Oh yeah...one more.

G)

Thanks, Christina for the reminder. I also don't like the wilderness because of ticks. They are nasty little creatures. They have a very distinctive feeling when they are crawling on you. I can always tell. I have found  MORE THAN ONE crawling on me, IN MY BED, off of Corey's hunting clothes. AURGGG!!!!

I did find it helpful when one of my friends said that I wouldn't be alone in the wilderness. I would be with God. Shirley, Heavenly Father would let something happen to me when I was GOING THERE TO BE WITH HIM. Right? I'm sticking with that. Don't tell me if you think otherwise.

I have been singing Les Miserable for the whole day. My sweetie friend gave it to my birthday and now that we have a DVD player in the car we have been listening to it. Love it. Things like that bring me great joy. I know the singing was a tad different but I love it anyways. Things like that nourish me.

Okay, SUPER FUNNY...

Bahaa!

And....I have been thinking. I was really motivated when I read this post about this lady who lost weight and became a runner.

This blogger said "Because I was never a runner, until I was."

And I liked that. It gave me strength and power and motivation.

Somewhere I also read "I run because I can". And for lots of years I couldn't run. At all. Not as in I couldn't go far...I literally couldn't run. And now I can.

And I think I should be.

Tonight Corey and I had a work dinner. We went by a river and he wanted me to touch the water. I had to go down on a rock and was all waiting for him help. Then I jumped down and realized...Psshh. I don't need his help. I can do different things now! I can bend down and jump on a rock and my body literally is completely different. I can do more now. Even if I am having a little struggle fighting right now I still have come a long way and I can do things now that I could before. Like bend down by a river. Like run.

I think I want to try running a bit. I don't know as though I am going to be able to continue my weight loss without running or some sot of way more involved exercise of some kind. I keep wondering if I should join a gym. I need some goals to work towards. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO RUN A WHOLE MILE WITHOUT STOPPING. EVER. I want to. Just as a goal.

I need to burn some calories. I have been regressing a bit. Also I believe I mentioned I signed up for that run where they spray you with chalk. (SO FUN!) I can walk it. But I want to at least compete a little.

I also saw this on FB. It was getting a little criticism but I still enjoyed it.

So today was Kristopher. He said some pretty helpful things. He said I needed to change my thinking. And that the current trial I am going through is actually the best news of the day because it is pushing me. At this point I just laugh at him. Because it is no surprise to me anymore what he is going t tell me. So I smile. Because you are telling him sad things about your life and he tells you, "that is the best thing that can be happening to you!"

He was very sympathetic at first but now he is trying to train me.

He said everyone runs from pain (by being or staying addicted and numb). And the most painful things he had happen, he would never change because of all the great things that came from them.

We talked about how life is in seasons. Some seasons in my life are changing. And I have been fighting that KICKING AND SCREAMING. Crying that I liked my life the way it was. But this season change just has to be. Whether I want it or not. It has to be.

 I told Kristopher I have been muddling through abstaining from my addiction. He said that was because I was trying to go backwards. Wanting things to be the way they once were. But my life is in seasons. And things have changed. And now I have to move forward.

I know this always sound like I am divorcing. That is not it. Corey and I are still here!

It is about other life changes that "are happening to me" that I am really having a hard time adjusting to and accept and deal with. But Kristopher tells me they are "the best news of the day".

Maybe.