About six months ago...

 I decided I wanted to see a Dr. about skin removal surgery from my weight loss. 

My buddy Becci came with me.

She and I are "selfie girls". 

I assumed insurance wouldn't cover this surgery but I had a little nagging to just go in and get an opinion. After six kids and weight loss I am really annoyed at my skin. I don't care about the looks of it near as much as I care about the "feel" of it. It is a burden to me most of the time in ways I won't burden you with sharing! :)

Talk about an embarrassing exam. The Dr. said by the way I sat up he believed my abdomen muscles were torn or split or something like that. They aren't working right. Do you think that is why I literally can't jump up in the air? When I try to work out I cannot jump. What is up? Am I still too heavy?

There are also some other things the Dr felt were worth fixing. I won't be getting a boob job. There. now you all can relax and not wonder but there are some other things to fix.

The Dr. did not feel this was an elective surgery. He felt it was medically necessary but the time in which I choose to do it would be elective. 

Also, the Dr. didn't feel that I had to be perfectly skinny. He said I had to be stable. I am trying to not be hard on myself. I am trying to be stable. I am trying to lose the bit I gained.  I am trying to be stable and healthy and a good person and a good church member and a good mother and I can only do what I can do. I am trying.

Anyway, I found out last week (it took a while) that I WAS APPROVED by the insurance for the surgery.

What a blessing! I am scared and thankful. I am going to do it after this semester. It is a massive major surgery. But I am doing it. I want to be comfortable in my skin. Literally. It is a big surgery. 

Our Kassidy girl!

Christmas Day we got to talk to Kassidy for half an hour. She bawled the second she heard our voices. Apparently she couldn't see us. Then when we turned on the camera she bawled some more. She is really cute that way. 

She is doing well and happy although it is work and not games. We gave her a tour of the house and showed her her count down chart and the snow out side and the doll house etc...

Kate suddenly got upset and started crying because she misses Kassidy. Then it turned into hiding under the table and crying harder and then Kassidy cried and then Justine cried. I think it has got to be sad for her to lose both her sisters to their own lives. I don't want to even think of when Justine goes back to college. Kate is going to be a mess for a few days. 

I love this picture!

A little Christmas Eve. Santa (Corey) brought the kids each their OWN suirtable cheese whiz. They are sucking it STRAIGHT out of the can!!!! YUCK!!!!!!

Justine. What a nice girl. Why she hasn't had a million dates is beyond me. Bo informed us today that she is the one in the family who annoys him the most. I have no idea what his problem is! I honestly think he is trying to cut apron springs and loving a big sister is too much for him and him trying to be boyish. It's the only thing I can think of. 

That didn't stop him from begging her to sleep with him. So she squeezed into his twin bed for a night. Bo has the worst mattress in the house (he likes it!) so I am sure it wasn't a restful night. 

He also spent some time painting with her. Justine  believes she is completely creative and uncrafty. But she is always the one looking for projects. She has painted some very cute canvases with things from Pinterest and she is now working on a beading project. 

Justine REALLY enjoyed this nutrition class she took and because forest rangery is a close tie but not quite as high on her list (she didn't love her science class) she may go into dietitianing. I don't know what the proper name is. I think that would be a great idea.

Christmas Eve

I made our families traditional clam chowder for dinner. It has a pound of bacon and almost a pound of butter. It is delicious. And we only can have it once a year.

Kate had me write a note to Santa. And he ate the cookies and drank the milk and wrote her back. She is the only believer left in our family. Bo asked and asked for the truth and Corey told him. I think he's too young! But I admit I love it when the gig is up. I find it stressful to put on a facade of Santa and the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. It was fun for my first 10 years of mothering but now I'm good. 

For Christmas I gave Kate my doll house from when I was a little girl. My dad made it for me. I got all these barbies and some of the furniture from the thrift store. I told everyone I was going to wrap it and everyone told me not to and I did anyway. Christmas morning the kids told her it was hers. She wouldn't believe them. She told me "It's a family gift, huh, mom!?" I told her it was hers! She felt very special I think to have the biggest present. (I had talked to Bo about it and he knew it was just a doll house and that I had gotten him other special stuff so he didn't seem to mind.)

 

For anyone who knows Kassidy will understand how exciting it was that Santa found this Thor doll and put it in her sock for when she returns. We showed it to her on Skype. She wants me to mail it to her....Um let me think about it...no.

Why, yes I have been eating non stop. It's ridiculous. Today I woke up and said I am going to exercise TWICE and not eat crap. I woke up....saw my chocolate covered cherries...and that was that. 

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristopher told me...I AM CAPABLE. 

More blogging tomorrow! I have quiet books to make. 

What would you buy with a gift card to amazon?

Merry Christmas! We had a good day. We got to talk with Kassidy and open presents and eat way too much which I totally regret. 

Corey gave me the best gift ever. $50 dollars to Amazon. I bought six books for like a penny or a tiny bit more (plus shipping) and a ring. It was so fun. Ordering books for a penny on Amazon is like my favorite thing to do. I learned long time ago that I love books that are about real live people. I enjoy novels occasionally but they are typically not the first book I go to. 

I bought a book on a woman with schizophrenia, a book about twins, one had schizophrenia and one became a psychologist, a book about a mom raising a girl with anorexia, and a book about in real life young girl's who got pregnant without being married were sent away to have their babies and place them up for adoption, and a book about a woman who had become a woman by having a sex change, and a book about the most commonly asked questions in therapy and their answers.  

Do these sound strange to anyone else? I just find people and their lives fascinating. Justine made a comment "Are you actually going to read these?" I laughed at her little wise crack. I admit....my night stand has a very (two) tall stack of books waiting to be read. I am always working on one or two but I don't actually devour books. But I do get to them.

I have ALWAYS loved rings. One of my happiest things about losing weight was having thinner hands again. And now I feel happy to wear rings again. I bite my nails, I totally have old hands, but I love rings. So I got one on Amazon on a good sale and I used my gift card for all of these things. 

Kind of interesting, huh?! I thought the gift card was a great idea of Corey's. 

So that is all about Christmas for now. 

Here are pictures of the amazing craft project that cost too much, didn't turn out that great, was way too much chaos to make and still some fun. 

SNOW GLOBES!

We got nick knacks from thrift store and dollar store.

So these little fuzzy Santas I got off this hideous arrangement from the thrift store. but they had like five of these funny little gnome-like Santas. I saw some globes that had no water in them and they just looked like little winter terrariums. I thought they were super cute. So I did mine just like that. 

Nathan and Bo took the pokers from the greenery from the hideous arrangement and made all their little figurines have swords. INCLUDING THE ANGELS! Boys!

Merry Christmas for now!