In the details! Thank Heavens!

I just spent a nasty evening trying to put up the stupid lights on the Christmas tree. Only to learn I don't even have enough working sets. I had to tell the kids to LEAVE me alone because I could not be nice and set the lights up at the same time. 

I told Corey "Why is this my job??????!!!!!!!" 

Him..."Because I could care less if we have lights on the tree."

Ummmm....*crickets* Well...I guess that settles it then.

Today at our church was fast and testimony meeting. Where we as a church group fast and then go to the microphone if we so choose and bear testimony of Christ.

It is pretty special to hear your peers and their testimonies. It helps yours to grow. When the conductor of the meeting mentioned that this was the last chance to bear before the New Year I got that awful feeling you get when you need to go share yours. It is scary. But I needed to go up. Because I realized that for the majority of this year I have been on my physical and mental journey to better health. And I just wanted to say how grateful I was that God was in my details. The details of my whole year were very much planned for me, I believe. And I loved it.

Even though some painful things happened and I ended up in therapy, God was in every single ounce of those details FOR me. It makes me feel so loved. And Kristopher was so right in saying that the hurts that happen to you can really be "the best news ever" because those hurts put you somewhere else which is usually a great chance to learn something awesome.

And that has been the case for me. I wouldn't trade the things I learned for an easy year, no way! It has been a spectacular year. The hurts have hurt spectacularly and I deeply treasure them now. They were definitely my "best news ever".

I just finished the book Heaven is Here written by Stephanie Nielson.

I have followed her blog for a while. It has been very interesting. She and her husband were in a plane crash and she was in the hospital for five months. Her children were cared for by her siblings and her baby ended up thinking Stephanie's sister was his mother. It was a sad and great read.

But she talked in her book about some tender mercies from God that she was given. She referred to a leader from my church, Elder Bednar, who taught that "tender mercies are moments when you feel personally recognized and assisted by Heavenly Father" (quoted from her book)

I have so enjoyed many tender mercies this year. Mercies that I KNEW were FOR me FROM my Father.

A huge mercy for me is friends. I needed my friends this year. NEEDED. NEEDED. And they were there.

I needed this little blog. NEEDED. I needed the outlet. I enjoy it.

And...I'm sorry to keep bringing it up, but one of my huge tender mercies has been therapy.  I had tried therapy before. It didn't take. I think that happened for a reason. And I think I (God) found the therapist I have now for a reason. It took.

And the way it all happened, happened in a way that I firmly believe was a tender mercy JUST for me. No one will convince me otherwise. Don't even bother trying. I know you won't anyway. I think you all pretty well believe me anyway.

I have had some great pain and anguish over my therapy days ending. Kristopher doesn't believe in just seeing you forever. He believes in giving you the tools and solving the problems and you going out in the world and creating your life to be something great.

I feel lots of anxiety over not seeing him anymore. As you maybe can tell, I have grown quite fond of him. One of my friends summed it up quite well when she said it will be like losing a friend. That's it.

Because of feeling anguish about when the big day of me being done will happen, I was given the great idea o f making a "treatment" plan for myself. I will list the things left I need to discuss/learn from Kristopher and the time I would like to be done. Then it won't sneak up and traumatize me. I really have been very concerned about it sneaking up on me. I am hoping to do some visits once a month for a bit, to check in, make sure I am well and help with the sadness of being done. I don't know yet what Kristopher will think of my plan but I think it will be great for me to take action in my own mental health this way.

I hope I continue to see tender mercies. I hope you do too. I think if we pay close attention and believe, we will recognize them like crazy.

Like cute little Rachael from testimony meeting today. She couldn't find her volley ball socks. And God helped her. They were under her blanket on her bed. God was in her details.

And He is in yours.