Blogging. I just haven't been feeling it lately.

I don't know. I have been very busy.

And I just haven't been feeling it.

But I notice that I eat more when I don't blog. I think. It seems like when I don't have an outlet like my blogging that I eat more.

I sure have been struggling with trying to eat right. I let things snowball all Christmas for the bad and now I am up a little in weight. And I am so so discouraged. I'm not sure what to do. Every single day I start anew and fail. Some of my old addicted habits are returning.

But I have not given up. I just keep trying.

Whatever. That topic is BORING!!!!!!!

So two days ago I took my baby girl up to college.

It was a BLESSED day. And I mean that as in....I had so much fun and it was such a gift of a day to spend with that girl.

It was also...unexpectedly...a painful day.

I did not expect that. I love her, I will miss her, I enjoy her in my home,  but I have been so excited for her to go to college, that I hadn't thought at all that this would be a sad and painful day. For her....or for me.

What I didn't expect was...for her to be sad. And shy. And awkward. And uncomfortable. And terrified to be sociable. And want me to stay forever and be her best friend.

So when it was time for what should have been me to go home, (all the other parents did) I found myself sitting in the middle of all the college kids doing the wave, literally. And jamming to music and watching an awesome talent show....with the college kids. A little awkward. Especially when one thought I was one of them.

The next day, Kassidy text me possible as much as thirty times. And she told me she was never going to be okay. And that she was in her room alone and didn't feel comfortable going out. 

And my mom heart was w.o.r.r.i.e.d. 

So I would text her back. And tell her that she was powerful. And that she was strong. And that she needed to tell herself that over and over. That she can do this! 

I told her the things Kristopher taught me.

I also had to help her realize that she was allowed to do what she wanted. If she didn't want to stay at the get to know you event she was finding  boring, she could leave. And go walk to the book store. 

You are free little birdie! Fly away!

After I would text her, I would tell Gus all about it at my work. And I would convince him (I mean...me) that I was doing the right thing by not driving up to her that very second and packing her bags and moving her home. Or rushing home and packing my bags and moving in with her. 

(it could work, right?)

And Gus and I would discuss that.... yeah, I was right to stay there at work and not beat it the heck out of there and rescue my kid. And I would convince him, (I mean... me),  that I just had to keep telling her...."give it a few days, it's going to be great!" "just go talk to someone, they are scared too" "Go knock on your room mates door and get to know her" "you are strong" "you can do this" "it will get better" "take a risk" etc...etc...etc....All day long.

By night she had a boy ask for her phone number and she was mostly cured.

But I wasn't. I ate half a bag of chocolate chips.

I discussed with my sil how in this case technology had some down falls. I was constantly alerted and being saddened by her every little hurt. I was saying more than once, "I don't want to be the mom anymore. I don't want to have my heart all wandering around hurting all the time with every kid that leaves my house and has hurts!"

And I have SIX KIDS!!!!!!!

So by the end of the today....she has been there on her own for two full days...

She is doing much better. She is making friends outside of her apartment. She is getting to know her roommates better. They seem to be quiet girls. 

And Kassidy wants to play. Naturally.

I had SUCH a great experience with roommates. And I really thought that was just the way it was. I need to remember that my experience are not my children's, in all sort of aspects of their lives. I need to remember that and to not try to get them hyped up for it for good or bad based on my experiences. 

Kassidy actually doesn't even have a room mate in her room. She is suppose to but no one has shown up yet. 

Also, she is in the one apartment that just so happens to have an upstairs. So the roommates are spread throughout the house. And she only has five roommates when the other apartments have six, and one hasn't shown up. 

And...they have a dog! One of the roomies has a therapy dog. That is fun for Kassidy. Because we like pets.

Tomorrow I will write about the fun day we had with me dropping her off. I wrote too much tonight about all of this other stuff.

A little preview?

Me laughing so hard in the college stairway while I was trying to tell Kassidy about this funny fact!

Even though she loves Pokemon, she wasn't nearly as amused as I was....

FUH NNY!!!!!

oh....and we ALREADY repainted her bedroom....HA HA!!!!! That makes me laugh. We are moving another kid in it!

Nathan wanted his new room silver! Thank you Martha Stewart! And red!!!! His room looks like a space ship. It is awesome!