Wow. You ready to see nuttiness at its finest? Keep reading my post...
I have found (okay, you all know who really found it for me) another really great book.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with OCD "Brain Lock" is a must have. (ha ha. That sounds straight out of a commercial!)
This book has given me peace and understanding and taken away some of the pain and embarrassment from struggling in the past, and present with OCD.
In my adolescent years I was PLAGUED with it. PLAGUED. And no one really knew about OCD then. It was probably the most painful, scary, confusing time in my life. And sadly, this struggle went on for years. And years. It is still a part of me. I think I have it contained very well. But I remember the pain of it and I still struggle with some of it. But I am basically able to manage my life. Sometimes though, I feel like I could be one compulsion away from being back in OCD "prison".
When I was younger, at college, I went to see a therapist and he labeled me as having phobias. I was good with that. It was language I understood. My mother struggled with phobias. For some reason having the label of a phobia tempered the "demon" in me. And it began a whole lot of healing for me and I was able to contain my "phobia" and move on with life. Now I understand what I really had was OCD.
It has been AMAZING to me to read about people that have had the same bizarre OCD tendencies. THE SAME. Like when you go over a speed bump you look back to make sure you didn't hit someone. Do you do that? Some people actually get out and check. Some people don't drive because of it. I usually just think about it and then move on telling my brain that no, I didn't hit someone. (Because it would be a much bigger bump. Because once I ran over a cat (HORRENDOUS) and I know how big of a bump that was. And it was a cat. Worse than just running over a speed bump.)
The book gives you four steps on how to fight OCD. I am so happy that there is a book with this information. I feel like I have to share it even if it makes me look more loony tunes. I would never want anyone in OCD hell to suffer without the knowledge this book provides.
Not too long ago I was watching "Obsession" on net flix. I could relate to SO MANY of the stories of these people suffering from OCD. And it is sort of a crazy world that for sure doesn't make sense to any one who hasn't experienced it. I understood it.
This book, and that show, gave my OCD a home. When the book said the word contamination a million times I knew it understood me. I feel like certain things are "contaminated". When the book talked about having fear of contacting a dreadful illness...it understood me... Hand washing, checking doors, other things that I won't share because they are private...it understood. Kristopher told me about a client who had to wear booties in his own home...like certain special socks because his floor was contaminated...I get that! Wait...you don't? When the book talked about having to do a certain ritual or something bad would happen to somebody....(OF COURSE IT WOULDN'T"T).... I get that! Even though I am not enslaved by a lot of this I am telling you...my OCD was home.
The book talked about how OCD is not about the "getting clean hands"...it is about OCD. I have to wash my hands a million times a day so they are clean (even after touching the vacuum, because that is for sure contaminated) but I think nothing of chewing my nails which is maybe the dirtiest thing you can do. But it is not about having clean hands. It is about OCD. (But secretly....I must not be there yet. Because I just want clean hands. So I guess I still need to internalize much of the book.)
I know it is risky for me to share this. I know some of you will not get it and think of me as wacky. I am. I'm good with that. I am super blessed to have so much of my OCD self managed. But I would never want anyone to go through the pain I went through in high school and sometimes since then, knowing I have a secret weapon and did not share. I can't feel good about that. So I share. Does that make me vulnerable? Yeah. Oh well.
Justine just told me the funniest story. She asked Bo to show here a jujitsu move. He is literally half her size in height He clapped (to distract her, she stared at him not sure what that was about) and then he bent down and grabbed her legs and started pushing her like a little bull. She was being forced backwards and being pushed into junk in her room trying not to fall. SO FUNNY. To me. They say jujitsu is not about being bigger or stronger. I don't know what it is about because I forgot but Bo proved it's not about bigger and stronger.
Kassidy cracked me up the other day also. She asks me... "Since I am 18, if you died what would I get?"
My answer..."5 siblings to raise..."
BAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Night friends!
1 comment:
Loved your answer to Kassidy. The best ever!
I think I will pick up this book. I have a few people that could use it.
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