Ready for it.....?
There is no COTTON PICKIN' ANSWER, Dang it!
I read the entire book. I ran all the ideas past Bo's doctor. He answered my questions with contradictory answers that he firmly believes.
The Dr. who wrote the book firmly believes his answers.
Bo's Dr. recommended four more books.
I have one another book already waiting for me on my night stand. That is actually due back at the library this very second! Ack!
The "ADD The Answer" book says that if you have ADD in your life you must read and become an expert on ADD. That is what I am aiming for.
But for now... I have no answer. It is an extremely confusing, millions of different opinions, topic. I don't know what to do.
Here is how Bo spent the majority of his jujitsu class....
Sitting on the side line , for poor behavior, waiting to be invited back in to train. But the poor behavior is honestly impossible for him to control. At one point Bo just started crying and said he wanted to go home. It made me think about the part in the book that says kids with ADD have a lot of negatives going on in their life. He is just being his normal little self and it is negative. And I am not blaming the jujitsu instructor. He is teaching. He can't have so much disruption. Plus he is trying to teach Bo. But why does it have to be so hard for my little guy?And one thing I did think hard about is how I kept saying if Bo was going to be in so much trouble at school then I would just home school him so he wouldn't have failure all the time. But what about when he goes to church class. Or jujitsu, or to a birthday party. He has to be able to to control himself.
Bo's neurology Dr is an advocate of medicine. He says the front part of your brain is missing some chemicals or something that is controlled by medicine. So as much as Bo tries, he can't fix himself. And he disputes the other ideas in the book such as vitamins, fish oil, magnets, nutrition and such as a fix for ADD.
Which you all might be interested to know is now NEVER called ADD anymore. It is only called ADHD. Even if they don't have the hyperactive part. Still ADHD. Because the H means other things now too.
I know that because I am in ADHD training to become an ADHD Jedi master!
It is all just so much! And I don't know as though I have been given any huge inspirations on the subject. I am just trying to sort it all out.
BIG FAT "OH WELL"!!!!!
So....because I cannot stand how cute Bo is in his Gi, here are some more glorious pictures of him when he was not in time out.
Totally love his instructor.
Learning all the moves...Corey and I went and saw this great movie called Warriors. It had some actors that were up and coming. And one of my fav....Nick Nolte. I like his goofy self! But the movie was about mixed martial arts and it was super cool. And it had a interesting story line. I may or may not agree with the ending. I need someone to discuss the ending with. (It does have a few bad word in it though)
Playing partner tag...
Love it!
After a while of Bo's poor behavior and several time outs the instructor finally just cradled him and demonstrated the moves on him. Bo really loved that. I think it somehow centers him. I know in his old kindergarten he would sit still during circle time when he had a heavy large bean bag on him. Interesting, huh? The weight or the constriction helps somehow.
After it was over he told the instructor "I want a hug." And the sweetie instructor said "I want a hug too." I thought that was so gentle and loving. And then Bo gave him a kiss as well.
I don't want him suffering so much. I don't want him in trouble all the time. I want him to be able to be the good little boy he is. I don't want him set up for this CONSTANT failure.
Playing partner tag...
Love it!
After a while of Bo's poor behavior and several time outs the instructor finally just cradled him and demonstrated the moves on him. Bo really loved that. I think it somehow centers him. I know in his old kindergarten he would sit still during circle time when he had a heavy large bean bag on him. Interesting, huh? The weight or the constriction helps somehow.
After it was over he told the instructor "I want a hug." And the sweetie instructor said "I want a hug too." I thought that was so gentle and loving. And then Bo gave him a kiss as well.
I don't want him suffering so much. I don't want him in trouble all the time. I want him to be able to be the good little boy he is. I don't want him set up for this CONSTANT failure.
If you just knew him you would be able to see he is actually one of the most loving and sweet boys around.
ADHD can go where the sun don't shine. Opps. I didn't mean to say that out loud.
ADHD can go where the sun don't shine. Opps. I didn't mean to say that out loud.
Except then I think about how ADHD is part of my kids. It is part of them. And then I have to love it a bit. Because I love them. And all that makes them...them. Dear ADHD, Can we be friends? Can you be more gentle on us and I will be more gentle on you when I am condemning you on my blog. Deal?
3 comments:
I feel you pain....
When I worked with kids as an IBI, we were trained to use weighted vests for kids that had a hard time holding still. I know they were expensive, which is why our company didn't have any, but if you could find one and have him wear it for structured activities it might help. I would just walk up behind my students in school and put my hands on their shoulders and apply a little pressure. Most of the time, they didn't even notice me there, but I noticed a difference.
Jill said... The weight stuff is true stuff. We've done it with Mason. They have weighted vests. The school should pay for it if it is part of his needs for better behavior. We have our own struggles (you know what they are), but I hear ya on the "there is no answer." Really, it is "here are some ideas on how to live with it and cope."
Jill said... We do a weighted glove with Mason for his handwriting. They tried a lap weight but it was too distracting. For bed, Mason likes to pile on the blankets. But then he gets too hot. So I'm in the process of making a heavy jean quilt.
Mary said...Bless his sweet little soul...hope you get the guidance you need:) I spent the day with Nick N. about 40 yrs. ago, strange then...stranger, now?!O
Mary said...wish I had a magic wand for all these wonderful children....I send my love
Kim said...Susan, I love the photo from behind of him waiting to get back into the action - it speaks volumes (broke my heart a little). When I read the part about him wanting a hug and the instructor saying he did too - totally choked me up. Beautiful writing. Bo is going to find his way because he has your amazing support. Thanks so much for sharing!
Linda said...Bo is a sweetie. And so are you. That was sweet and heart wrenching. He's going to be okay because he has you with all your determination to help him succeed. Love ya. Hugs. Where's that secret tunnel when I really need it?
Nancy said...Oh, this makes me sad. All the struggles. Grandma loves all the kids and prays for some relieve for them and you! No one seems to know the answer. They will do well because you are their mom!!!!
Tiffany P.said...You are an awesome parent!!! No one book, no one doctor is going to have the answers but a parent who educates themselves and knows their own child will go far. Take what feels right for you and Bo from the books you read and the so called experts you talk to. Each child, person is unique. I love Bo's instructor!!! I think this is good for him. He is young and he will learn. He sat out so nicely:) Yes he was in trouble but he regulated himself during timeout. And good for you for not taking him home. It is great the instructor will give him a hug. Deep pressure is what Bo craves and sounds like he needs to center himself. Yes there are lots of different weighted items he could use. Hugs are also good:)
Kirsten said...We love BO! Go BO! Go BO! He is a sweetie little pie. Love him. You get to pick what is best for him, and then ask Father in Heaven if it is the best right now. He'll tell you if you are on track. ♥
Michelle said...All I can say after reading that is: I love you. All of this sucks beyond all sucking (see? I can be un-lady like too!) I have been there. And there are no "pat" answers~ because every child is different, every "trigger" of their symptoms is different...and if I've learned ANYthing through all my struggles with this is that there is no way humanly possible to navigate this without the Spirit~ God is the only one who knows exactly what Bo needs, and you and Corey are the only ones who have the stewardship over him that entitles you access to that knowledge. So relax, breathe and pray~ let all the other voices just fade in the background and listen for that "one clear voice" (have you ever heard that Peter Cetera song? I need to find it for you....it helps me remember :) ) ((((((((((((((huge hugs)))))))))))))) You can do this~ you were called to do this and you will be qualified to do this ♥ I may show up on your doorstep soon just to give Bo a great big hug for no apparent reason~ and then I'll give you one, too ;)
Michelle said... Oh! you know~ there is something to that "weight" thing~ it really helped with mine to put my hands gently on his shoulders when I was talking to him~ and the love aspect is always a huge centering thing~ that teacher is a DOLL!
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