The doctor said he is a complicated guy.
And he said he is working his tail off at everything academically he is doing. He said he needs every amount of praise for everything he accomplishes at school because of his dyslexia and attention struggles, most of what is going on there is NOT easy for him. The Dr said that he is putting forth so much effort during the day to achieve what he is achieving that when he gets home he should just be DONE so that he doesn't decide to hate school and learning and reading. That for him to process all the reading and writing and language is so taxing on him that he is doing an awesome job to still be working hard and plugging away. He said he is a incredibly hard worker (no new news there).
The Dr. said if he or I were doing a job everyday and we were not good at it (because lets be frank, he is not good at reading or writing, AND IT IS NOT BECAUSE HE IS DUMB. IN FACT HE IS VERY VERY SMART) then we wouldn't last very long at that job AT ALL. But Rhett is still there...at school...working his heart out EVERYDAY. Even though it is extraordinarily difficult for him because of his dyslexia and his ADHD, and probably a bit embarrassing.
There are times he can perform with beautiful handwriting and correct answers. His teacher even gave me a notebook full of his beautiful writing and said "Why can he do this sometimes, and struggle so severely other times" It is because it takes intense concentration and "try" for him to do that. And no one can be "on" all the time. Rhett lets down a little and then he does poorly. And then everyone thinks "oh, he's not trying". But he did try. He can't be at that same high level all the time. It is too exhausting, for anyone, especially a boy with ADHD. And Rhett is still a good boy during either of those times. He is still a trying boy during either of those times. He is still a smart boy during either of those times.
The Dr. suggested a book that had an interesting subject matter. "Multiple Intelligences". It is something to do with how we work with kids to all be good academically when there are many ways to be intelligent.
I see that with Rhett. Reading and writing are just not something he excels in but we push him and push him and push him. Yes. I want him to read and write. I know it is incredibly important. But when that is what is being focused on all the time...and he is just not gaining much progress....then what is that telling him about the other parts of his self. That they don't matter? That only if he can read and write is he of value? He is VERY GOOD at many other things. But they are not things he gets to spend 6 hours a day working on each day. Instead...he works all day doing things he is not good at. How miserable. It is a wonder he is not the saddest kid on the planet. He is working his little soul out. Because of his attention issues and his "language" delays, ALL of school is one big amount of work for Rhett. And what he is accomplishing there...no matter how it compares to any other kid....is outstanding.
The Dr. said he had a great personality. I really liked this Dr. He listened and expressed great concern for protecting Rhett's heart. And that is what I care about doing.
Also Rhett has some impulse control problems. And because he behaves so well at school he is exhibiting self control ALL day. So when he gets home and lashes out at us or annoys us with his flipping fingers or noise...his self control has let down.
The test the Dr. does to learn this is fascinating. There is a tape recorder that tell you to do some things...Touch the red block. Touch the yellow block. Touch the blue block. But there are some rules. When the voice says touch the red block you touch the red block. When it says touch the yellow block,you touch the brown block. When it says touch the blue block, you don't touch any blocks. He said Rhett could just not help but to touch the blue block. Interesting, huh?
Also Rhett is more than grade average with math story problems. Things he can visualize in his head...he "gets".
Sorry for that long, long rant. It just is sad to me. I know he has a bright future. The Dr. told me he has a bright future. And I know he does. But to never know the love of reading? To have one huge way of absorbing information cut off from you? But I also know and am incredibly grateful for technology. There isn't anything that can't be made up to him by technology at this point.
Sigh.
Today I have eaten way more than my fair share. In fact, this whole week I have done pretty suckyola. I feel a bit out of control again and it terrifies me. It is so easy to get off track and feel bad about yourself and stay out of control.
I have also chewed every last centimeter of my fingernails off.
For the love of Helen!
Here is the crazy picture the brain Dr. drew to explain Rhett and where he was scoring percentage wise on things. I was very amused by it. You know...in a "you get paid the big bucks and this is the best graph you can draw" sort of way...
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