Keeping our muchness about us!

Today, in keeping with tradition, the kids and I went and saw a summer movie. "Alice in wonderland". I got these summer movies down to a science. We all bring in water bottles and I bring in plastic cups. Then we buy one extra large popcorn that comes with a free refill for under $5.00. It works out perfect. By the end of summer, the kids get their fill of movies and popcorn, and I get to zone out in an air conditioned building. It rocks!

So today during the movie, Johnny Depp, who is ever so interesting as the "Mad Hatter", disappointingly tells Alice, (who is returning to wonderland but doesn't realize she is "the" Alice, who is suppose to slay some beast but doesn't think it is in her to do so), ... “You were much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness,” he tells her.

I loved that. I related to that. I felt that in my bones. I was much more...muchier at one point in my life. I have lost MY muchness. I think it happens to the best of us. I had such great plans for myself. I was going to be something that I don't think I have attained at all. It is terribly disappointing how average I am. I was going to be so much more muchier!

Also, as we all do, I probably don't realize my own muchness. I am not seeing my own muchness. Just as most of us don't. I can see your muchness, and you can see mine, but we don't see our own... do we? Sad. That is probably one of the greatest tools of Satan. To keep us discouraged and despairing our own lack of muchness.

Another way I have lost my muchness is that I think my trials have made me cynical. They have worn me down and I have not turned to the Lord as I should have. I have not gone to my source of "muchness" or always relied on what was "muchier". I spend too much time wishing I was someone else with this quality or that quality and not enough time being grateful. I have not grown in areas I should have. I have not turned to the scriptures and prayer and fed my muchness. I have let my muchness remain stagnant. I have wasted many a day just trying to get through it instead of achieving and maintaining my muchness.

Although, I don't know how I could have done it different. The days are hard sometimes. Days of trying to be most patient, of trying to not eat too many carbs, no sugar, of trying to pay all these little people enough attention, trying to give the one big person in the house enough attention, of trying not to escape from life and a messy house by checking Face Book 100 times a day, trying to do everything on my list, trying to pay all the bills, cook nutritious meals, etc, etc, etc...

I don't know...it has all worn me down and made me lose my muchness too. I am right there with you Alice. I feel ya, girl!

Just as you realized your muchness in the end I believe someday I will see my muchness too. But for today it feels as if I have lost it. I am not the muchier person I thought I was going to be at this stage in my life. I really had great visions for myself as a person. Sometimes I think I have spent so many years trying to help my family achieve their muchness that my own has slipped away. But I also know without a doubt that helping them and others gain their muchness is how I receive my own. Interesting, huh?

Please don't comment telling me how "much" I am. That isn't what this post is about. It was just some thoughts I had. I know I have some great muchnessess about me. Something about that line in the movie just resonated in my today. What do you all thing on the subject? Do share.