Lucky me!

I am the luckiest mom alive to have Kristi as ONE of my many beautiful advocates for Bo. I love that I get to sit in the back of the primary room and witness the goodness she shows him.

She works with special needs children as her job. You'd think she be sick of it. I am so grateful she isn't and that she says she loves working with Bo. Because if she wasn't, he'd be being brought to me every Sunday and I just can't take it. I really really have such gratitude for her tender ways with one of the six love of my lives. I am eternally grateful. Really really really GRATEFUL! Like I think she is giving him him life in a way. Is that dramatic? I don't know. I feel really really strongly about the work she is doing with him.

She has all these things worked out to get him to sit through sharing time. She has him identify numbers on a paper to keep him quiet, she has him being rewarded if he can sit still for a bit. It's all really great stuff.

She is holding his hand and rubbing it! Be still my heart.

She lets him play with her ear rings and put them in her ear. One time he put her hair behind her ear. It was so sweet.

She gives him SO MUCH eye contact.

Rubbing his back!

Playing on her cell phone. I think it is a reward of some kind.

Isn't she darling? He is so lucky.

Um...I WANT this sweater. Those are little penguins!!!!!! I love anything quirky.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Corey told me that when he was a kid, his dad would always give them a box of chocolate for Valentine's day. Just leave it laying on their bed for a little surprise  Today when we got up he had chocolates and donuts for all the kids. I thought it was really thoughtful. (Too bad we don't communicate well. because I had also got them chocolate and gum.)

Later thought I found this cute note on Corey's night stand table. Sweet boy. He tried to cut it into a heart.

And Kassidy also wrote me a thank you note and gave me M&M's. Sweet kids.

 I drove Justine to the movies with a friend and had to laugh so hard about how she said Valentine's day was really "single awareness day". She said she wants to have all the fun stuff others get on Valentine's day, flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals. And that she can't wait to be married so she will get those things. I busted up. If you don't know why that is funny than it must not apply to you. Lol.

Corey and I had dinner out tonight. I was very proud. Because I am trying to just be "normal". I had half of my meal and survived. It wasn't low cal but having half and stopping before I was stuffed was HUGE for me.  And I wasn't even sad about it. I am trying to train myself to not be radical either way. And I have learned to HATE that stuffed full feeling. It makes me sick all night. So I just remember that and it helps me stop. And I remind myself that I am working on a goal.

At my last therapy appointment Kristopher and I talked about how I feel like often I am in withdrawal.  I remind myself of my friend who drastically gave up food and was left to face all her feelings with no addiction to turn to. She cried A LOT. I walk around A LOT feeling TOO much and not having food to dull down all those feelings. So I fret, or cry over nothing, or catastrophasize...I LOVE to do that one for some reason. I miss just being able to sooth myself through food.  I miss the real feeling of calm I get. But I cannot go back. I just refuse.

Kristopher said I might fight this forever now. That he knows Meth addicts who after years and years still think about meth daily. I don't necessarily think that will be the case for me. I think the Atonement can fix this. Or help it A LOT. I have hope. But Kristopher also said it would get easier. And I think it will.

Bye for now!