baby hugging

The other day while working at the fair I was able to hold my boss's 2 1/2 month old baby.

For a while now I have not enjoyed kids that much unless they were my own . And I never "mugged" on other people's babies.

And for a while now I have also been burned out on kids. I always wanted a large family. I wanted twelve. But having a large family is a challenge. Especially when you have some serious ADHD going on. Do you all think I use that as an excuse for my chaos? I guess if you do I  understand. And don't care that much. I know the truth around here. I know I have done my best to manage things.

But slowly, slowly my love for children is coming back. Slowly I am loving babies and kids again.

I especially love my friend Viki's two little sweet boys. Ages 1 and barely 3. I kiss and hug them every time I see them. That is really just not me. And at first when I started "muggin" on them I was like....huh! I must miss babies!

And at the fair I was so happy to hold my boss's little boy. I stood in the shoe booth and rocked him and felt his soft little head and loved him.

And it reminded me that I have never felt more like "me" then when I have a baby in my arms. I never feel more pretty. I never feel more at "home" in my own skin.

Is that weird?

I don't know what to do with that information. Does it mean something? Is it part of my life purpose?

Off the topic but still a little bit on... I have an interest in helping orphans. I haven't figured out what or how I am going to do something about this interest. I don't know where this interest leads me. Not to adopt myself, that is not a possibility at this point.  But I have been reading some beautiful blogs about people who are doing it and care about the plight of orphans. I found this quote that I thought was interesting and when I read the blogs of these peole who are saving orphans, the quote is down right lovely.

"My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him." Derek Loux

In case you care....here is one of my favorites...They adopted this 16 year old boy...It is a great story.

http://1blessing2another.blogspot.com/