Warning...My comma usage in this post is likely under used..... I just don't get it.

A few weeks ago a friend I admire and love tons mentioned something about "self talk". I was like "huh"? And she had me watch a u tube video on it. I don't why but I dismissed it as kind of weird.

I think maybe Heavenly Father wanted me to know something about it because shortly after watching the you tube video I talked with a man who recommended I do some "self talk". He didn't call it "self talk" and I didn't realize at the time that it was "self talk".

and then I read his book that involves telling yourself "peaceful" (my word), positive things which is "self talk". Whoooo knew?

Then...shortly after that... I attended a meeting that spoke about negative "self talk".

Is "self talk" a new concept in regards to....self? Or have I been slow on the uptake all these years....Do all of you already know about "self talk"? Is it a common term?

So.....from reading Kristopher's book and some of his suggested self talk....I realized I have been doing a little self talk for years!!!! I'm cool that way. Remember I loved Hugh Jackman before he was cool. And Glenn. Loved him before he became cool too.

Soo, it should be no surprise that I was self talking before it became cool. I have said (this is one of Kris's suggested "self talks") "It is was it is" to soothe my soul during difficult situations for eva!!!!

And I tell myself and my kids at least once a day....."I can't control everything!!!!" And I usually say that one a little loud, hence all the explanation points.

So that is self talk. And that "It is what is it is" mantra has brought mega gobs of peace. I feel like I invented that one! I can literally feel myself calm down after saying "I can't control everything" or "I am okay". So I guess I am a believer of "self talk". Should I quit using quotations now?

I do remember years and years ago Dr. Phil talked about how if you say something bad about yourself you have 8 seconds to "take it back" before your brain absorbs it.

That has stuck to me like GLUE. And I am telling you if I EVER hear my kids say one single negative thing about themselves (like "oh, I am so stupid") I about have a shock attack. And I freak out a bit about that. It just makes me cringeeeee!!!!!!!

So I guess that all really is self talk. But for some reason....I haven't let it apply to me lately.

My self talk has been sad and bad. And some more sad. Annnnd.....some more bad. And sad. Sad, bad, and mad.

NEVER would I tolerate my children's selves telling themselves the things myself has been telling itself. Did you follow that?

It makes me happy that I have found some help with my yucky self talk. I am still in the process of applying it but I thought I might share because it is great and powerful information.

Have any of you read Man's Search for Meaning Viktor E. Frankl? It is about a man who survived several concentration camps and still found meaning in life. It is about managing to find happiness even in sorrow and through whatever struggles life brings you. Because life is going to bring you struggle no matter what.

And if you can learn to find peace in whatever situation.... or learn to "increase your frustration level" as Kris has said then you will be able to be happy. That is the plan anyway.

So...here is the low down....Your brain has something in it called  Neuroplasticity. And it is way more complex than I care to try to accurately describe but somehow you can change the neuroplasticity in your brain. So if you are struggling or in despair about something (loss, trauma, heartache, low self esteem, not being able to achieve certain goals) then you "self talk" to yourself and you can change the neuroplasticity in your brain and change, or learn to cope, or learn to better, healthier, deal with frustrations, or loss, or all of the other struggles life throws at you.

So I mentioned Kristopher is the author of the "Navigating Your Mind" book. He's super nice and smart. And nice. And smart.

And he has given me the assignment of positive self talking to myself everyday to help me better cope with some of life's challenges. It is suppose to take three weeks of good self talk for your neuroplacites to change. (Unless I completely messed up understanding that chapter. But I think I got it okay)

Here's his website if you need a book. He doesn't look like that picture to me at all. I think the book is valuable. I really, really do. He didn't ask me to plug his book. I thought I should do it all on my own. Because maybe someone else out there could use his ideas.

I get to go away over night for tomorrow. SQUEAL!!!!!! That never happens. My friends and I are going to a concert. I am more excited about the drive down and back. HOURS of talking with girls????? Wahoo! In case you care, Kristopher says girls should go hang out with the girls....

wait for it....

wait for it.....

ONE TIME A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can. you. even. imagine? I am all over that, baby!