I have no title.

I can't believe I forgot to show you my pencil bag. I don't know why but it made me laugh. I know it is so old but I love that "I'm just sayin'" saying. I think it is pretty funny.

So I still think a lot about California.

My most very favorite memory was eating at Phil's. We ate in a room that was like outside. It was covered but you feel the ocean. It was a bit cold, which I love, and foggy, which I love. Birds were landing here and there eating scraps of food. I ate this crazy bowl of seafood. It was so wonderfully good. We had sour dough bread with real butter. Artichokes stuff with crab and dipped in a garlicy mayo.

It was very symbolic to me of my therapy. Because once Kristopher told me, when my mind is clear and I have sorted through all my garbage, that it will be like eating clam chowder by the seaside instead of from a can bought from Walmart. When he told me this, he had no idea that I adored clam chowder and seafood. He was just throwing out one of his therapisty analogies.

So there I was. Smelling the ocean. 80 pounds thinner. Which in a way, is "enough said". Losing 80 pounds has changed the core of my being is LOTS of ways. So sitting there thinner, with a whole bunch of new and clear thoughts in my head, facing private, painful, old, old fears, at that very moment,  eating seafood in ocean air.  It was just heaven. It really really was.

And at one of my visits Kristopher referred again to that time. Reminding me about how beautiful life can be. It is beautiful to me to have someone who understands that with me. How much that day meant. I have been blessed with people to go with me on this journey. A journey I can't really explain.  I am grateful for them. I think "Heaven only knows" what this year has meant to me.

One day, I am going to fly there, meet my super fun, super cool, sister in law, eat at Phil's, and go home.

One day in California we were driving along a coast. I have no idea which one. A lady told us where to find harbor seals. It was so SUPER neat. I loved them! Here is an over kill of pictures. But I mean...for reals!!!! Harbor seals!!!! Just laying right there!

Oh wait. But first, a cool seagull.

Harbor Seals!!!! Just ling there in the wild!!!

Wendy and Zoe bought this little otter for Kate. We took several pictures of it on our journeys so she could see. She loves the thing! It's so cute.

I am feeling very thankful for the opportunity to go to this church college. My online teacher actually told us she prays for us INDIVIDUALLY. Where in all the world do you find that at college! I wrote her an email about some of the confusion I was having. She wrote back and was so sweet and kind. She told me how much she wishes for my success and how I was meant to be in this class. It will be of no surprise to you that I just about CRIED!!!! It was so sweet.

I truly don't know what is in my future. I don't know if I will work or what will happen. I know it is a huge priority to be available to my kids during the summer. So I just don't know how this school thing will affect my life. But I am excited for the opportunity. You know, when I am not crying about how I can't do it.

So tonight My cute in-laws came over and brought us treats. We are sitting there chatting and talking with Grandpa Dale. He has kept his little cabin up in the mountains. Rhett has gone up and helped him care for it a bit. So it cracked me up when Rhett turned to him and said "So how does your grass look?" I laughed and laughed. He was like some old guy. He is just so cute.

So tonight, as the puppy was trying to CHEW UP THE COUCH, I yelled at Justine to stop him. I chewed her out a bit about me having to yell at her. She said "You're always yelling." Cause she was annoyed at having to deal with Brody. How quickly the fun wore off! :)

SO I YELLED......"I DO NOT ALWAYS YELL!!!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!" And I yelled it. Cause I was mad. It's funny...

and...

it's not.

Night!

P.S. Kassidy found another job. At a day care. She didn't know if she should keep it.

Cause guess why....

It's really hard.

Cause guess why....

She has to work EVERY DAY!!!!!

(four hours) For the love of all entitled kids! What in the world! LOL. And this girl is one of the least entitled kids out there. She pays for nearly all of her own stuff! So needless to say that cracked me up. And of course, I told her "welcome to adult hood", and that she had no choice but to "stand" it. I love it when I get throw around Kristopher lingo.

(To her credit she has worked since she was 16 and she will be working two jobs. )