guilt vs. remorse

Today I learned a little lesson about guilt vs. remorse from a guy named Joel. We were discussing how I have left guilt behind (mostly). Obviously, I realize at this moment it isn't true because of the guilt I do feel leaving my kids to do school and a possible career. But in the moment of the conversation I said that I left guilt behind.

When I checked codependency at the door I left guilt behind with it. It is beautiful freedom. It is still a struggle, to keep everything in proper balance. Empathy without codependency, righteousness without guilt, responsibility without guilt. But in leaving guilt behind (mostly) I feel like I lost some of my caring and feelings. In order to detach myself from the feelings of guilt, I had to quit caring so much. Joel told me it is about finding a balance. And that it takes work. And that if I come closer to the direction of Father in Heaven I will find some of that feeling again. I think I quit feeling so much because I didn't know how to give up codependency and guilt without giving up feeling "stuff".

Joel said that he believed in words. And that guilt and remorse were about semantics. Guilt is someone holding their thumb on you and trying to control you. Remorse is coming to God and saying your sorry and you want to change. As Joel was explaining it I really could feel the difference between the two words. I have done A LOT of stuff out of guilt. Joel said I have done guilt my whole entire life and it is heartbreakingly true. But after I left guilt  behind (mostly), I also left some other important things I "should" be doing behind. Because I got tired of doing things out of "guilt". I don't want to do another thing in my whole life out of guilt again.

But to think about doing things because of remorse...coming to Father and saying I'm sorry and want to do better? There is beauty in that. It feels like it is in MY power. I get to choose if I care or not. And empowerment is really quite very important. I never knew. Joel said guilt is someone holding a thumb on you. Force. Remorse is going to Father. Choice, humility.

Learning things every dang day.