A soft answer....

When Kassidy was a girl she would come home every day from the 4th grade...wailing.

She was suffering so, from bullying. I was on my way to homeschooling her (something I would do in a HEART BEAT now) when I began working with a group of people, some whom are now my best friends to this day, to start a charter school. It is based on a method that teaches, preaches, and… brainwashes if you will,…kindness.

We haven’t HAD A PROBLEM since. It was a miracle cure. We had miracle teachers. We had a miracle method.

When Kassidy use to come home from school so broken hearted, she would behave nasty. Because I was young and inadequate I would react to her nastiness, with nastiness. And it wasn’t fun. And it was painful. And it was volatile.

We started going to a counselor. I learned something that was LIFE ALTERING. (Thank you, Jennifer)

Validation.

When she came home and would have a fiery frenzy of feistiness,

if I would just say to her, “You must have had a really bad day” or “this must be really painful for you” or “that must have really hurt your feelings”,

she would dissolve into a puddle of soft heartedness MUSH. And I would be able to scrape up her runny remains and… love her.

instead… of being nasty to her. Changed our whole little future.

One time I read an article in our church magazine about a little boy who was following his momma around in the kitchen. He was telling her about a little problem he had. She was busy and he just kept repeating himself.

Finally, she looked at him frustrated, and said “What do you want me to do about it?” He said…

”You could say ‘oh’.”

He wanted validation.

In his little words he taught her how important some validation is.

“You could say 'oh'." Breaks my heart for all the times I have been too busy for my kids.

I had someone validate heartache for me this week.

And I am telling you from the bottom of my being,

I have kept that validation wrapped up in my heart where it can penetrate straight to my soul. I have laid that validation under my pillow at night and received comfort and solace from it. I have reenacted that validation in my head again and again, receiving the same comfort and peace… over. and. over. and. over.

I hope I never let it go. It is my best friend right now.

I am grateful for peace when it comes. Grateful for love which always abounds. Grateful for guidance, which is there when you seek enough. Grateful for wisdomy people who are trained,… and those who are not. Grateful for someone saying “that must have really been painful for you” or something similar, which I won’t share because I want to keep it all for myself. Grateful for learning experiences. But oh, how they hurt.

My blog has been very disobedient. So much to post but it won’t behave. Wah. And I hope you all will always forgive my bad grammar. I swear I have no idea where to put commas. And I totally wing it. And it is most always wrong. And remember how I was going to turn my blog into a book for my family? I had spent about 100 hours on it literally…Gone. Lap top died. And it is gone. Thankfully I can redo it but, bummer. And you know how I just told you my lap top died? One day around the dinner table when I am a little old grammy, one of my kids is going to confess they actually dropped it during a temper tantrum. But for now it’s brokenness remains a mystery.

The roads are still safe, I promise.

Justine is just a crack up. She DID NOT WANT TO LEARN TO DRIVE. At all. Justine could have already been driving by now but was too nervous. So I was so grateful when my good buddy had a daughter taking drivers ed and wanted Justine to join along as well.

I never had to take Drivers Ed. It wasn't required. My mom taught me in our church parking lot. It makes me crack up just thinking about it. I had to learn on a stick. Let's just say it was a bit of a jerky ride. For about two weeks. But now I can drive a stick like a pro. My mom was always patient I might add.

When my dad took me to get my drivers licence I remember being so upset because a brake light was out and I thought I would have to come back another day for my licence. But there was a mechanic close by and we were able to get it fixed right away. That was nice of my dad. I remember. Then during my test I stalled two times before I could even get going. The lovely drivers test guy said all gruff "You're going to have to do better than that!". Nice. But I passed.

Is it just written somewhere in the code of the universe that anyone pertaining to drivers licences have to be mean?

Justine also was so nervous about the written drivers education test. She thought she had failed the whole back page. She got 99 percent. Ha! (She's a smartie. I try not to brag but that girl got straight A's last semester! First time ever. Big accomplishment. So proud of her.) The only one she got wrong was because she put the decimal in the wrong place. But she knew the answer in her head.

Here she is with her drivers ed teacher Sherri. Nicest adorablest drivers teacher ever. Sherri said she had originally been worried about Justine because she knew how nervous she was. But that she was surprised at how well she did.

Justine was SO mad at me for taking a picture of her driving our van for the first time. But a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do. Right? Now Justine keeps forgetting to bring her permit so she won't have to drive. Silly!




Love that girl!

Kids these days!

Sometimes the Internet can be so motivating. I saw this cool idea on it and decided that our family should start a new project. I'll post about the details in a few days.

So I am writing up a chart on massive poster board. Is it even worth doing if I can't make a fancy chart?

Rhett, whom is just such a fun kid (when he is being fun) came up to me to see what I was doing.

I do believe he is a typical kid in our society. Should I laugh or should I cry?

He says to me..."What's this for?"

Me..."100 Random acts of Kindness....You in?"

Him..."What do I get?"

Me..."A good feeling inside"

Him..."nah"

*walks away*

Lol.

Gotta love it! Makes me remember I just have to keep on teachin' and preachin' to them! ;)

Revealing the oven! Ta da! My blog is so weird sometimes! No spell check, no control over huge spacing...sorry!

Some of you regular followers might remember this post of me teasing you with glorious wood and the project I was going to make.... (almost exactly one year ago!!!) I didn't get it quite done on time for Kate's birthday in 2011. But 2012...Well that is a whole new story!

My dreams of Kate opening her cookies and being able to pop them straight into the play oven did not come true.

I worked really hard this last week. I helped a bunch with a Valentine's fundraiser, that earned our little charter school 9,000.00! Whew! it was so much fun and so much work. I could barely walk the next day. We held a dinner and auction. It was great fun.

I also struggled to find time to finish the oven and make two fancy birthday cakes! All in a few days time.

So I finally was applying the hardware to the oven just a few hours before family came to watch Kate and Justine open their birthday presents. And..to my huge bummer....the hinges wouldn't work.

I had previously told my dad...."NO MATTER WHAT I SAY, DO NOT HELP ME FINSIH THIS OVEN! I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ALL BY MYSELF!"

And I had almost the enitre thing finish. But those blasted hinges!

So...here he is.....finishing my oven.

Eventually he had to pack the thing up and take it home to use his special magic on it. Sheesh!

Good thing Uncle Frank was here to play pots and pans with Kate since her oven was gone. At one point Corey joked with Uncle Frank..."Can my daughter have her pots and pans back?" He is a good playmate. We love him for coming to all our parties even though sometimes he only does out of obligation. We appreciate it!

Here is the finished oven! She loves it! And I think it turned out so cute. Sorry for so many pictures of it.

It has a LIGHT!!!! So you can tell when it is cooking!!!!! *faints dead from cuteness overload*

The pots LIGHT up and make gurgling frying noises... *faints again*

I had great tortureous debate choosing the knobs. Do I choose realistic oven knobs? But I LOVED these crystal ones. Even though they cost a bit more... I just wanted this look so much.

Here was Kate's birthday cake. She wanted Clifford. Turned out nice I thought!

And Justine has been called big foot by her dad for many a year. So my friend, whom wanted to remain nameless, (THANK YOU my FRIEND!) made the bigfoot out of fondant and I did the rest of the cake. That big foot turned out so GREAT!!! Justine LOVED it.

Life is good.

Valentines

No Valentines day dinner this year. I have been a little crazy! I thought the kids wouldn't even notice but they did! :(

Today I got to go into Bo's kindergarten class and teach a craft. Such a treat. Bo was so happy to have me there. Sweet little group of kids.

I LOVE when the kids bring home their Valentines. And they dump them on the floor and scour through them. So fun.

Did you know that I have saved all my kids Valentines from every year? I don't save everything. I can easily throw things away and it's not a big deal. But I have it in my head that their little Valentines will be really interesting someday. Like little time capsules of what was popular that year. And I oh so love the little names written in kids lettering. And what if my child should marry one of their childhood classmates and I have the valentines? Too good not to keep!

I think I might have decided to save them after I saw my Father in Law's that were saved from when he was a little boy. They were old fashioned and the sweetest thing ever. Since I am not his child I doubt this will happen but if I could inherit something of his someday....it would be that sweet little package of Valentines.

Today I saw on FB someone wish everyone Happy Valentines Day. And they said it is for everyone who loves anyone. It doesn't even have to be your "Valentine". I liked that. Maybe if we spread the love a little more in that manner it won't be depressing to some people. One boy at the kid's school brought a red rose to every singe girl in his grade. HOW SWEET!

Rhett decided to build himself a log cabin for his Valentine box. I loved every minute of his hammering and constructing. I was a very proud mama. (Minus the scratches on my kitchen table!)

















He wrote me a Valentine at school. It was so sweet and probably a huge joke to a 10 year old boy, but after he got done telling me how nice I was, he said "You are so beautiful even when you do not have make up on but I do not care." and his friend helped him write "You are so beautiful that you look like an angel from heaven." HILARIOUS! I can just see the two of them cracking up over that. Also that I make "Scrumptious crouton cheese casseroles." Baahaa!

The one and a half year old oven is still in the works!

This just truly thrills my soul!

I love clamps and wood glue and wood and drilling and tools.

This is the door to the toy kitchen I have been working on for more than a year!!!!!

For all the time and effort it has taken by someone who only partially knows what they are doing.....I could have built a house!

But it is now coming along nicely and I can't wait for her to bake her Melissa and Doug wood cookies in it. She is getting that for her birthday. We are celebrating on Sat. So fun.

Something I have learned in this wood working experience....

When you think you will just nail a nail in or screw a screw in without predrilling, because it is a huge pain to switched the drill from the bit back to the screwdriver bit (or whatever it is called), just switch the bit and use the drill. It works so much nicer!!!!!

Oh...and here are the little burners for the top of the oven. Glitter anyone? I bought this glitter paint and it is nutso cool! super SHIMMERY!!!! Perfect for a little girls oven!

Khronicles of Kate.....NOT happy!

(Blogger is being SOOOOOO stupid. Or.... it could be me. But please ignore the super stupid long spaces of this post. And I can't get spell check to work!)

Anyways,

I thought I was done writing these! I even thought my blog has become a bit boring since Kate started behaving.

The other day she CUT up her shoes with scissors that I ONLY keep in a basket on the microwave. But I didn't Khronicle it, I let it slide.

And then...last night...

SHE GAVE HERSELF A MULLET.

She has chopped away her hair more times than I can count. After all the many chops there was still enough hair to hide the chops with her length. I am sure any one who check closely could see it was crazy, between gum in her hair and all he many hack jobs. But Justine was still able to do great and fancy hair dos on her. I wish I had some pictures. Justine was learning to do the CUTEST things ever with her hair!

A super long time ago when I was gone, Corey let her bangs be cut. I had been growing them out since birth. I hated those bangs...she has a cowlick smack in them middle of her forehead, helllllllooooo!.... They looked ridiculous. I have been growing them out for years. They had finally gotten so long!

Yesterday....she chopped them. And all the hair that was growing forward form the back of her head she chopped as well.

I think she got the bright idea when she saw me shaving Bo's head. She kept telling me she wanted her hair cut.

This is my buddy Linda. She has cut my little kids hair forever. Here she is with Bo! Isn't that hte cutest?

Well, when Kate did this recent damage to her hair, I knew Linda would give me the most comfort and help even though she hasn't been cutting hair for years.

So, sadly, we cut the back up inches and inches and evened out the mullet part and now in maybe 5 years her hair will look normal.

After Kate had cut her hair and she knew I was not happy (I didn't yell, YAY me) she kept telling me..."it will grow!" True. In forever.

By the way...Her shirt says..."Save the world. It is the only planet with puppies." Do you LOVE it or what?!!!

Here is the only thing I can now do with her hair unless we just leave it down...and mullety...

See the big chooped side patch?

Okay, so yesterday they sang happy birthday to her in church. Since I am working in the primary I got to watch. Since she has been in primary I have been enchanted by her cuteness. She really listens! Sort of. But compared to the three boys I had in a row....She loves to listen to the lessons and especially the singing time. And she will try really hard to do any hand movements the FABULOUS chorister is doing and everything. She always furrows her brow all serious. It is so CUTE.

Anyway, So since she is new this year to the primary (before becoming a "sunbeam" she was in nursery with the little ones) she doesn't quite know all that is going on. But they called her up to sing happy birthday to her. Normally you would just stand next to the FABULOUS chorister. But Kate had it in her head you stand at the microphone. So there she is perched there with her little arms folded accross the podium just waiting for the kids to start the song to her. Classic. When she says loudly into the microphone..."Bo! Be quiet!" Typical bossy sister! It cracked me up.

The week before....they were trying to get her to guess the world of a song. It was home. A teacher gave her a clue. Where do you live? She said..."Heaven." Bahaahah! Everyone laughed and looked at me. I just said, "I am that good." Meaning my home is a heaven on earth. Which is a crack up becasue my house is somplete and utter chaos. But it was funny.

The one sad thing that breaks my heart is Kate is very observant if we are annoyed at her. And sometimes I am becasue she is exhausinting with her businsess and non stop talking and her..I don't know...HAIR CUTTING...And she will ask me, "Do you like me?" or "Are you mad at me?" That KILLS me. Stabs my right in the heart. Deprives me opf chocolate for the rest of my life. Twsits my guts all around inside of me. :(

One more project out of the way....sort of!

I finally got the quote on Kassidy's jewelry cupboard. Yeah...it pretty much takes me weeks to get something accomplished. And I still have touch up work to do on the lettering. And It might take me a few more weeks to get that done. Such is life! I am not the best paint picker outer so I was glad when Kassidy gave her opinion and wanted this "cookie monster blue" for the lettering. It's is perfect for a teenager's room!


Why does everything look better on pinterest? Oh, well. I actually quite like itand thanks to the advice from a friend name Sasha, it went very smooth!



So you lay down the vinyl lettering stencil. I had to eyeball and measure with a mini level, at the same time, to get the letters on straight. It was mostly successful. But hard.


Paint in the letters, pull off the vinyl lettering and ..tada!

I wrote Kassidy a note about why I loved the quote she picked out. It was by Albus Dumbledore. It is a great quote when you really think about it!