Shoot, it is starting again. I can't decide whom I love more, Jacob or Edward.I guess I'll stick with Team Edward still!

The other day I saw New Moon with Justine. (Kassidy already got to go to the premiere. She only had two hours of sleep that night but it was worth it for her to be part of the New Moon craze.) Anyways, I loved it. I know... it is embarrassing to admit.... but it is a great little love story.This movie I was much happier with the actress who plays Bella. Last time I just thought she was a bad actress. But this movie she did an excellent job of being emotionally tortured through the whole movie. I actually felt pain in my heart for a little bit. I still adore the character who plays Edward although his mumbling starts to frustrate me ( I so need subtitles) and Jacob is just perfect in every way (aside from a few .bad acting moments). But I am still team Edward. I really like him.

There were a few SUPER cheesy parts...Them running through the woods in the future was just SUPER stupid! And I really wasn't thrilled with the last line on the ending. But over all I thought it was a really good movie. To people who have not read the books it may not seem that exciting but it followed the book perfectly. I don't know why I even feel the need to critique the movie like I am some sort of movie expert but that's what I think. I can't wait to see the next two movies.

While we are on the subject of Twilight, the whole topic gives me incredible hope. Since the time I was a kid I ALWAYS wanted to be a writer. Sometimes when I watch movies or read books, I think if they would have just said a few things differently or added more to this line it would have been just that much more... I have always loved writing. So I was reading on the blog of the girl who wrote Twilight and she wrote something that really gave me hope...

"The Writing: I know the exact date that I began writing Twilight, because it was also the first day of swim lessons for my kids. So I can say with certainty that it all started on June 2, 2003. Up to this point, I had not written anything besides a few chapters (of other stories) that I never got very far on, and nothing at all since the birth of my first son, six years earlier.
I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 ("Confessions") of the book.
Though I had a million things to do (i.e. making breakfast for hungry children, dressing and changing the diapers of said children, finding the swimsuits that no one ever puts away in the right place, etc.), I stayed in bed, thinking about the dream. I was so intrigued by the nameless couple's story that I hated the idea of forgetting it; it was the kind of dream that makes you want to call your friend and bore her with a detailed description. (Also, the vampire was just so darned good-looking, that I didn't want to lose the mental image.) Unwillingly, I eventually got up and did the immediate necessities, and then put everything that I possibly could on the back burner and sat down at the computer to write—something I hadn't done in so long that I wondered why I was bothering. But I didn't want to lose the dream, so I typed out as much as I could remember, calling the characters "he" and "she."
From that point on, not one day passed that I did not write something. On bad days, I would only type out a page or two; on good days, I would finish a chapter and then some. I mostly wrote at night, after the kids were asleep so that I could concentrate for longer than five minutes without being interrupted. I started from the scene in the meadow and wrote through to the end. Then I went back to the beginning and wrote until the pieces matched up. I drove the "golden spike" that connected them in late August, three months later. "

I know that is a little long but wasn't it interesting? Did you read the part that said she hadn't written anything in like six years? I can so relate to her story (minus-having a dream about my story, writing best sellers that turn into hit movies, and becoming totally rich). I haven't written in forever either. Is there hope for me to come up with something good? In my dream of what I want to do when I grow up I totally LOVE the idea of sitting at home being a writer. When I visualize that in my head it just looks like a really good picture, don't you agree?

There was a time when I wrote and wrote. I remember in college I had been writing a fiction story as an assignment for Creative writing class. In another class we were having a tour of the INEL. I spent the entire tour scribbling notes and thoughts down on some crazy piece of scratch paper I had found. The people giving the tour must have thought I was really interested but I just was coming up with so much good material for my story I had to get it sown on paper write then. The church magazine, THE ENSIGN, was going to publish my story but decided since it was fiction it was just too sensitive of a topic. I still want to find that part of me again. I loved that rush of just having all the right words for a great story. I haven't written in years. And years and years. But I have plans to try it again though. As my babies get older I can feel my life coming back to me. Although I always want more babies, it is sweet relief to get the gift of time back.

Did you guys see the cutest movie, Julie and Julia? It was such a fun movie. I loved the parts where they were talking about the beauty of a blog is you start writing one and there it is, out there in the world for people to read. You are a writer! The movie cracked me up. Weren't those some wonderfully sweet supportive husbands? My heart broke for Julia those times when she was sad about not having a baby.

I am excited to start working on my writing again but it also terrifies me because I think it is probably super hard to write something that actually gets published and I am not sure I have the follow through it takes or the belief in myself to keep at it.


I'll just have to get to work, I guess, and see where it goes...

Now if I can only have a dream that out lines the whole idea for me, that would be great. I think I will go to sleep now. Good night! Wish me luck!