by design!

HOW DID IT GET TO BE FRIDAY EVE ALREADY!!!!!????

I don't even get how time is going by so fast!

I LOVED this. As in tons. It made me laugh. In fact every time I read it I laugh but it is also true. I have felt often times that I am not justified in taking up all this time in therapy because my problems aren't that bad and I should just toughen up. I made a list the other day of all the ways I have just toughed up because I had to or was taught to. Or that because someone else has bigger hurts than my hurts just must not matter.I still think I should just get over it. Kristopher asked me once why I trivialize my own feelings.

One day my friend told me that God wanted this therapy for me (thanks Sherri!). And I have had too many things happen to believe otherwise.

I feel important that God cares about my "little" problems enough to send me help. I wonder why He cares about me when there are so many other deeply suffering people. But He involved Himself in my life and intervened in my behalf. I can hardly even believe it honestly. If I didn't know it was true I would chalk it up to luck. But I know. I know. I know He wanted me learning what i am learning.  And more importantly at the time I am learning it. It makes me feel so loved.

I couldn't help but to complain in therapy yesterday. I told Kristopher I had heartache for a long time and why did it have to take so long for me to get some answers to my confusion. I basically told him I could have had the problem solved way earlier and not had all this suffering if I had found the right help sooner. And I told him I was kind of mad about it.

He told me not to be mad about it. And he reminded me how entitled that was.

It always surprises me when he says stuff like that. Because I just think why wouldn't I want help ASAP.

But Kristopher looks at it as entitled because Christ had to suffer, we have to suffer. We can't skip the steps in our suffering or we won't learn and progress. If I had relief sooner I wouldn't have the lessons I have. I know it. And I like it when Kristopher acknowledges it also. I like that he also believes that I am in his office at this time in my life by design.

The kids school had a shoe drive for the children in Africa. A really great lady named Lisa headed it up. The kids gathered 2000 shoes. No joke. My children were going nuts donating our shoes. Some we still wanted! Nathan donated some church shoes. But the boys had matching pairs in different sizes. Nathan donated one of each size. So then we had to donate the other pair of mismatched shoes. And now Rhett has no church shoes! ha ha!