Hi.
So...about three years ago I was just got exhausted from life and mothering. I have beautifully fun and LIVELY children. My little kids have all been VERY busy. SO I just sincerely got tired.
In our church we have a thing called Family Home Evening. The leaders of our church instruct us to have it once a week and we gather our family and teach about Jesus and doctrince and we play games and send time together.
There is joke....Family Home Evening is a fight with a prayer before and after. Hahahaha. Cracks me up because that is very often how it goes. Especially with a lot of loud, wild, children. I did my best to faithfully gather my children and we had Home Evening each week. I am not joking when I say there were many beautiful times of sincere family time. And there were many times of a lot of CHAOS.
And I got tired. And stopped having it. And,I didn't feel guilty. I truly felt that Heavenly Father knew I had done all I could. And it would be okay. I'm not telling anyone else to follow my example. I'm just saying for me....I couldn't do it anymore. And Heavenly Father still loved me and still blessed my little people.
Is it just age or maturity or therapy or what? But I have let go of practically ALL my guilt. And it feels so nice. Now instead of feeling like everything I don't do I am going to be punished for somehow...I now think of Heavenly Father as just being patient. He's patient with me.
The other night I had a little chat with my friends. We went to dinner after my math tutoring. My math tutors are so cute. They have invested so much in me (4 extra hours of just tutoring a week!) that they aren't going to let me fail now!
This is Eloisa and her friend Maya (really great kid). We had a fun dinner. Is it weird that I am old but the one who is always saying "We have to do a selfie!!!"
Elosia is AMAZING. She is strong and interesting and independent and smart soft and kind. She has been my little kindred spirit since I sat TERRIFIED in my first social work class.
She taught me that Hispanic people really should be called Latino. She was raised in America but came from Mexico and she translated for her parents. She is ready to change the world this girl is.
Anyway, I told her that I had been thinking earlier about it and it was time. Time to recommit and start again to Family Home Evening. One step at a time.
So tonight I did. I know it might sound silly. But to a "burned out" person it took effort.
Anyway,
I prepared the most important thing first which was buying snacks. That lured them all in.
And can I just tell you...from the bottom of my soul....
IT WAS MISERABLE.
BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
NO, FOR REALS. IT WAS.
Just kidding NOT. But it was pretty crazy. Not the big boys. Just those little ones. Grabbing candy, talking, getting drinks...on and on.
But...we did it. And we prayed at the beginning and at the end. And we learned about Kassidy and her schedule on her mission. And we prayed for her.
And....it felt good and it was a start to adding the important things back into my life. I think the kids will get better as we go. But we are doing it.
Okay...
The coolest thing happened to me.
SO the other day I was in charge of the school Valentine's Day party for Kate's class. I signed up because I want her to know I was involved in her little life. But I certainly don't have time or energy.
It was super awesome when I called the first person on my list to help and somehow SHE thought she was in charge and had it ALL planned out!!!! So I convinced her to let me be in charge of a station. Pin the nose on the giant scary heart was what she gave me...ummmm......scary right?
Because Justine had come home from college with me that morning, I brought her and she was a big surprise to Kate by coming and helping at the party.
Kate ran to her and hugged her and it was this sad sweet long lost love moment.
Showing Justine that she pulled out her own top tooth!
Kate will be so glad when Kassidy gets home and Justine is home for the summer.
Kassidy seems to be doing really well!!!!! 10 months left!
I love this....
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