I hope to do a better blogging job for the next few weeks until I start school and my internship again...

We got our girl home. It hasn't been near as traumatic as I thought it would be. I had it in my head she was going to be SO SAD.

The air port was SO SAD. I even cried. I don't cry a lot of tears like that. The ride home was SO SAD. I didn't cry because about six times Kate spilled the beans that I had bought her her first ever cell phone as a gift. She said about SIX times... "We got you a present but it's NOT a cell phone." Thanks Kate. Thankfully Kassidy was too in her own world and didn't get it. Haha.

And it was SO SAD when she was officially released. When she took off her name tag and we got in the car she cried in the back and I cried as I drove and it broke a mama's heart. But that has been the end of the sadness. When she got home Bo hugged her and told her she would always be Sister Nielsen to him. I don't know why he said it but it was the sweetest thing ever and she started bawling.

 

 

Oh, Bo amused me so much. I am watching Rhett and Kassidy have this emotional hug. Rhett actually gets teary at times when things are sensitive. It surprises me because he is SO BOYISH, but it makes me happy. Anyway, s he is hugging Kassidy and a little verklempt and I look at Bo and he is peering around to get Rhett's attention and wiggling his eye brow up and down, up and down at him, being silly. I don't know why but it cracked me up.

 

Kassidy has been a little stressed and trying ever so hard to still be the sweet spirit she was on her mission and to not get frustrated at anything. It is sad to see her not always succeed because she wants to be "changed" so much. But it is hard when you are back in the same environment with a lot of chaos. This is why I just new she had to get to school as soon as possible. I just knew it. She goes to college in like 16 days. I think it will be perfect timing.

We have been having a good time since she got home. Kate has been clinging to her non stop and so has Bo and we have been having some peaceful days (actually Kassidy hasn't because she has two non stop little people after her, But I have been having peaceful days. haha) Kassidy ADORED the room I worked so hard to make nice for her. She even said she wanted to stay in it and not go to college. It made me happy because before she didn't have a room. She had to give it up when she went to her first semester of college and she just had a bed in a living room downstairs. I never told her I had made her a room so she thought that was what she was coming home to. She was pretty happy.

 

When Corey drove us home and pulled up to this....
 

It took a minute for Kassidy to see it because she was distracted by the neighbor's trees. When she saw it I could just see her shoulders shaking because she was laughing SO HARD. It really is hysterical. She turned out to be all that I hoped she would be!!! She was SO TALL. The kids keep thinking she is a different race though. Haha.

So I finished my semester with STRAIGHT A's! NEVER has that happened before. I did get one A- but that is okay. I still got straight A's. So exciting. I loved that semester to death. It was the best ever.

I am very grateful for the group class that I had. I can't talk about it much because we actually held group with each other and everything is confidential. But it was a beautiful experience. There is something about sharing your core and having others share their core that is very healing and very bonding. Our group made it the very furthest as far as trust and sharing and success that our teacher had seen school group go. It was a sweet experience. I am very grateful for it. Our teacher was only a bystander at the group. We were taking turns running group on each other. And then he would evaluate us and grade us and teach us what we did good and what we could have done better at. Every week we would write him notes as our homework telling him what we thought and what we might have done differently. I was all over that as you can imagine (the writing part). At first I would add little sentences in to test him to see if he was really reading it all. At the VERY first I was actually assuming his TA read them until he told me he did. Then I had to test him to see if he read it ALL. He actually would respond with good jobs or things like that. He finally was like "WHY WONT YOU BELIEVE ME! I AM READING THESE!" Anyway, because of that I shared things that were very private and very therapeutic for me to share and it was therapeutic for me to know that someone was reading them and I have had a lot of confusions and stress and hurt the last few weeks and he has read about them.

The sweetest things happened. Our class decorated his office with sweet notes and Christmas decorations. His cancer has come back and he is starting treatment and hasn't felt well. He responded by kindly cancelling our final which was good for us and good for him. Another class gave him the gift of going to our temple with him in mind, sending love and strength his way. He didn't know this. I snuck him a little email letting him know what his students had done for him and that he was loved. He sent me an email back saying he had the best students and that he had just got out of the Temple himself and had written my name on the prayer log. It was such a blessing to my life. It is no little thing to feel supported and thought about. And to be buoyed up by prayer. Really really special.

 

I have just been gaining and gaining weight. It scares me because I feel like I am where I once was which is STUCK. Like I can't control it or fix it. but then as I type this I remember the answer. I need to quit or SUPER cut back on sugar. When I do that my cravings our much more controlled. I feel STUCK because I am caught in addiction of the food I am eating. When I quit eating those thihjgs (okay I spell checked this word, it is supposed to say things and spell check told me "thighs"!!!!!! Figures!) I get unstuck. That is a huge little revelation for me just now. I have learned it fifty times but I needed to remember it!. It is hard right now because of Christmas and we have all these plans to make goodies. But I am MISERABLE heavier. MISERABLE. I tasted being thinner and I am MISERABLE. I have some work to do. I have 20 pounds to get off and I have to quit pop. Maybe I will quit the pop. Again. Yes, I know. Again. But I can't do it all right now over Christmas break but I bet I could do pop. That would be one huge thing to go back to school free of. Okay, that will be my goal.

Oh! Kassidy made up pray today in a public restaurant. I admit I was highly amused and uncomfortable. Is that bad? But she just rolled off her prayer and didn't care who saw or heard. That made me proud. I'm obviously not as strong or mature as her! Justine, who is SO shy about stuff and not interested in showing any sort of outward emotion was texting me last night because Kassidy made her say companion prayer before they went to bed. And apparently they prayed at Burger King as well. Justine said she just kept shoving fries in her mouth. (She gets so embarrassed) So fun. Life can be so fun.