are the chickies running the roost around here?
what the chicken is up with...
DAY DATES!
You know, the all day day date the kids have to have now before they attend the prom? This is certainly a new thing to me. We never had day dates growing up. Did you? I don't know anyone who did! (after I posted this I spoke to my friend who is 34 and she indeed had day dates!! Who knew!) Who invented this idea and why has it stuck? Why are we letting it stick, is the real question.For anyone who doesn't know what I am talking about, now days (aren't I old?), before you go on your date to prom, you now go on a day date as well, with the same person. That same day. Usually something big and la de da. Is it just me or is that STUPID?
Actually I know it is not just me. A few weeks ago I was at a restaurant and a group of girls (with their dates) came in, in their gorgeous, yet sadly immodest, (think dancing with the stars) prom dresses. They were gorgeous girls. Which I sorta think is wrong too. When did girls become so gorgeous and so put together? At that age I had on blue mascara! And eyeliner! Anyway, I heard a group of parents discussing their kid's prom and the seemingly new tradition of day dates.
They thought it was STUPID.
My friends think it is STUPID.
My neighbor down the street thinks it is STUPID.
My relative thinks it is STUPID.
I think it is STUPID.
You think it is STUPID. (okay, maybe you don't, but I am betting you all do.)
Along with STUPID....
what about EXPENSIVE,
and INDULGENT.
Don't these kids have some chores to do? Charles Ingals kids didn't have time for day dates and prom all in one day. I'm thinking ours shouldn't either. (Keep a look out for my blog dedicated to Charles, I love that manly man!)
Are you starting to think I am nuts and a little bit dramatic here? I know Terri is.
Anyhoo, I just don't agree with continuously making everything bigger and better and fancier and easier for our kids. (Like the day I realized that you now had to send a candy with the Valentine for the school valentine's day party. I remember just being happy if you happened to get one of those candy hearts taped to your card. Now everyone has to have a nice candy attached.) For more of my feelings on the subject read one of my favorite letters by Paul Harvey on the bottom of this post.
Back to day dates...I have a friend who lets her kids do the day date. Just on a different day. Tricky, eh?
Also I have heard the statement along the lines of, "If you aren't completely comfortable with you're date, who wants to spend the whole day together. And if you are completely comfortable with you're date...you shouldn't be spending the whole day together!"
Makes sense to me. So if we all think this is crazy WHY WHY WHY aren't we just telling our kids NO!
Let's all ban together and bring day dates down, baby!
Who wants to start a FB club?
For your amusement, here are some pictures of me going to Prom...
My mom made this dress. Love that metallic lace skirt! It was awesome. In its day.
Truly 80's hair!
PAUL HARVEY WRITES
HIS GRANDCHILDREN
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in, I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove, and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you. Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.
Paul Harvey
4 comments:
So, from a different perspective maybe, I absolutely LOVED day dates!!! FAR FAR FAR better than the actual prom or dance in most cases. Our school's dances were expensive like crazy (especially the pictures) and of course the tickets and the dress/tux and the flowers, ect. . . Then you actually get to the dance and it's ridiculously LOUD (with profane music most of the time) and people are dressed far too immodestly and dancing too inappropriately to feel at all comfortable while you're there.
In my opinion. You should keep the day date and ban the dance. They can be truly horrible. Maybe that's just how it was where I lived.
The day date, however, was a blast. Usually we'd order pizza for the group and play fun games and stuff before getting dressed up in our dresses. Not usually expensive things like going out to eat at an expensive restaurant or something. Truly, fun things where you can actually get to know each other in a group setting. One time, we even went garage sale-ing for our day date. Too fun!
Just my opinion. :)
Oh and where I grew up the church ended up sponsoring a stake dance on school dance nights so the members could go to a dance that was a little more suitable. They provided pictures and food and everything too, and of course, decent music.
I hope my girls have something like that to look forward to when they're teenagers.
Good points!
I love that idea about the church dances on the same night! Good ideas!
I know mothers/kids who have been so disgusted with regular Prom they've created their own. I liked my prom, Russell's prom... my senior prom I showed up at, but I didn't stay very long. It wasn't overly expensive either, but we were a small town - it was held in a hotel. Russ and I had our dinner out at McDonalds.... :D We never did do anything normal - no one HAS to do anything.
As for day dates. I've never heard of this, but then, Russ and I dated in High School and we pretty much had a "day date" all the time because I lived an hour away, so he made the trip worth his while. ;) I think if it were me, I'd do like your friend and insist it was done on a different day, preferably a different week. How do girls have time to fix their hair and nails and stuff?
Oh - and Crystal wore a gorgeous Prom dress to church on Mother's Day... she bought it at DI for $12. ;)
Sorry Susan but I have to disagree. I loved the day dates in high school. We did day dates with every school dance - whether it was boy or girls' choice. We had so much fun coming up with things to do. One dance we even spent the night at a cabin in Yellowstone the night before (parent chaperoned of course!) I had a huge group of friends so we had fun asking eachother to all the dances. For a girls' choice once, we rented one of those big blow up castles and had a picnic next to it. The day dates were definitely more fun than the dance itself which always seemed to be a let down! (Here in Utah you hear of kids going to Disneyland for their day dates - now that is extreme and expensive!) I think that as long as your daughter is going with a good boy (hopefully just a friend!) I see no harm in spending time together during the daylight hours! It's those dark dances and staying out till 2:00 in the morning that gets kids in trouble - I'm just saying!!!
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