Sucky things about putting your sweetie dog to sleep. Kelly-don't read!

Watching your sad and lonely husband dig a grave in the back yard in a snow storm in preparation for dooms day. Might I add I have never seen such a work of art involving dirt. He put such precision and care in this beautiful grave. It look like he did it with an angle square. Thanks, Corey.

Having your 9 year old try to hide his face in an adult man way so no one will see him cry and him trying to act tough about it. It KILLS me to watch my boys trying not to cry. What is it about boys that they just can't cry also? I feel sad for boys that they feel ashamed at crying. Nathan and Rhett both held it in while the girls just bawled.

Having that same 9 year old beg for me to just give her a pill or something to fix her. And later refusing to come see her buried.

Reading the saddest Face Book tributes ever from teenage girls.

Dear Josie, you have been the greatest dog my family could every have. I love you so very much and I will miss you forever. But I know that I will see you again soon and that we will all be together again. I know that Heavenly Father will comfort us of your passing tomorrow. Josie, you have been the best and greatest dog ever! And it is going to way hard to see you go.I love you and thanks for always being that dog that protected me and comforted me in the dark. You've always been there when I needed you. I can't express how much I love you, and I cry every time I think of you. You've been my best friend for the longest time. I love you so much Josie -Kassidy

She's gone. Josie is gone. :( -Kassidy

Love you Josie!!!!! ;( ;'( -Justine

Love to my dog Josie!! We will miss you!! :(:(- Justine

And they changed their profile pictures to Josie.

Trying to tell the most adorable ever 9 year old basketball coach that you couldn't sign your kid back up on his team because it was all full. You really aren't that crushed but you start to cry because you are upset about dooms day. So you tell him you aren't that upset over basket ball and tell him about your dog and cry and he tries to give condolences and you thank him and give him a thumbs up and walk away because you can't talk anymore.

Your husband hoping she would have held out for one more camping trip but you know it isn't possible or kind so you force dooms day asap and then you are the grim reaper.

Knowing your little ray of sunshine isn't so sunny anymore. Watching her slowly deteriorate with kidney failure.

Trying to have family prayer after discussing her and dooms day with the kids and then no one could or would say the prayer. So finally the five year old had to do it.

12 years ago we were offered a free pure bred golden retriever puppy from some very generous friends. The puppy was out of a litter of 11. I had lots of experience with animals and knew that Golden Retrievers were most excellent dogs. I had always said that would be the only dog I would ever pay money for and here was a free one. The one they were offering us wouldn't come out to greet us like the rest of the puppies. She just sat still in the kennel. Now that I look back I know that was a sign of the joy to come of having a mellow, calm dog. That was what I loved about Josie. She never annoyed you. If you had time to pet her great, if not she was fine with that also. She could speak human and would do the things I asked when I would just speak normal to her. She would patiently sit next to many a babies high chair waiting to be fed. Never begging or taking without asking. She loved all our other pets. She loved our children. We never worried about her temperament. Our children have no dog manners because they never needed them with our dog. The kids could wallow all over Josie and she never cared. She was smart and obedient and easy and lovable and just our darling dog for a long time. Oh- and this dog knew what to do when I brought out the camera. She knew how to pose and when to pose. I had her trained just like the kids. She could rock that camera.

I have five million more great pictures also in albums. I wish I had time to pull them all out and scan them in.

Not so sucky things:

Not sucky-Lots and lots of friends wishing us well even though she was a dog. One even called wondering what to say because she isn't really an animal lover but still wanted to offer condolences even though I am not sure she "gets" the animal thing. Another friend even crying for us. Teachers comforting my children at school. Friends from long ago that are now Face Book friends saying sorry. Thanks, guys.

Also not sucky-After we buried her we had a group family hug and a prayer of comfort and well wishes for Josie's journey and it was sweet.

More not sucky-A non hobbit like Samwise Gamgee type of guy was the veterinarian who put Josie to sleep. Even though he probably does it 80 times a month he was very sweet and compassionate to us and to our girl. I could just almost hear him saying just like Sam did..."Time is always against us".

It's weird and lonely here tonight.

Okay...and a little dramatic. But what can I say, we loved her.

Thanks for listening!