I almost kept a real secret from you guys. Almost.

So...

I know that sharing is very hard for some people. It isn't for me. Sometimes certain people in my life wish it would be harder for me. But I can't help that I am just an open person. I find very little shame in sharing the journey I am on.

All that to say this one dumb sentence.

I VOWED TO KEEP A SECRET FROM YOU ALL.

VOWED.

I was going to NOT SHARE. 

I then I told two people. But that was PRETTY good for me.

SO I still VOWED NO ONE ELSE. 

This was a secret I was never going to tell because it made me feel less....

sexy? girlie? womanly?

If you are also a holder of this secret and you are fine with the way it is then I give you respect and love for being okay with your body. And I am okay with it with you. But for me, it was going to be a stumbling block.

Here is how the conversation goes.

Dr. Sean Connery, ('cept my buddy says he is Tom Selleck and I agree) Dr. Toe Selleck is examining me and planning the surgery he is going to do to remove the excess skin I lug around from gaining too much weigh and losing weight. Which I am ashamed I ever gained that weight. But proud that this body carried six babies and relieved I lost the weight and grateful for skills of my Dr. Tom Selleck to give me another chance at a body free of this aggravance.

I tell him it is okay if he has to get rid of my belly button. (You know, if it has to go with the lose skin)

He says good that he might that most woman get upset about it.

I tell him naw. That he can just make me a new one and I was fine with that.

He tells me Well I would do that but it would have to be another surgery and most people don't think it's worth it to come back for another surgery just for a belly button.

I realize at this point I had miscommunicated with him.

I didn't mean I didn't want ANY belly button....

I just didn't care if it was my exact belly button. (Even though once I had the perfect shape circle of a belly button)

I think about this until the day of my surgery.

It will FREAK me out not to have a belly  button.

It will feel REALLY WRONG for me to not have a belly button of some sort.

I just assumed no matter what I would end up with a fake one or something. I didn't realize what he was talking about was some sort of belly button foundation that must be inside our guts somewhere.

I don't care about that foundation but I want an outward SOMETHING that looks like a belly button.

I googled people without belly buttons because that is the first thing I do when there is a question in the world. (There are famous models without belly buttons)

I decide if I don't get to have one I am not telling a SOUL because I don't want everyone to know. Why I can share all these other private things but I can't tell you I don't have a belly  button...I don't know.

But I WAS NOT GOING TO SHARE IT.

This really bugged me for about a month. I really did not want to NOT have a belly button. ReAlLy

But...thankfully when I woke up from surgery I still had one. One made out of my "foundational" one. And as the days go by I see that it might actually end up looking half way decent!!!!!

So phew. One more thing off my surgery docket. Makes me pretty happy.

It's all good here, folks. Nothing to see. Belly button is still intact. 

Feeling really thankful for some things like:

Insurance

Met deductibles

Dr. Tom Selleck

Potential

Strength

Educational opportunities

Hope

Future

2nd CHANCES. and third and fourth

A Girl on her mission who is THRIVING

Hey!!!! So lots of times when I ask my totally imperfect children to do me a job or help me with something since I cant move....er....lift....

Sometimes.....they complain to me.

I don't think Rhett will try it again.

Last time he complained I was like "SHAZAM!!!!!" and I lifted the back of my shirt and showed him like 1/2 of my gazillion staples that are across my back. It was awesome!!! he was so totally grossed out. I told him "This is why I need your help!!!!"

I love when parenting involves totally "in your face mister" good times like that!

Here was the high light of Kate's day. My friend down the street is home to all wandering and lost, homeless and afraid, sick and skinny, cats or kittens that might possibly be in the general vicinity of our town. It CRACKS me up. My friend adopted this poor little on it's death bed baby and Kate got to go and play with it for a while. 

Today was day one of getting my eating UNDER CONTROL. Went mostly well. Trust me when I say if you out to eat you REALLY aren't doing yourselves that much of a favor by having a salad. Trust me. 

Also, I googled how to keep a commitment to yourself since I have struggled with that. I read a pretty good article on it. I'll tell you that tomorrow. 

I had a GREAT day with my mom driving me from place to place today!!! Thanks mom!!!!! You're the funnest to be around.