Oh yes I did, and yes I am!!!!!!!

I looked at this dumb sweater for an HOUR!!!!! And I couldn't leave with out it.

So don't be surprised if you see me in it.

Yes, my girls think it's weird.

I can't help it! And it is so warm and cozy. And I have no clothes!

lots of stuff!

We heat our house with our fire place. On Sundays I like to sit at my lap top and turn my blog into a book (which is a miserable process) and watch this police show called Flashpoint. Because we heat with our fire place a lot of the time it isn't worth starting a fire for just a little chill. So I freeze. A lot. When I get home from church I put on my pajamas and sit around all day. It is heavenly. I have to wear long john tops and bottoms, then pajamas tops and bottoms and wool socks so I don't freeze. And those seat warmers in that little car we bought is still such a GIFT. I love them so so so much. I turn the air cold and then warm my seat and back and it is awesome.

I have so much blogging I am not getting done.

So Kassidy has been trying to win her and me (I don't that's proper English) a trip to New Zealand (isn't that so sweet her) to see the Hobbit being filmed. She has been working her hear at filming crazy things that are fairly hysterical to me.

She and her brother walked around like this. Did I blog this already? Weirdos!

Rhett turned 12. Here is his breakfast with dad. Sweet tradition.

And here is the cake I made for him. For his birthday I took him and a few friends to play and out for hamburgers. One more birthday party down. To anyone who cares I think it was my best choice ever to not let them have a birthday part every year. They get one every other year. It is really nice as far as less pressure for me!

 

The frosting made everyone's tongues black! Have I mentioned we love our new Grandpa Dale?

And I loved that my mom in law brought us home made pizza for Rhett's little family celebration.

 So sweet. 

Justine is truly obsessed with her One Direction boys. It is all she talks about. She has like 10,000 pins on Pinterest. She wears all her shirts depending on what coordinates somehow with the One Direction boys. It's cute. And maybe a bit much.

Here is the complete and honest summary of my therapy. And...Kristopher is now use to it. I thought it was pretty funny.

 So last session he told me something that I thought was pretty smart. He told me that he tells his kids if he does something stupid in regards to parenting them that they can tell him. He wants to know. And he said they do tell him. And then he says sorry. And then it is over and done with and it is not baggage they are carrying around with them forever. I thought that was so very smart! I'm going to tell it to my kiddies.

My fun friend Christina started this tradition for us and my group of friends. It is Amazing race home style. I think we have done it for like four years.

This race we lost...again. But we still had so much fun.

Our first stop we had to eat a whole pizza before we could go to the next challenge.

 Despite my calories counting I ate a piece. I am a great sport that way. The sad thing was after we drove away there were all the pizza crusts under our van that we had ditched. Busted.

 Next stop we had to pick a box of apples...

Linda!

And then we lost and did 't get to do any more challenges. :( Bummer. But it is still a fun try. Thanks Christina!

Don't give me that knowing look!

Here is a little thing I am learning about going back to school.

My friend Becci taught me it.

My friend Deann actually helped me learn it.

And my friend Linda and I decided to surrender to it I believe.

And Newell (my younger coworker who has become such a friend to me) believes it too, and was told so by a teacher he had when he was in culinary school.

When you are a mom of kids at home, and/or a working person, and a wife, and a homemaker (at this point only sort of) and a dog trainer,....sometimes....getting straight A's isn't the very most important thing.

AS MUCH AS YOU WANT IT TO BE BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO GIVE THINGS YOUR ALL.

But you can't. And you just have to accept that being a mom and all these other responsibilities come first. And that it wasn't like the first time you went to school when you only had to worry about school and boys.

So today I got a B- on my first test in Social Work. Stinks but I'm okay with it. I'd have liked to done better but I didn't have a ton of time to commit to it. (The online class consumes so much time!!!!)

So it is what it is.

And GUESS WHAT?????

The coolest thing ever. When you are going to the school's testing center..you can go left to the quiet room, or RIGHT to the CLASSICAL MUSIC ROOM!!!!!!!!!

I have never really cared about classical music but I was SO going into that room. I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked it in there. I am going in there every time.

The "kids" at the school are so stinkin' nice. They hold the door for me (cause I an old lady!) and are just sweet. It is a great atmosphere.

So I have it in my head that maybe...just maybe...the kids at the college don't know I am an old lady. But then....another old lady (who was probably younger than me) saw me and gave me a knowing smile and look that said "I'm an old lady too". I was like WHAAAAAT????? ARE YOU NODDING AND LOOKING KNOWINGLY AT ME????????? CAUSE I don't know who you are nodding at but I still look like the rest of these kids, thank you very much! :(

Rhett just told me that Greyson's mom is AWESOME because she bought double stuffed cheese crust pizza!!!!! That's all it takes I guess! Good to know.

Ok. So do you guys ever "Catastrophasize"? I do all of the time. And Kristopher calls me on it. I think it is important to call yourself on catasrophasizing. To recognize you are doing it and to keep things in perspective.

Our dog is so smart he's STUPID!

For reals. I knew this breed was not going to go well. Maybe it has nothing to do with breed. But he is not just some dopy Labrador. He is constantly having to be reminded that HE IS NOT IN CHARGE. And he bites! Just now he would not come to me and he was hiding under the bed. I pulled him out and he acted all freaked out and tried to bit me.

So I had to "dead dog" him. Which he thinks is ABSOLUTE ABUSE! When I worked for a veterinarian she use to dead dog the dogs. Basically you hold them down on their backs and they fight and fight you if they are IDIOTS like our dog is. Then they hopefully surrender and learn you are in charge. So our dog tried to bite me and pees all over me before he finally surrenders and realizes I am in charge. GRR.

I am a college student! I don't have time to deal with this dog.

About him being smart...he totally knows tricks. Like he does tricks like it is just no big deal. Sit, shake, lay, "no" stop chewing everything up.

I don't know about him though. He's cute and we like him but he is a dog that needs constant  readjusting.

I am too busy to blog. It breaks my heart but I am always doing homework. School has been good for me. I am enjoying the challenge.

I have the craziest kid. She is trying to win us (yes she said she'd bring me, sweet little lovey) a trip to New Zealand that has something to do with The Hobbit. She is trying to do a 60 minute clip that is about The Hobbit to win.

She is seriously BUSTING me up with her silliness and creativity. This is her dressed like Bilbo. HILARIOUS. And then she got her brother to dress up as something that has to do with a bear turning into something but I have no idea.

Self Care Rocks!

Kristopher wants me to do empowering things. He wants me to have some life experiences that mix up my brain a bit.

My friend wanted to go zip lining. I was like..."I'll go."

I AM TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS.

But I know I have to be pushing myself.

So today was the day to go. It was SO FUN. And scary but not TERRIFYING. I could handle it! Yay.

We got to go like 6 times. Just driving to the zip lining site was already an adventure. We climbed into the back of an army truck by using a ladder just shoved against the truck. We almost died by the way of freezing to death in the back of the truck. We were like....what did we get in to!, as we were being jostled and frozen to death in the back of the truck.

When we got there and the guy was explaining the details to us he said when you are harnessed and ready to go "you PLUNGE yourself off the side of the canyon." We busted up all day over that.

We did a lot of unexpected hiking up to the zip line sites but it was great.

Me doing my "power stance" in my zip linings out fit!

Becci in her "power stance".

Collin, our sweet helper...

Milan, the other helper

Okay... this crazy thing.

Milan decided I had to be first. He actually told me that he wanted me to go first because I screamed a lot and even though it was scary it was good for me. I was a bit amused because it was such a "Kristopher" line.

They hooked me up. I was so scared I just stood there while the two guys did all the adjusting and hooking. I said it couldn't be that bad because they didn't make me wear a helmet.

He said...."oh, a helmet won't do you any good. If you fall you will just be dead."

Thanks.

Then they got on a four wheeler and drove and I rose up into the air. I was SO HIGH and just sitting there in the air. I was SHAKING. They told me to pull a cord and I instantly free fell and then swung and swung. And I screamed and screamed. It was terrifying. I kept saying, ok you can stop me now. But they couldn't. There wasn't a way. So I just swung.

When it was done I was shaking so hard I couldn't even take care of myself and get unhooked. But I was SO PROUD!

I feel so happy I lost weight. I am no longer trapped and I can do fun things now.

Afterwards Becci and I went to lunch and even a movie. It's called "Self Care". We both learned about it in social work class.

Wahoo for Self Care!

a new driver and stand like wonder woman!

In my social work class we talked about how you handle the pressure of having hurting people need you and how do you not take it home with you or get to absorbed in it.

It was a really really great class. The teacher use to be a therapist and he shared a few little stories with us and it was interesting.

He said this profession attracts people who have had problems to do this profession.

And he said, "that is all of us."

And he said a church leader said, "They are us, and we are them."

I liked it.

And he said that total healing is not possible without the Atonement (I go to a church college , :) ). That therapists and counselors can not fix it all.

And that in Social Work you may not be able to talk about the Atonement but you can always talk about hope and faith because everyone needs that.

The teacher said "When you work with people who are in pain it is going to be painful."

Interesting stuff.

Justine FINALLY got her drivers licence. She kept insisting she was going to fail. I kept telling her "power stance it, girl!" She thinks I am crazy.

But she gets so negative in her thinking. Wonder where she gets that!

Power stancing is when you stand all powerful with your hands on your hips, legs spread a little. Or you could stand like a football player. Something that is powerful. There are real live studies that by doing that your brain chemical change for good. I can't remember all the details now. But power stancing is good for you.

So after all her worry she passed both tests first time. She is so silly. I am so relieved to have that done with. She is almost 18 and we really needed her driving. Now we are prepping for her senior pictures.

Here is my drivers licence picture. Its shocking to me. Owiee. It hurts to look at.

 

Get mentally tough!

Holy yowza! I made it through the first few weeks of school. The one class at the college is proving to be very little work. It might be more though when it comes to taking a test.

I haven't had anymore melt downs over school. I am holding it together and not all freaked out anymore. I might over react a bit. Just sayin'. That wouldn't be new news.

The online class is SO much work. But I really like it. A lot. I have taken a two quizzes and a test. It is SO annoying when you had the right answer and then second guessed yourself and changed you answer! And was wrong. I received an A and B on the quiz and a B on the test. All open book. SO annoying!!!! I wanted all A's!!!!!!! But I did it all the very best I could so I guess that is the way it works!

Speaking of over reacting....I have to address that topic here in a minute.

But first, the other day Kate broke a little vase that Bo had painted for me. She told me. I made the HUGE mistake of telling her just to hide (*hangs head in shame* yes I did.) it and don't tell him.

He freaks out sometimes! And I didn't want to deal with it.

So she goes and tells him instantly "Bo, I broke the vase you made mom. "

And the heavens parted and angels were singing and he said "That's okay. Accidents happen."

And I almost died right then and there. Crazy! And cute! He is a doll. And so is Kate. She is getting easier by the week.

So one of the things that Kristopher helps me with that I thought I should share is this...

Because I really battle with controlling my own thoughts, (have forever) he has told me more than once that I need to force myself to be rational.

And I said...."But I feel...."

and he cut me off. With more of his words of wisdom.

And I said..."But I feel...." and he cut me off. with. more. words. of. wisdom.

Because "feelings" deserve less attention.

How do I make that make sense.... How you feel is important and it is important to have those feeling validated.

But we shouldn't put so much emphasis on our feelings that they are controlling our lives. Which happens to me.

So when I come to Kristopher feeling things that are not warranted he will tell me to push against those feelings and force reality in.

I really, really like that. I like the visual it gives me of PUSHING reality in and the other thoughts out.

He recommended this book.

Not because of anything it had to do with losing weight. But because of the great "thinking" the book teaches you. Kristopher is ALL about controlling your thinking.

So let me just give you a few words from the book.

"Fit people pay the price of discipline and fat people pay the price of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."

"If you want to become thin and healthy, you will pay a price. You will sacrifice and call on every ounce of willpower you have. If you let your guard down you'll be fat again. If you don't you wont."

This book is all about getting mentally tough.

I like it! I do!

One thing I really liked about it is how it addresses fear. Kristopher has talked a ton about facing your fear. About not running from it.

The quote in the book says "Middle-class thinking (the author calls middle class people basically those who are just letting their thinking control them) attached fear to everything.."

and what he says about the "World class thinkers" is "Since fear based thinking rarely enters their minds, they immediately begin moving forward like a locomotive thundering down the track devoid of the psychological interference that plaque most people."

"The two primary emotions are love and fear. Love is rooted in abundance while fear is rooted in scarcity. Middle-class thinkers are terrified they are going to fail. World-class thinkers just can't wait to cross the finish line and get the trophy. Once you take control of these two emotions everything begins to fall into place, because they both set up a self-fulfilling prophecy. You wither choose to operate out of love and win, or you choose to operate out of fear and lose. Either way, the choice is yours."

It is full of good stuff so far. It is interesting to me how Kristopher is always saying to face your fears because then they go away and this book talks about how "World-class thinkers" are not sitting around worried about their fears all the time.

Good stuff.