Not going to do it! I'm not!

Sometimes Kristopher MAKES me so mad.

Oh wait. I'm sorry. He creates me to feel so mad. Because no one has the power to MAKE me feel any way.

But I told him today "I don't like you".

And "this session isn't going well".

And "now I am going to be sick for a week".

And he asked me today to do a really hard thing.

The thing I want to do less then any thing of all the things I want to do.

The thing I told him I would never do.

And he wants me to do it. A really hard thing.

And I am mad. And I said why can't he just be happy a little bit for all the growth I have done.

Why does he have to push and push me. It's ANNOYING!

He said he will not allow me to get stuck in addiction to therapy and to him.

Which honestly can easily happen. Addiction is like a happy chemical in our brain. Food was giving me a happy chemical. Therapy gives me a happy chemical. He wants me addiction free.

I know he is trying to do what's best for me. But I can't help but be mad at him.

So I am.

Even though he told me today to force myself to stay rational. Which I think would include not being mad at the therapist who is trying to strengthen me. But I am anyway.

And since he doesn't read my  blog I can post it all over this post.

MAD MAD MAD.

And I even wore glitter today. Bad session. I'm not wasting glitter on therapy any darn more!

People all the time are shocked I am in therapy. I have had people tell me that my life isn't any worse then anyone else's. Like perhaps I shouldn't be in therapy over my mostly normal life.

But I am important too. And my problems are worth reconciling to me. And I am learning gobs that I hope to share somehow someday.

I am thrilled and thankful and blessed that Heavenly Father gave me this opportunity.

And even if Kristopher is a pushy butt I am grateful for him. But still mad today.

Maybe tomorrow I will be more rational. Don't count on it though.

I am going to see One Direction in 3D with my daughters next week. That makes me happy.