You know how I said I was moving to New York to live in a high rise small apartment with fire escapes and window planter gardens? And I was going to be a famous novelist and sometimes go to the local coffee shop to type my stories ( just like the J.K. Rolling). Only since I don't drink coffee I really hope they serves Jamba Juice since I will be spending a lot of time there?
Remember how I said I was going to be alone while I did that? Aside from my florist friend who will cover my apartment with beautiful arrangements and the chef friend I am still taking applications for.....Remember that dream?
Well here is what gets me thinking that way!!!!
Soooooooo............... guess who for their ENTIRE life gets to feel the pain of six other people every time something sad or bad or mad happens in their life. Yep.......ME!
Guess who gets to cry over their sufferings, over their sad/bad days, over their heart breaks, over their striking out during softball games (okay, I didn't really cry over that but I felt BAD!), over their newly diagnose heart murmurs, over their bad news of maybe not getting their "dream" whatever their "dream" is. Yep.......... MEEE!!!!!!
Guess who has to be nervous MORE than them while they are out on their driving tests, or while they are speaking in church, or while they are at a job interview? YES!.......ME!!!!!!!!
Guess who gets to feel WORSE then they do when they don't get to go to the Prom or don't get to go to their fun activity for what ever reason, or are sick with fevers, or can barely read and write.....MEEEEEEEE!!!!
Guess who tries to make right decisions and give advice that might be wrong but you were just trying to help them but then the advice didn't work and things went bad for your kid and then you have to feel bad or be mad at but YOU were just trying to help,.... or..... give input on decisions for their live that is vitally important because they depend on your input and follows it because your the mom but.... who!.....who really put you in charge??? You are still making your own stupid decisions for you OWN life. Guess. Guess who!!!.......ME!
I can't bear all the pain.
And times all these by SIX children and I just don't know if my heart can stand it. And for the rest of my life my heart is walking around outside of my body in six different directions following six different lives for like maybe SIXTY more years!!!!!!
That high rise is sounding pretty soothing about now. Right?
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Guess who gets to have six different children's faces look at her and tell her they love her? Guess who gets to wipe away the tears of joy from her children's faces as they look into their mother's eyes and expresses grattitude to her when they are grown? Guess who gets to feel the pride of accomplishment as her children give talks in church and walk across the stage with a diploma? Guess who will be blessed with 6 children-in-law and countless grandchildren whom she will get to spoil and love?
Yup.....YOU!!!!
I saw a t-shirt once that said, "Motherhood isn't for Whimps!" You are no whimp for sure. I was very sad Kassidy didn't get to go to Prom and mortified when all the girls wore their dresses to church and it only struck me then how that would feel and I just want to squeeze her and tell her how sorry I am and how I love her.
There is no "ME" in the word "MOMMY."
I would take your problems anyday. All of them. Sorry, but I get to look at pictures, just pictures of precious orphans, orphans that would give anything to be loved as much as I could love them, but guess what? I don't have any money. I can't physcially have a child for Lord only knows why and I cannot even buy a child. They call it adoption, but it is buying one! I would take them all.
Bottom line is, that you can keep trying to handle all this stuff by yourself, but it isn't going to work.
You and I need the Lord in ALL things. With God's help you and your husband can help your children through their problems and teach them to pray to God about their challenges seeking answers in Him. That needs to be so repeatedly taught to train them on how to be a happy and obedient Christian.
God heals. I was in a very bad car accident 12 years ago.
My body tried to quit, I actually flat lined twice. But, it wasn't my day. They brought me back.
Then doctors said I would never walk again. I began walking 6 months after the car accident.
I don't know why He has chosen to seemingly not heal me reproductively, but He hasn't.
My sister growing up had a hole in her heart. She was prayed for with the laying on of hands in church and she was healed. The next examination revealed that the hole had closed.
My niece was told there was a tumor on her brain when she was like 7 or 8. Some time passed, but we all prayed and believed the best we could and gave her to God, believing for a miracle.
Well, her next examination showed no tumor. Doctors couldn't explain it.
It is amazing how much easier it is to handle life's difficulties when we submit to His will for our lives.
High rise in New York? Is that what God wants for you? Is that going to enrich and better the lives of your children?
Keep your feet on solid ground.
All this is said in love, please know this.
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