About a year or more ago I was watching Larry King and the most beautiful, sad story was on. I was moved by it and still think about it often. I wonder if I have even half the Faith and Love and GRACE that these people do. I love the way some religions speak about God and His mercy and how good He is. I like the way it sounds.
Any way, Larry King had popular Christen singer, Steven Chapman, and his family on his show. It is still on you tube if you want to watch the interview. Their teenage son accidentally ran over their young daughter. As they told their story I was moved over and over again.The family has three biological children who are 15 and older and then adopted three sweet little girls from China. When the accident happened the family had been in preparation for their daughter's wedding. Steven Chapman, the father, was on the front porch on the phone. Looking back, they believe that was part of God's plan so he was able to see his son was driving carefully and not on the cell phone, as was very common. Apparently the sisters were all playing on the monkey bars and need help getting on them. They saw Will, the 15 year old big brother, pulling in and went to get him to help them. The dad said that Will was the most amazing big brother. That he would put him up against any other brothers to compare because he was such an incredible big brother. He said that Will would stop whatever he was doing no matter what to play with his sisters and his little sister knew that. So Maria Sue, who was five,was going to get him and rounded a corner as he was pulling in. He didn't see her and struck her. The son carried her to his mother and they believe she had already passed away. Steven came to them and of course everyone was hysterical. He began crying out to "the God he knows as his Father" reminding Him of all the things He has done through times to heal, knowing that He could save his daughter. He wasn't angry but he was saying to God "you can't ask this of me, it is too much". The ambulance came and began working on the little daughter and took her to life flight. Steven got in his car and he knew his son was going through so much guilt. He was determined in that moment that he had lost one child, he wasn't going to lose two. What wisdom. Isn't God there for us in our need. As they were driving away he saw his son crumpled up on the ground with his older brother on top of him holding him and praying for him. Apparently he had tried to run away and his brother tackled him. Steven rolled down his window and had the driver stop and he yelled to his boy "Will Franklin Chapman, your father loves you!"
Those words have been in my mind for a year now. What an inspired, loving dad. It is lovely to me how really he is speaking of two fathers whether he meant it that way at the time or not.
The night of the accident the family held hands over her body and committed they were going to live their life by honoring Maria by honoring the One who gave her to them. They are grieving with hope.
When asked how the oldest sister is doing she said sister said that God's mercy's are new every morning. She says "I woke up the next morning and He has sustained me since". She also said that in the scriptures God says that He is near to the broken hearted and that she has never felt that more in her life.
By the way, the little girls names were Shaohannah (so very cute) Maria Sue and Stevie Joy. I loved the way they referred to their girls with their middle names as well. That is one reason I love to call my Kate, Katie Shay.
I had the great privilege in working one day a month for a few hours at temple. It was such a sweet experience. At the time I thought it was so crazy they asked me with all my little kids at home but now I am so glad I had the chance. At the temple I worked with a neat lady who had a baby die at age one.I was so upset by that because I just didn't know how you could lose a child and go on. She told me that we don't really learn things from the spirit when everything is going great. That it is when hard things happen that and you need the comfort that that is when you can be taught by the spirit. That has stuck with me for years. I think about how true that is. I sometimes wonder when the BIG thing is going to happen to be that I will be able to partake of the Spirit in that way. But of course I don't want that BIG thing to happen. But I do want to know the comfort and the lessons they learned going through these trails. How can you get there without the suffering? I don't want to have to go through what gets you there but I think it might be the only way.
I have been blog stalking lately and have come across a few blogs that are absolutely amazing. The strength faith these people have is amazing. The things they have learned and who they have become through their grief is amazing. Words can not say it.
One blog is written by a lady who was in a plane crash with her husband. She was burned over 80% of her body and in a coma for 5 months. She has four children. I thought of how painful it was for me when I was in the hospital extra days after Katie-Shay was born. At first of course it was fun. But after a while it started crushing me that I wasn't there for my Bo, who was 2 1/2 at the time. I wanted to be his care taker right then. I missed him desperately. Also ,of course, I was hormonal. But to be in a coma for 5 months? How did she do it! When she woke up her baby had attached himself to her sister and didn't recognize his mother. Once back at home at times he would go to the door calling for his mommy when she was right there! How did she get through this pain. There is no answer but the obvious one- God sustained her. His mercy was new each day.
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/
Another blog I have been reading is written by a lady whose almost two year old choked and died at church with them right there, unable to save her. It was their only child at the time. Her blog eloquently describes their trial as they go through this journey of grief as their constant companion. Often times she cries in her blog, "Where is my Lucy?". My heart broke for her as I cried tears for my heavenly sister's pain. Of course this mom knows where her girl is but really, how do you go on when a child has died? There is NO answer but the obvious one-God sustains you.
http://jacksonparkcity.blogspot.com/
I also have read a bit of a blog from a sweet mom who recently died of cancer. Throughout her journey she CONTINUOUSLY gave thanks to God. CONTINUOUSLY. Absolutely amazing. She trusted Him. He was with her through her trials. She felt blessed all the time. How does a mom leave her girls and still feel blessed? How does a mom leave her girls? God sustained her. There is no other way. I am so relieved and glad to remember and learn from others that God will sustain me as well.
I have a friend who had a few children and finally, after I believe over 10 years, got pregnant again. With no signs of previous trouble her baby was born with some problems and wasn't going to live. At first she didn't believe the Dr. because she knew God wouldn't do that to her after she tried so hard to have a baby. But it was true. Her baby died. She told me that while of course she would love to have had her baby she would NEVER trade the things they learned from the Spirit during that time...
I think about how when I go through my "big" trial I hope I can be full of grace and love and courage as these people are. I wonder what my "big" trial will be. And then I think, life is actually going by really fast. I am having trials just like the rest of us every day. The "big" trial may never come. In fact, I have loads of little trials that I handle poorly all the time, asking WHY ME? Feeling bad for myself, not being grateful, saying "UGH!" a LOT, having a bad attitude, being hugely annoyed. I am learning that these small trials are the ones I better learn to master now not for when the "big" trial comes. I need more faith, gratitude, hope. Am I trusting God everyday?
One thing I learned, as I learned from some of these friends who have learned from the spirit in insurmountable ways is, that ultimately I do trust God. I believe whatever He throws my way is ultimately meant for my good to mold me and shape me as clay into a better, more wiser, more patient, more loving, more understanding, more knowledgeable, more stronger, more everything good, me. I hope I will be able to remember that if life ever seems to much to bear. I hope I will remember that during all my little trials. I hope I will keep the faith and "live and let God". I hope I will remember that God's mercy is new each day. That tomorrow will look better. That God loves me, I am His child. That God will sustain me. That God will sustain you.
2 comments:
So wise and well written. Thank you Susan.
I really relate to you Susan. Are our brains connected? Do we go through the same things at the same time, or do we ponder the same thoughts? I think we do. Maybe it is cause we live on Denning Avenue. Or perhaps we were both born in 1972. Perhaps it is the dark hair, light skin, light eyes coloring that we both have. Hmmmmmmm seriously though, I love this blog cause I relate to it. I have thought the same things, and actually my most recent long post was pretty much trying to say what you said. Or at least it was about the same thought. Anyway, I loved it. And on a different note, I fell over laughing at the twilight blog. She is terribly funny.
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