Sometimes renting movies at the redbox lowers your self esteem

You guys...I got a ticket. The little kids were so fascinated by it. And they had one million questions. I told them it as like a time out for adults. And the way you punish adults is you take their money. I spoke nothing but good things about the police man and that i had driven too fast when I shouldn't have. And I may or may not have also "California stopped (?)" at the stop sign. So I totally deserved to be ticketed by our super handsome and nice small town police officer. He only punished me for one of the items and not both. And I was like the best mom ever not getting upset and teaching my kids and being kind and happy to the police officer. 

And I only got water at Maverick and not pop. 

But Now I have sort of been beating myself up over it. I am irresponsible. I spend too much money and now it will take me two Saturdays of working to pay off that dumb bill and I am super off the wagon and not sure how to get back on ever and just feeling bad about myself now. It doesn't take much! Is that how you guys are?

So today I went to my food addiction help group place. And we spoke about abstinence. food addiction is unlike any of the other addiction becasue...I STILL HAVE TO EAT. So some people choose to not eat sugar. Some people eat Vegan. Basically you have to choose your abstinence which makes it so you are not eating to cover up pain, or alter your mood, or to excessive that is bad for your body. And it is almost like everyone needs to find their own abstinence and deciding that with Heavenly father is the way to success. I have no idea what my abstinence should be. If I try to completely quit sugar I keep failing. If I try to just have one I keep failing. If I try once a week I keep failing. What am I supposed to DO????????????? I have made SO many promises to myself that I keep breaking. And once you break a few promises to yourself it begins to be easier and easier to break more and more. 

So tonight. After feeling once again that relationship with food is unmanageable....I am researching what it means to be abstinent. I am praying that Father (or some people call him Papa ;) will teach me what MY abstinence plans needs to be.

 Kassidy wrote us a letter on this ginormous leaf!!!! :) 

 And THIS is so true.