I might like Javert. Is that bad?

Okay. So is there something wrong with me that I actually like Javert from Les Mis... Someone who has more literatureish depth, feel free to explain this to me.

I told you that I got the CD for my birthday. And we just happen to have a new (used) van with a CD player in it. So we listen to it every chance we get. AND WE LOVE IT!!!!! (most of us anyways.)

So my favorite song is this song with Jean Valjean (Hugh...LOVE)  and Javert (Russel....SWOON) singing almost like a duel.

I. JUST. LOVE. IT.

And something about it made me understand why Javert can't give up the fight of searching for Jon Valjean.

I think it is Javert's inner child chasing Jon Valjean. For reals. I do.

I mean Javert was born inside a jail with scum! That just doesn't go away without some inner healing.

I love that song. Is it wrong for me to like Javert?

Okay. Today was group.

I decided from now on I was going to talk about anything Kristopher wanted me to. I am tired of the game of not wanting to talk about stuff. I am just going to do things his way so I can move on my way.

He was surprised when I told him I would talk about anything he wanted. "Anything" he said? And I said "yes". And then, him being him, went straight for one of the most hot topics for me. A topic that I just recently received some clarification and peace on and he wanted me to share that. So I did. I told it like it is and it was fine.

He is constantly saying he wants us to FEEL our painful things. And STAND it. Without addiction or other things that distract us or make us temporarily feel better. To just stand it.

He stated talking about doing power stances. And how doing two minutes a day of a power stance can literally change your brain. I read somewhere where your brain makes new pathways. So doing some of these things can create new pathways and change the way you are thinking. So check this video out if you have time. It was pretty good. It is by Amy Cuddy. (I couldn't turn it into a proper video. So here is the link. It's good!)

This TED Talk has been recommended to you by susankn@ida.net from TED.com. Note from sender: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html?source=email#.UcFNtSD7RM1.email


The lady believes not in faking it till you make it but "fake it until you become it". Interesting stuff.

Kristopher said that when he graduated college they believed at that time that who you were by age 18 was who you are. That your brain and who you are was set in stone.

But now they believe because of neuroplasticity you can change your brain and the way you think. I am glad. Because I don't think Heavenly Father would make us so our brain just was stuck the way it is at age 18. Bleck!

So, great mom moment. I came home to see Nathan on my bed reading my blog book. And talking to me about certain memories from it. I bet he read it for about an hour. I loved that. Him reading about my sharing of our world.

So Kristopher told us today that he has teenage kids come in who are NEVER hugged. And they need them. They want them from him. Because they aren't getting them elsewhere.

I have to admit that I have had to make a very conscious effort to hug my older children. Sometimes I have it in my head that they don't want me to hug them. Or they might be embarrassed or uncomfortable with it. Or not want it from me anymore. I don't know why. But I have been pushing those feelings aside and scratching their backs or hugging them regardless, and just pretending that they love it. I suppose if they don't they will suck it up or finally tell me.

I do have one kid who really does seem to not want physical touch from me. I really feel like I am invading her space when I try. I don't know what you do about that. I still sort of force it on her ever other day. I don't want her to be neglected and not tell me and I don't want to force something on her that she doesn't want. So I am trying to find a happy medium.

Tonight (despite my stress yesterday) I was thankful for a large family. Rhett had to babysit. That is just the way it works in large families. Kids, who in other families still need supervision, are the babysitters in large families. He actually can do a decent job when he is calm. He had the littles out back with sleeping bags and they were watching a movie on the laptop. They thought it was AWESOME.