Today I got to spend blessed hours of quiet at the hospital waiting for Justine to have an ankle scope.
About three years ago she sprained her ankle in the most boring fashion ever. Softball practice stepping on it crazy and rolled it. She wasn't even catching a pop fly or nothin'!!!!
And her ankle has bothered her EVER SINCE.
We....went to the Dr. He said to not twist it again for a year because these things take time to heal.
We went to a chiropractor and he cracked her ankle.
We went for a long time and did physical therapy with Kyle (ohh lala).
We went to a guy who made her special orthotics which she didn't want to wear because they don't fit well in cute shoes.
So she has been running the ankle gamut trying to figure out what in the world.
Finally we ended up going to a surgeon who did an x-ray and MRI and could find nothing.
About the x-ray, when I was younger I took a lot of photography classes where we would develop the negatives in the dark room. Coolest thing ever. And then I worked at a veterinarian and we developed film then also.
When we got Justine's x-ray I was quite impressed that all they did was stick this panel thing under her ankle
and then in a machine
and it instantly appeared in the computer. Way fancy. The x-rays showed nothing.
So then she had an MRI. Nothing.
So then the Dr. made her wear a boot for a month to see if stabilizing it would help. It didn't.
Nice. A hole in the sock. She was so embarrassed. I'm so glad my kids are just so use to me taking their pictures they don't even react. Makes me happy.
(She loves The Union Jack because that is where her One Direction boys are form.)
So then today, this cute Dr...... I have a thing (ya think?) for professionals...
scoped it and he found some cartilage and some other little things he shaved off and he is hoping the problem is solved. Because if it isn't I don't think they know what to do next.
He said before the surgery he could feel lots of popping in her ankle but after the surgery he could not so he felt encouraged.
Justine is so my mom. She took one look at a person in a hospital bed, was stricken with the look of panic, and said she was going to throw up. She, apparently, doesn't "do" hospitals.
The nurse came in and gave her an IV. I was happy Justine let me hold her hand through it. She is very NOT touchy. Justine was sad but survived it. But then she refused to look at it. She said it was too gross and would make her throw up and she couldn't look at it.
Seeing her paralyzed with fear over such a "little" (in the full spectrum of things that are going to happen in her life) thing made me think about Kristopher's lessons about facing your fears. My initial advice was to tell Justine to just don't look at it. Just watch TV and pretend it isn't there. Jut ignore it.
But I thought about Kristopher's council. I thought about a story from when he was suffering once and his own mentor told him to allow himself to get in his state of anguish and just simmer it for an hour. Or less if that is all you can stand. And you face this hurt and pain and it doesn't have power over you anymore.
And I told Justine to stare at it. And face it until it doesn't have power over her. I mean I could really see how this was holding power over her. And....she wouldn't do it. She told me she already looked at it and she refused to look at it again. But I know these lessons will stay with her. And someday....she will be able to use them. I can't believe how much my thinking has changed.
Girlfriend getting ready to go back... I love her. She is so cute and sweet. I will die when she gets married and leaves me all alone to raise my own kids. I loathe the day.
When they were wheeling her away I warned them not to hurt my best babysitter. She was on duty that night. baha. I am a nerd. Of course it's not true. When I had to go get Kassidy from work I made Nathan baby sit her.
After surgery......
Do I need to mention that indeed that is my chocolate pudding cup? When they asked if they could bring me anything I actually said a pudding cup! For the love of Helen!!!! I am that off the wagon. I am scaring myself. I don't even have a clue how I lost so much weight because I am lost in the world of food. And I don't know how to get back out.
Justine's toes painted with the Union Jack flag.
The physical therapists teaching her to walk with crutches...
I think Justine will be glad he could feel the popping. I think she was beginning to wonder if this was all in her head because it had lasted so very long and no one seemed to know why.
So after years of pain I am hoping it is taken care of.
She is now sitting on the couch with gogurts and ice and movies. Happy. Glad she is home in my nest for now.
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