after Kristopher recommended it to a friend of mine. It has been a super quick read. Or I guess it would be but I stopped to read this one (I am so ADHD sometimes)
I already knew this book was going to be outstanding. I am only in chapter three and it is beautiful. And beautiful and beautiful. A must buy. You should seriously own it. Even though it is not a penny.
The Thinking, Changing, Rearranging book is about how to improve self esteem in children. I know....blah blah, right? I have always been annoyed by the whole premise of smothering your children with tons and tons of kudos for every little thing lest we hurt their self esteem. Or not disciplining. Lest we hurt there self esteem.
Self esteem comes from being a good person, working hard, treating others well. But I am also learning some other things about it as well.
"Have you ever found yourself relating to a child who seems to have low self esteem by trying to "fix" things for them? By contriving events so they would experience success, validation, love? By manipulating events so they wouldn't have to face pain? However well meaning on our part, and however effective in gaining short-term results, these efforts probably reinforce the belief that both good days and bad days are somehow tied to the power of external events. The child attributes the quality of his day to something outside of himself; he remains blind to his role in creating his day, and thus is powerless to make changes in it. The belief is deeply entrenched in children that they "have to" feel a certain way, "because of" what happened.
But self esteem must ultimately come from within each person, and we best serve our children by providing them with the knowledge and skills for taking control of their inner environment.
The approach here is based on certain premises. First, that events in and of themselves have little if any power over us emotionally. Second, that the power lies in the thoughts and beliefs we have about those events. Third, that emotion will tend to follow (positive thinking leading to emotional well-being, "junk-though" leading to emotional pain) Fourth, that a change in thinking will bring a change in feelings."
-Thinking, Changing, Rearranging by Jill Anderson.-
I am learning that last part TO BE OH SO TRUE!!!! I have been able to change extreme emotions by thinking different thoughts. I have been able to go from sad to happy and even happy to sad by thinking different thoughts. It is very important to be MINDFUL of your thoughts.
Okay...one more book I read....(I really don't even devote that much time to reading..I don't know how I am
reading so much...)
I follow her blog and she had this quote on it from her book yesterday. I loved it. And it just resonates with all I am learning as of late. I don't know why it is some big realization to me lately. Did everyone else already know this?
""But even with all that others were willing to offer me, I realized along the way that ultimately nothing they did could make me happy. I felt comforted by family and my faith, but peace was different from happiness. At first I thought stubbornly that the only thing that would make me happy was for my life to look like it did before the accident. But no one could give that to me, and no one else could make me happy. Happiness was my choice, and though it is hard won, I am the only person who can stand in the way of it." Stephanie Nielson
Okay.... I am still 15 pounds away from buying myself my ring. I set my goal at 25 and I have lost 10. I thought about just getting it anyway since I have already worked so hard but I couldn't do it. It is hard to lose 15 pounds. It takes time!!! I want it now!!!
And it doesn't help that Corey and the kids make homemade fry sauce WITH the best fry sauce ever. Add BBque sauce. It is to die for! (What! I had a few bites!)
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