I hate when I have a sore in my mouth and I can't eat my favorite Salt and Vinegar healthy chips...

Hi. 

So...about three years ago I was just got exhausted from life and mothering. I have beautifully fun and LIVELY children. My little kids have all been VERY busy. SO I just sincerely got tired. 

In our church we have a thing called Family Home Evening. The leaders of our church instruct us to have it once a week and we gather our family and teach about Jesus and doctrince and we play games and send time together. 

There is joke....Family Home Evening is a fight with a prayer before and after. Hahahaha. Cracks me up because that is very often how it goes. Especially with a lot of loud, wild, children. I did my best to faithfully gather my children and we had Home Evening each week. I am not joking when I say there were many beautiful times of sincere family time. And there were many times of a lot of CHAOS. 

And I got tired. And stopped having it. And,I didn't feel guilty. I truly felt that Heavenly Father knew I had done all I could. And it would be okay. I'm not telling anyone else to follow my example. I'm just saying for me....I couldn't do it anymore. And Heavenly Father still loved me and still blessed my little people.  

Is it just age or maturity or therapy or what? But I have let go of practically ALL my guilt. And it feels so nice. Now instead of feeling like everything I don't do I am going to be punished for somehow...I now think of Heavenly Father as just being patient. He's patient with me. 

The other night I had a little chat with my friends. We went to dinner after my math tutoring. My math tutors are so cute. They have invested so much in me (4 extra hours of just tutoring a week!) that they aren't going to let me fail now!

This is Eloisa and her friend Maya (really great kid). We had a fun dinner. Is it weird that I am old but the one who is always saying "We have to do a selfie!!!"

Elosia is AMAZING. She is strong and interesting and independent and smart soft and kind. She has been my little kindred spirit since I sat TERRIFIED in my first social work class. 

She taught me that Hispanic people really should be called Latino. She was raised in America but came from Mexico and she translated for her parents. She is ready to change the world this girl is. 

Anyway, I told her that I had been thinking earlier about it and it was time. Time to recommit and start again to Family Home Evening. One step at a time.

So tonight I did. I know it might sound silly. But to a "burned out" person it took effort. 

Anyway, 

I prepared the most important thing first which was buying snacks. That lured them all in.

And can I just tell you...from the bottom of my soul....

IT WAS MISERABLE.

BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

NO, FOR REALS. IT WAS. 

Just kidding NOT.  But it was pretty crazy. Not the big boys. Just those little ones. Grabbing candy, talking, getting drinks...on and on. 

But...we did it. And we prayed at the beginning and at the end. And we learned about Kassidy and her schedule on her mission. And we prayed for her. 

And....it felt good and it was a start to adding the important things back into my life. I think the kids will get better as we go. But we are doing it. 

Okay...

The coolest thing happened to me.

SO the other day I was in charge of the school Valentine's Day party for Kate's class. I signed up because I want her to know I was involved in her little life. But I certainly don't have time or energy. 

It was super awesome when I called the first person on my list to help and somehow SHE thought she was in charge and had it ALL planned out!!!! So I convinced her to let me be in charge of a station. Pin the nose on the giant scary heart was what she gave me...ummmm......scary right?

Because Justine had come home from college with me that morning, I brought her and she was a big surprise to Kate by coming and helping at the party. 

Kate ran to her and hugged her and it was this sad sweet long lost love moment. 

 Showing Justine that she pulled out her own top tooth!

Kate will be so glad when Kassidy gets home and Justine is home for the summer. 

Kassidy seems to be doing really well!!!!! 10 months left!

I love this....

You know you want one....Lets crack some pot. Haha I don' even know what that means.

Don't even get me started on how WONDERFUL these are...

I saw them online. I want to make my little hobbit villages out of them. So cute!!!!!

I have so dang much I need to share from my culture class!!!!!!

So here is a little tidbit...

We were reading some chapters from this book...

It is so fascinating. Even more so when my great Professor gets us thinking more and more about it.

The book has so much to say.  Sometimes in America we are trained to do  "Love yourself before you will be able to love anyone else." Kind of stuff. 

According to this book...and to my teacher's beliefs...

If you love others and other's love you there is no need to love yourself because everyone else is doing the job for you. And there is more to do that job.

For example...

I have a family of eight. If we all love ourselves then we each have one person loving us. OURSELVES. 

If we love each other then we have SEVEN people loving us. That is a lot more than one and so we don't need to put much thought into "self" because others have taken care of it for us. 

The concept of the book is all about letting go of self. 

When my professor starts talking about all this it is like...that makes PERFECT sense. 

So I was late for Valentine's Day for my kids but they came home from camping (I had to work) to this!!!! Cute, right?

All just dollar store treats. 

 So...Kate! That girlie knows how to get what she wants! She called me, I couldn't answer, I hear her jabber something on my voice mail. She had told all the kids which color of gorillas I had "said" belonged to who. I hadn't labeled them, nor did I tell her on the phone whose was whose. She made it all up and lied to the kids so that she could get the color she wanted. HA HA. (Somehow Bo got it anyway) That girl!!!! She has just got everything figured out!

I don't think cheeseballs are real food. But they are yummy.

So....

Hi. 

I have 8 weeks left of school. That just doesn't sound like much to me. Then after that my surgery and summer and back at it. 

I have officially signed up for the Social Work program and I think it will work out fine. I wrote the best dang autobiography anyone has ever read! Ha ha. I really just want to slap this on one of the pages... 

That is how I feel. I can't write my autobiography! I'm not done becoming yet!

And this...after my surgery I need some adventure. Like when my friend 

and I zip lined. I need something. What do you guys suggest? (Maybe having the surgery I am having will be adventurous enough for one year. 

You know... it is weird how many opportunities for really great discussions I have had at my work. Really some connecting conversations with customers. I love how a stranger can become a connection. I have to tell you more about my psychology class!!! next time. 

I have been having a glorious time at work dejunking the whole store. My boss is letting me junk tons and tons of stuff and I think it secretly makes him happy as well. That little store is a pretty happy place for me. I don't want to work much but I have very fond feelings for that place and the boys I work with who all treat me like the little sister even though I am older. 

So for Kate's birthday the teacher gives you the option of going to her class and reading to the class. These are the books Kate chose. 

The first book Aunt Sherri gave her years ago and it is still her favorite book. 

We decided to make a little chex mix for the kids to eat while we read. That way we would have time to read two books. I went to the dollar store and bought bags of different snacks and mixed them all together. It seemed to be a hit. 

For her birthday Kate got to stand in front of the class and call on the children to ask her questions. It was cute. Her teacher is a sweetie. She is so soft spoken! Apparently a few days ago Justine was legitimately crying at school because she missed Justine. Her teacher had a lot of empathy for her because she had that experience apparently when she was young. I never thought about the youngest child feeling so much pain when their older siblings leave. Kate got to play on the computer at school for a little while until she wasn't so sad anymore. 

 

 Kate wanted me to stay and watch her run

 her two laps in the gym....

 Do her sit ups...

Do a plank...(look at that form!!!!!)

and do her jumping jacks. I was glad I had the day 

free to spend with her for a little while. 

I totally decided I am going to be a cheesecake maker expert.

My darling girlie Justine wanted me to make her a Samoa (like the girl scout cookies) cheesecake that she saw on Pinterest. 

I had never made a cheesecake but I love cheesecake and I wanted to learn. I feel like I might have mentioned all this before? 

Anyway...look at my beauty!!!!!!

You guys...It was so so so delicious. It tasted just like the cookie also. So good. 

I need to buy a cheesecake pan now. And I have pinned a whole bunch of recipes and I am going to start learning how to make different kinds. I was so excited how my first homemade cheese cake turned out. It wasn't hard and it taster super dang yummy. 

Oh...haha. This week the second Justine got home she was care taking her siblings. I could hear her out back shaving Bo's head super long hair and taking care of Kate. She is such a doll. 

Justine's bestie and my other kid. She is really nice about humoring me. Lol. 

Me and my cute mom and my little photo bomber boy. 

By the way....this whole cheesecake think can't happen until I am out of school. School is SO SO much work. And fun. 

Some dog pooped on Kate's birthday cake! The nerve!

hi. 

Sometimes even if you are watching your calories you just gotta have a McDonald's fish filet...and maybe a small fry. But then they give you a medium instead. So that is what you have to have...out of not wanting to waste it. And if you haven't had fries for like a year...you are happy. 

The worst part of the flu is gone. 

Now I am just stupidly tired. 

But birthdays don't wait for the flu and we are celebrating two tomorrow.

Kate scrolled through all the fancy unicorn, puppies, horses and kitty sections of cakes on Google. 

And of ALL those fancy BEAUTIFUL cakes....this is the one she wanted.

A dog house. Only with her name on it. (It just coincidentally has Bo's name on it. Cause we tiny bit named our kid a dog's name.)

I was happy with that cute dog house because it is better than some of the other options on Google....say like for example...this one.....

Who could eat that masterpiece? Who could make it??? Insane!

Justine wants a Somoan cheesecake. I have NEVER made a real live cheesecake before. So I was all game for trying it out. I got some advice and some pans from my friend DeAnn and I think it might be awesome. I have to finish its topping tomorrow. I ALWAYS wanted to learn how to make a real cheesecake. 

And this is what the beginning of a dog house looks like...

And here is the finished part. It is amazing what some green coconut can do to brighten up a cake. This cake was a relief because it was easy. And when we showed it to Kate she adored it. I am amused she wanted a dog house cake. Little funny person. 

Bo came up with the genius idea of the night and the teenagers in the family INSISTED IT MUST HAPPEN. So the dog had to poo a little poo on the grass....

It had to happen. It was unavoidable. 

Nathan was gone on a hang out with friends. So Rhett and Justine had a fun evening together of some card games and a movie as well as a snow shoe hike with their dad in Yellowstone!!!!!!! So neat!!!!!

They loved it. It was a mile and a half hike in and the same back. They saw moose and elk. 

OH! And good news! Justine and I found two more abandoned sad koala bears at the thrift store. Justine hid them in Nathan's bed. I love that girl! She totally gets me! We don't know why we are so weird!

My girlie is a lady!

Did I ever tell you that my girl got to be Mary for the Nativity this year?????

It was the dang cutest thing. 

I thought it was so cute when the donkey was ready to get Mary, she sat on him side straddle. I am sure they had practiced and the kids told her the appropriate way for a nine month pregnant Mary to sit. And Kate got on like a perfect Mary.

 Every year my great friend Viki gets us all together for a little Christmas dinner and nativity night. And this year we sang too. 

It was so much fun. I had better pictures somewhere but 

can't find them.

Well, I got the flu. I am now super behind in Math. It doesn't take long. So that is sad. But I just have to keep going. One thing I keep trying to teach myself is to relax and do what I can. I can only do what I can and that's it. Sometimes things don't go well and the worst that happens (in this situation) is I will take the class again. But I can't stop, fix, or control everything (Thank you, Kristopher).

The good thing about the flu is I actually had like three naps. And it was pretty awesome. One of the naps I had the window open and it felt like spring time!

The other good thing about the flu is that it reminded me that I needed to have more compassion for my poor Rhett who also had the flu a few days before and I didn't give him the compassion I should have. When I was sick I called him into my bedroom and told him I was sorry I was grumpy and wanted him take out his own trash when he threw up in it.  And he was jubilantly telling me "Now you know how it feels, huh!!!!!!"

And then when I was parched I told him I was sorry that I didn't be more concerned that he might be thirsty (I really do feel bad for that one) but would he please go to the gas station and get me a sprite. And the little sweetie did. 

And he and Nathan heated up my rice bag like five times because I had the chills. I am telling you those rice bags are the best ever. I made one for Bo and Kate and every night I have to warm their bags for their little bodies. It is amazing how warm it gets the bed! Like it is a little furnace in the bed. We freeze a lot because we heat the house with the fire place and sometimes it is cold in the bedrooms. Sometimes I think that when they grow up they will always remember their mommy heating up their rice bags.

So one day at the grocery store Nathan informed me he had never had egg nog. 

SAY WHAT???????

I told him to go grab some. 

He drank this whole thing himself. 

He LOVED LOVED LOVED it.

So the other day our neighbors put a for sale sign up in their front yard. we like them so it was sad. 

But more importantly....THE CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even the kids were quite concerned for Kate about it.

So I went over to talk to them. The conversation sadly went a lot like this....

"Oh you're moving? So sorry. We will miss you. Can we have your cat?"

I think it is a go.