Having Kassidy gone and then come home for a "visit"...having to knock on the door of her apartment to see MY OWN KID.....Not being responsible anymore over her school work or her schedule or how much time she spends on the computer.
Having all the bedrooms changed....making a new chore chart with only FIVE kids on it instead of six....
Going back to school and contemplating a possible career...
Corey being in real physical pain...that isn't going away. Although we have received a phone call from a sweet person with Lupus who gave us some home.That was so nice.
Realizing Justine will be also gone in 8 months....Justine. That's two children gone. For good. Things never are the same again.
It's too too much. I know the whole rest of the world has gone through this exact thing with children growing up and leaving home and family changing and becoming empty nesters and all of that. I know it has bee done before and will continue to be done for a long time.
But it is the first time it has happened to me.
And I know I have been whining about needing peace and quiet for a million years and I am still glad it is coming my direction. So I know I should just accept this and go with the flow. I know I should say I don't like it I can stand it.
But this BREAKS my heart. I don't want to lose both my girls/friends all in one year. I just don't. Girls...and I could be wrong...have just got to be harder to say goodbye to than boys. The girls are my friends. They are my helpers. They are my team mates.
I don't want the family dynamics to be changed forever. I don't want to miss hearing every day about the funny cute things that happen. I don't want to have this chapter of my life close.
I'm just traumatized a tiny bit. I have a little bit of anxiety over TOO many changes at one. TOO many. Just for reals...life can be scary. Your heart can get broken.
And my face is getting old also.
Too many big changes.
I thought Kassidy was pretty sweet. She left this note on Nathan's white board. Which use to be her white board. She was a very good sport coming home and seeing Nathan's (her's) new room all changed. I liked the end of the note because she is trying to sound all hobbitish. She is sleeping east of his room now, that's why she said that.
1 comment:
Lookey here. It works! I am sad for you to be missing your daughter, and to know another will soon leave. It's hard for me to imagine that with my own 18-year-old because I'm hung up on his constant "I hate this family!" "I want to leave!" "I hate you!" angry outbursts. Be grateful for the loving connection you have with your sweet daughters. You are a wonderful mom. I'm sorry for all you're going through, especially Corey's lupus. Take care.
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