Hi.
I haven't blogged much as you can tell.
The first two weeks of school I almost died.
I was in a bit of non stop panic mode. I literally couldn't breath comfortably every time I thought about school. The load was too too much. Literally. I didn't know how I would literally find the time to get it all done even if I devoted all my time to it. I had so much anxiety and panic and honest despair in my heart. I cannot reduce my credits. It isn't reasonable because of some other non important to talk about issues. But I had too much work.
One day my friend Lyndi was probably inspired to call me. She volunteered her husband, my friend, (I have talked about him before, he gave Bo a scholarship for jujitsu a long time ago) Jared, to help me with my math.
The night before Lyndi called I opened up my math and it was reading and answering questions. It should have been easy but my brain FREAKED and I couldn't do it and I was so overwhelmed and freaked. You have to work with this statistics program maybe comparable to excel in a way only for statistics, it was just too much for me.
So when Lyndi called I cried and had a little break down. I am grateful she called and I could talk it out a bit. I love her. That night I drove to their house and held their chickens and hung out with their little family and their sweet spirited home and Jared basically walked me through all my math, which looking back I can see I made it much harder then need be. They gave me some homework (Jared is getting his DOCTORATE and Lyndi is my back in school buddy also) advice and I went home a few hours later.
The next day, I could breathe again. And things started to get easier and the school expectations leveled out and I was okay after that. Only getting five hours a sleep each night, but okay.
Today I went to talk to my professor. The beauty of going to a religious college is you can talk to them about stuff like....religion! lol. Go figure. We had a nice heart to heart that I might share another day.
He told me that since last semester from this semester (I had him last semester) he could see that I was different. He said it was like my light had gone out. He was going to talk to me about what was going on but hadn't. I told him I had been in complete panic and an overwhelmed state. Complete. I cried and told him how 2 days a week I had to be at school by 8 in the morning and didn't get home until after 6 and that I never wanted a career and I just wanted to be home. I'm such a crier! Dang.
But I told him I was okay now. Interesting how others see things in you that you don't realize. I asked my dad to come over after school one day a week and my mom to take the kids home another day a week. So I think they aren't too neglected.
I am taking the most fascinating psychology class on culture. I have to blog about that as well. It has twisted my brain it has been so interesting.
Alright...see you later.
oh, BTW.... Kate makes me warm up a rice bag for her feet every night! Little stink. I actually warm one up for me before bed each night also. I keeps me so warm and toasty. Case you care.
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