We have been having our yearly Lord of the Rings marathon. I have seen it enough that it bores me slightly and I get a few dirty looks from someone who shall remain nameless for being on the lap top.
I have been struggling is in massive amounts with my eating. I decided I would take two days off and relax (Still tracking it though) and enjoy eating what I wanted. I made home made clam chowder and home made broccoli soup and brownies with a mint layer and this peanut butter dessert. Needless to say....Two days has turned into four and I am still on a "break" from strict calorie counting. And now that break has turned into...
"Hello comfort of food. I have forgotten how nice you feel. I have forgotten that when life gets desperately confusing and hard that you are my companion and won't betray me. And that when life is fun you celebrate with me. And when life is boring you entertain me..."
But that is a lie, isn't it? It will betray me. Eating my sorrows away will give me diabetes Eating my stress away will keep me fat which feels like being physically imprisoned by your body. Eating my emotions away will take away all that I have worked for for six months. Eating my uncomfortableness away will keep me dependent on addiction And it isn't the answer And I know it is true. Kristopher and I talked about it today. We discussed that stuffing food and emotions down is not healthy. The answer is talking about your feelings to people. And saying positive proclamations which I desperately need to kick in gear. And I really think I am going to have to plead and beg and pray for strength to regroup and start again.
Kristopher and I spoke about getting to the point in life where you are happy enough with yourself that you don't really care what others think about you. You do that by increasing your frustration tolerance. So...if you are really bothered by eating alone because you are embarrassed by being alone (this is the example he shared about a guy he knew) then you go and eat alone a lot until your level of frustration is high because you are use to the uncomfortableness If you have something or someone that triggers hurtful feelings in you, you put yourself in that situation until it doesn't bother you anymore and your level of frustration is increased.
So that is something he does with me. There is a word that really triggers some sad feelings in me. I told him about it once and now he says it often knowing that it bothers me. I don't want that word coming out of his mouth in my safe place. But he is bratty and does it anyway to make me tolerate it until one day it is suppose to not even phase me. You all are probably envisioning me writhing and wailing in pain when he says the word. It isn't dramatic and odd like that. He usually just throws the word in and I roll my eyes or heavily sigh and he says "See?!" because it is apparent it still gets a reaction from me. I always tell him I don't want him to say that word to me and he always assures me that he isn't saying it "to" me. He is just saying it to increase my frustration tolerance of it. Does that make sense?
Just sharing in case it can be useful in your life somehow. I have said it before but I do not take it for granted the girt therapy is to me and I couldn't bear not sharing something that might help others. I want to share the gift that God has seen fit to give me because i am so grateful for the peace and comfort and clarity I receive from visiting Kristopher.
So...at church in Primary it is our "turn" to decorate the wall for the year. This is what we did this morning for two hours. I am pretty happy with it. Picture obviously doesn't do it justice. I love the ladies I work with at church.
So...we are babysitting out friend's chinchilla. Because chinchillas are social creatures I have to sit with it twice a day for twenty minutes so it doesn't get lonely. Bahahaaa. Uh... I have children I don't sit with for twenty minutes a day!
Did you know that chinchillas poop over 200 fecal pellets a day.....uh....A DAY!!!! 200!!!!!! HOLY WOW! That is all I have to say about that! Besides....
What t.h.e. WHAT?????
200!!!!!!!!!!
Also...I cannot leave the holidays without sharing with you this completely delightful recipe my good hearted, fantastically witty, darling friend Christina
shared with me. It is amazingly delicious. A must for New Years Eve!
Pomegranate Salsa
1 bag cranberries
1 pomegranate, take seeds out (use 1/2 of seeds in mix, 1/2 of seeds after mixed)
1 jalapeño take seeds out
1/2 bunch green onions
Handful of cilantro
1 C sugar
Put in food processor. Blend till small like salsa. Add other 1/2 of pomegranate seeds whole to it all after blended.
Serve over cream cheese and with crackers.
See ya!
See ya!
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