

Because of ear infections he has struggled with what I consider severe speech delay. I don't technically know if it is considered severe but it seems severe to me. Having speech delay surely seems to delay you in other ways so it has been a bit of a struggle. He had some struggles in preschool where he would fight to the death with some boys....the teacher was really worried about him but they switched him to a different teacher and a different group of kids and they couldn't believe he EVER fought with anyone. That is the Bo I see.

The boy I see is the sweetest little sweetie pie. He is by far my most lovingest child. He loves on me all day and tells me he loves me and wants kisses and hugs. At home when it is just him, he calm and quiet and loves to play. He is darling to me. Darling! I mean it. I just think he is so sweet! He is so sweet!

So, I guess we will tackle this battle (again) with ADHD but I know we can conquer. Because I love him. That's enough, right?

Bo just had a birthday. He wanted a Buzz Light Year cake....I made it....IT CRACKS ME UP. I just thought it turned out hilarious! Faces are hard!!!!!!

I know people are making these perfect masterpiece fondant cakes. Mine are the perfect homemade amateur cake. I would never be able to sell one, nor would I want to but they are perfect for a mom to give to their kid on their birthday.

And my kids think I am way cool! Really, they do. Okay...only the kids 12 and under think I am cool still. The girls have caught on. Boo.

Bo got a Buzz Light Year for his birthday. We had a little party at Grandma's.

Kate loving on sweet new gramps.

Uncle Dan cam right when the party was over and we were leaving. It is too much work to get all the kids back in the car so we had to talk right in the car...


But then wrestle time with Uncle Dan was too good to pass by. Uncle Dan is a trained lethal weapon you know!

Rhett LOVES it!

Kate loving on Grandma. She is a love bug!

I love my mom and dad! (no pictures of Aunt Sherri, sorry friend!)

Just mom stuff!

As my girls are growing older I am finding my self wondering...have I loved my girls enough? Have I enjoyed them enough? Have I embraced the privilege it is to mother daughters....enough?


I don't know. EVERYONE who has raised children ALWAYS says to embrace it and enjoy it because it will be gone too soon I want to do that. I have tried to do that. But still...it has slipped through my fingers.


Hurts to think about those things because my girls are soon to be leaving my little nest. And I have spent many a day so crazily busy trying to get through all the little kids and their challenges.... that I haven't been able to devote or embrace those older girls the way I wish I could have.



I have a friend who has one child. And they love that little girlie like you have never seen a little girlie loved before. And she doesn't seem spoiled. It isn't like that. She just is shiny from so much love that is poured into her. And I want to take my girls and show her their girl and her shinyness and tell them..this is how much I love you. See how shiny and loved she is? That is how loved and shiny I want you to feel. See how she is just gifted with love from her parents? That is how I feel about you.

And I want to shake them a tiny bit and somehow show them how much I love them. But because they have had siblings and the craziness that come with raising a large family, they have been subdivided and sort of had to share that shinyness. Or maybe I just haven't been able to give them more then just a glisten. Maybe it's just me. But I want them to see how bright and shiny I really do feel about them. (disclaimer: this does not mean I don't still love large families. It just means there are things about small families that are lovely also. But the large family thing....I just want to eat it for lunch....I love it so much.)



The other day was Kassidy's 17 birthday! What in the world? That just kills me. My friend made the cake for me because I was stressed and weary from surgery. I have the most dearest friends ever. I could have bought a cake. But the kid's special cakes mean so much to me and I really wanted her to have a popcorn bucket cake.


When we were ready to cut it I asked her if she understood why I gave her a pop corn bucket cake. And she sarcastically, but cutely, replied..."No, I would have no idea why you want me to have a popcorn bucket cake." (She works at the movie theatre) My heart was bursting with pride and laughter. She was sarcastic!!!! She did it! I loved it. For a long time this girl could neither give nor take sarcasm. She just didn't get it. It would always hurt her feelings. I am not an enjoyer of sarcasm anyways but it was just good to see her dishing it out a bit. Love her!


My baby on her SEVENTEENTH birthday! Me...*falls over dead*
(Thanks to Kirsten....my cake making buddy!)


Tonight the girls in our church group cooked us girls camp leaders dinner as a thank you. Sweet girls I tell you! One of them even Face Booked me to see how I was after my surgery. Little sweetie.

Anyway, I was sitting eating with my friends and I saw Justine talking with her friends. A very old family dog came up to her. Justine loves dogs. She wants a job working with dogs. She stopped talking to her friends for a minute and scratched that old dog on his head and around his little ear with her cute little fingers. She talked to him a bit and then he went on his way and she looked back at her friends with her hand under her chin. She just looked so bright and beautiful, just chatting with her friends and loving on an old dog in her simple, natural way. Wish I could embed that vision in my mind forever. Love her!

She and Kassidy go to early morning seminary. And I mean EARLY. She has to be there at 6:00am. Although my mom reminded me that I use to go at 5:30am. And my mom would have to drive me and she would walk the church while I was in seminary. AT 5:30am IN THE MORNING. Only now do I even appreciate that.

I told Justine on her seminary days I would feed and water her rabbits. Justine was so nice. She didn't want to accept me doing it because it would burden me. Sweet. I convinced her it was a gift I'd like to give her. Love!

I have a lot of friend who don't like Oprah. But I do. I have always liked her. And maybe there is some secret reason I shouldn't like her but I don't know it. Or I can't remember what my friends told me anymore and I still like her. Or maybe I am too shallow to understand the depths of what is wrong with her. So I still like her.

Anyway, today she had on past shows and she had a lady named Tony Morrison on. And she talked a lot about this... "When a kid walks in the room...does your face light up?" And then Oprah said that everyone is always looking and wondering "Do you see me?". Ugh! Breaks my heart that people in the world feel unseen.

Somewhere I must have heard this "does your face light up" when I had babies. Because I do remember always before I would go to get them out of their crib ....even though I was wishing they were still asleep....I would put on this huge happy face and act like I was just so thrilled they were awake. I think I still do that now when I see my kids.... I think I act all happy and tell them I missed you! Even if I had just been relaxing and eating bon bons....(okay...I have never even had a bon bon)

Whew! Parenting is SUCH a responsibility!!!

Just a thinkin'

I was ALWAYS GOING TO ADOPT. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. I JUST WAS.

And I was going to adopt children living in third world countries in orphanages. I remember crying in front of Corey and my mom when we were engaged and there was a TV special on about suffering children in the world and I said then... I was going to adopt and save children. I just was going to.

SO when I see wonderful blogs like this or this or hear about a high school classmate that adopted from Ethiopia, I feel sad and like I have missed my mark.

But how can I feel that way when my life is so blessed and full of children? And in my religion we do believe bringing spirits into the world is an important work.... so..... I don't necessarily wish I'd done things differently. I just think I have a dream that maybe won't come true. Or maybe my marked changed a bit. Or maybe I just couldn't do it "all". But I desired too. Does that count for anything? My compassion for parentless children all over the world runs deep and leaves me restless.

After having these six children I am not sure there is much left of me to save other children right now. I sort of feel like I need to save the ones I've got. I also didn't marry a man who has any desire to adopt. And I don't judge that really. I'm not mad at him about it. It just is. I'm not sure I could do it if he wanted to, although I believe I could be made equal to the task if I was meant to.

I have been following this blog lately. About a very prayerful girl who was on a path to a big house with her small family and "things", when she says God called her to a different life and she and her husband listened. And have now adopted 2 children form a "jail" in Africa. They have started a foundation to help save the other children left behind

I want to do that. And while reading her blog I feel sort of sad that my saving children through adoption likely won't happen. And it has left me wondering, if I cannot adopt....what should I do to settle the restlessness inside me. How can I still help? Where do I focus my attention, and what is my "call" from God. You know...aside from the one I already am doing...

It has also made me realize a few other things I'm not thrilled with. I consider myself a very religious person. But I am not spending my time searching in prayer and scripture what I should be doing with my life. I am just living it. I pray as I go always but do I search? I think I have been doing things right and I think I have been led many times to make appropriate choices for my children but honestly I don't take it as serious as I should.

So while I have been down I have been thinking... the kids are getting older and I want to make sure that any free time I have is not wasted watching reality shows (love them though I may) and now that I am "barren", (although my sweet friend, Kathleen, left this comment on my blog that made me think, as women we don't have to be barren! Our love can make us otherwise.... "My dear friend, you may not be having more babies but you will never be "barren". You have way too much love, faith and good humor to be "unfruitful"! " Don't you love that!!!!!) and knowing we probably won't adopt I am left wondering what big thing can I do to "save the world" . I'll let you know when I figure it out. Maybe we can work together. I do have a few short term plans you can help me with which I'll blog about soon.

I wanted to share this post with you. This is the girl I was referring to who was on a plan to a big house, etc. when God called her to a different plan... I have really enjoyed her thoughts. She is in the process of sharing some things she has learned that help her with parenting. This partial list below (that came from a blog she referenced) is the first one she shared and the rest of the things to help with parenting she is sharing day by day if you care to tune in to her blog. Inspiring. I am posting, for my "journal", the parts of the list that touch me. Link over to see the full list.

Ann Voskamp's 10 Points of Joyful Parenting (Minus the few I didn't add because I they didn't "call" to me)

1. Today, I will make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite our children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.

4. Today, when stress mounts, I pray to dismount it with gratitude. My stress management plan will be intervention with verbal thanks. I can only feel one feeling at a time, and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!

5. Today, I will pray to speak words that are only STRONG words, words that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air. All other words I breathe are death words.

7. Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.

8. Today, I will hug each of my children as many times as I serve them meals — because children’s hearts feed on touch. I’ll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible — the taller they are, the more so.

9. Today, my priorities will be all Things Unseen.

10. Today, I will laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!

On the original list some of the items on the list were high lighted in blue and it went to other places in her blog that went deeper into that thought. I checked out two and they were beautiful.

So much to learn. I am so behind in so many ways. But learning is part of the journey so I hope to can continue.

I really want to make a horse stable for Kate...

It would have been mine and Justine's dream toy.

Yesterday as I lay in bed Kate wanted me to play horses. Inst it sort of annoying to play with little kids who make you play exactly like they want? And if I didn't play they way Kate wanted then I was in trouble...

Our horses slid on a slide, shopped at the grocery store and played hide and go seek. I liked that part because we worked on counting also. She can easily count to 10.

So since i like wood work i thought i should make a stable. I researched ideas and didn't love any...none were big enough or cool enough!

So I might draw up some cool plans...Yes. I have a minor obsession with Brenda Breyer Horse. Love them. But that is a post for another day. It is hard to type sitting up in an uncomfortable bed with the lap top falling off your lap.

Here are a few ideas that I am going to incorporate in my plans. I really like the idea of the one where the lid lifts off. I know, I have big dreams and I never finished the kids oven or my kitchen....Oh well.

Mellisa and Doug

e-bay

e-bay I don't know if I am skilled enough to make those cool sliding doors...

A few things I LOVE TO DEATH!!!!!!

For the rest of my life I will forever love and adore and be thankful for...

Antibiotic. Dear antibiotic...Thank you, thank you, thank you. How I wish I could share you with every single suffering person in the entire world. I even prayed that, as I was so grateful for you. What foundation do I need to join to send antibiotics to the whole world?

Doctors and Nurses who do their jobs right and have the knowledge to do their jobs.

Antibiotics. Dear antibiotics...thank you thank you thank you...

Husbands who do anything you need almost the second you need it. I have been SO grateful for him.

Sweet friends and neighbors who bring in goodies and food. My kids have been having so much fun with different meals and treats.

Simple and amazing things your body can do that you don't appreciate until you can't do them anymore. I am forever appreciating my body's able to do stuff!!!!!

Sweet little 3.5 year olds who just want to give you a kiss and a hug before daddy kicks them out of your healing room.

Love, Susan

Girl junk

All I have to say about the "girlie" surgery is owie!

And I didn't even get to bring home a little swaddled sweet pea!

Or fake boobs! Which was what someone asked Corey if he meant when he used the term "girlie" surgery on FB.

Oh well. Right before the surgery they did a pregnancy test. When they came back and told me my blood work looked good, I said..."So I'm not pregnant? It would be my greatest joy if you told me I was." But I wasn't.

Corey told me he'd have ran out of there if I was! That would be helpful.

But the nurse said sometimes that happens to people. And it has happened to people who have never been able to have children. And then right before their girlie surgery they find out their pregnant! Can you even imagine? What a sweet gift!

Once again so grateful for NURSES! They can be your best friend or you worst nightmare. Our hospital must have all best friends because they were all GREAT. I even was able to reconnect with Susie who saved my life when I delivered Kate! (felt like it anyways!)

Also grateful for family and friends who comfort and support. And older children who raise younger children for a few weeks. And a spouse who carries the load and lets me wake him up all night in pain.

Corey posted this on FB against my wishes. So what the heck...you might as well enjoy also.... Plus I want to keep this one random picture in the right spot when I turn my blog into a scrapbook. So here you go. All drugged.

Apparently the nurses told me to breath and I had my eyes closed and a few minutes later shook my head no like a spoiled brat Corey said.

And Bo asked Corey if he thought I would remember him when I was done. Sad.

Don't give up on me!!!!!

I do plan on blogging again someday!


Summer and kids out of school is just kicking my rumpus! Grr. I really love the idea of being a home schooling mom. I just wish I didn't have to have my kids home to do it! I can't get anything done!


I have been to girl's camp for a week. Worked to death and loved talking and hanging with some bestie friends! I love girl's camp!


My kids go back to school in a few weeks.


I am having that annoying girlie surgery next week so I will be a bit out of commission. And left barren.


Makes me sad. But six kids is a lot and I had health problems with Kate. I haven't seen an angel declaring I should have another baby so I guess I am done. Bummer. Love those little babies!


But...I also am pretty maxed out and would really like to be able to relax mentally a bit without the constant demands of little people.


So whatever. Whatever. For some reason it makes me mad. And glad. I'm all over the map.

A little Khronicles of Kate for you...she is mostly outgrowing all her little mischief makings. But she is still a little firecracker.

Went outside today to find her shut in the rabbits cage with the rabbit. I got her out and reprimanded her and Bo. (Bo had done the same thing last week!) She instantly wanted a hug. She told me "I like you, mom!" Then she told me to hug Bo also. Sweet little lovey.

Then she had me super annoyed when she was playing in the car. I was in the garage and I wanted out but she kept shutting the garage door. So I would open it to get out but she would instantly shut it again with the garage door opener. I seriously could not get the door open because she kept shutting it on me! Grr!

Bye for now! (FYI-I am up late becasue I like to stay up and watch Cops)