:)

Rhett fixed my Christmas tree lights!!!!! That boy is one big ball of competency. Love him! Actually all he did was discover somehow the dog had unplugged them under the tree but still...so glad. We had to take all the presents under the tree and put them back in my closet. 1) Brody was eating them. 2) KATE WAS OPENING THEM!!!!!!! Little stinkers.

Well I am in my last week of school. Then just two pretty easy finals and I will be done with two classes. I look back at my first day and how I cried and cried in Kristopher's office because I was so terrified and it was so scary. So funny how you just adjust to things. I am getting an A and hopefully another A. Not sure yet if I can squeak that B into an A for my social work class yet. I am going to have to do awesome on the final. But either way I did ok and am happy. I want A's, but I am not going to complain at B's. Not when I am so subdivided. It still hurts to know that my little Kate will remember me leaving her every day. I probably should have planned my schedule a little different.  I am only gone for two hours and then she goes to school. And Kassidy is here to take her. Ugh. The guilt. Any how....

I saw Kristopher the other day. Therapy is going well. He and I have worked out a lot of kinks lately and are able to make a lot of progress now. No more little setbacks for now (knock on wood). I will go to my death bed believing in therapy. It may not be for everyone. But it has begun to heal parts of me I didn't even understand. And I realize most of you may not understand what I am talking about.  I am just so grateful Heavenly Father knew what I needed when I didn't even know.

Kristopher always has interesting stories. And they are always so extreme! Sheesh.

He told me a story about a suffering boy that was in the hospital where he worked.

I thought it was such a beautiful and tragically sad and deep story. If it can be all of those things at once. I know how this story applies in my life because Kristopher and I talked about it and why it is so beautiful to me. It may not mean anything in your life and sorry to not explain it better but it is an interesting insight into suffering, nonetheless, and I want to share it.

I believe it must have been a hospital where they treated kids with mental illness, which really can be something huge to something less huge, to be categorized as a mental illness. My sweet mom has a "mental  illness" with her agoraphobia. You can be a functioning person and still have a mental illness I do believe. In fact I learned in Social Work class that they use to just lock away forever mentally ill people and then they discovered that they can help them live in the real world with drugs or therapy, etc. When my mom got her agoraphobia they said they might have to put her in a hospital. Uh...TRAUMA for her! Holy cow. So unnecessary sometimes.

Kristopher said he wasn't this boy's actual therapist but they all were part of a team of other therapists and people who were helping the kids. This is one area that I find fascinating and wouldn't mind exploring when I am going into my career someday. EEKKKK!!!!! yes. I said career.

The boy was wiping his feces on the wall. He had been so abandoned and so injured and so neglected and so abused that he was a "smearer". Did you even know that existed? The boy was so hurt that he would wipe his feces to keep people away from him so they couldn't hurt him or leave him anymore.

Heartache.

He had to be in the hospital for TWO years until they were able to get that behavior under control and help him in his other needs and then he was able to go on to a foster care and be adopted. Amazing. Kristopher said he really liked the kid. He could still picture him.

He said that because he had been living like a squatter he wasn't use to having food. So after dinner he would sneak down into the kitchen and steal all the cran grape juices and cracker packages. And he would just eat them and eat them.

What would you do with a kid like that?

I asked one of my kids and they said put him in a straight jacket.

Or maybe one would discipline him for stealing.

Kristopher told me...

 that they STOCKED his room with cases of juice and cases of crackers. They STOCKED his room. It was available to him whenever he wanted it. Kristopher told me he got sick of crackers. :)

But they let him know that there was an abundance.

That story just gets to me. Poor sweet suffering kids that are out there. I think of that boy going to bed that night knowing he had an abundance. That his room was stocked. They didn't betray his cries for help. They stocked his room. Giving him security. Peace. Giving him empathy. Peace. Giving him nurturing and care. Peace.

Sort of makes me want to change the world. Sort of makes me look differently at the things people do that are gross or annoying or sinful. They are cries for help. That's what they are. Cries. for. help.

Love. Just love.