I's a student

I am not sure if I really have made an official announcement or not. But I am starting college on Monday.

I don't know why but I feel so weird about this. I am not sure if it is the right choice. I am not sure if I am ready for it. I don't know if I am doing the right thing by adding more chaos to my chaos. I have no desire to read text books. I don't even know if my potential major is correct. I don't know. I really wanted to just be the mom and that is it.

But believe me when I say for various reasons this is a necessary choice for my mental health.

I am taking a leap off the cliff of life and going for it. Kristopher calls it the "controlled fall". It is better to take the "controlled fall" over being shoved off the cliff. Just read his book if you want to know what that means. here

So the best part of going back to school?

Well okay....there are several good parts about going to school. (They sell fudge on campus)(And I should clarify that it is actually just one online class and one class up at the college.)

But I bought myself school supplies. And a book bag.

Buying the bag was almost torture. I wanted an over the shoulder kind and I certainly didn't need a back pack for one class. And at the fair they had a million of these funky bags. I finally just chose one of the simplest of the choices because it felt right. Sometimes I take these choice way to seriously. Gus teased me about being a hippy.

I bought these notebooks because I like the way the paper felt and it was pretty.

I had to get One Direction for my online class. Because it reminds me of my beautiful time with my girls in California. And no one will see it to think I am weird. or creepy.

I know. It's childish. But I like horses.

I LOVE PENS. I spent forever choosing just the right ones. And I put them in this box. And they are only mine. I am not sharing. Because I love my kids but they ruin nice things.

AWESOME, HUH???

So tonight I am going to the late night movie with my girls to watch ONE DIRECTION in 3D!!!! Right on, baby! I can't wait.

Tonight was group. Kristopher taught something so important that i have to share it. And i believe it with all my heart. SO I hope yu will think about it and take it serious. While I cant share the exact story I am going to share a hypothetical version of it.

If you had something traumatic happen and your spouse dies and you could never go to the same spot your spouse died at...what do you think the solution would be.

Move? Avoid the spot? Don't ever see that spot? Or the people who were associated with that spot?Don't ever think about it?

Kristopher says if you want to get completely healed than you go to that spot and sit there. And stand it.

And you will find out that it does not kill you. Sometimes you will find out (as his client did) that it wasn't as horrible as you thought it was going to be. And you survive it.

And you get free from it.

That's what Kristopher says. And we all know he's always right, right? Lol. Just kidding. Okay, not really. But I am. But I'm also not.

I am funny. Or a bit ill.